My experience with the Pfizer vaccine

So, over the day of the fifth, of the Cinco de Mayo of May, I celebrated my Latina heritage by going to get Bill Gates’s purple flurp injected into my arm. That’s right, I had the big ol’ 2nd vaccine. It was, the Pzifer or however you spell it, but nonetheless, I managed to get it finally, and now I’ll never have to wear and mask, and can slurp vomit off the sidewalk if I do feel so inclined.

generic vaccine stock photo from getty images

But honestly, I can’t imagine being one of those people who say that vaccines are filled with baby eyeballs or whatever and it’ll make you Animorph into a starfish, or something like that, because I really am the dictionary definition of a “hypochondriac”.

Which, according to the Oxford dictionary is: “A person who is abnormally anxious about their health”, and I couldn’t describe it better myself. I’m hearing about this virus that’s collapsing people’s lungs like a fourth grader sucking the juice outta a Capri Sun pouch out here, and honestly, I don’t care if there’s snail urine in that thing, I am getting that shot one way or another.

So, anyway, I’m at El Wallgreens as the Spanish say, waiting in line to get my 2nd shot, observing all the new mystical types of beef jerky on the shelves, and they finally call my name, and I finally get my shot. I try to make conversation with the person by making the same 3 jokes they’ve probably heard 87 times in the last hour, and I was on my lil way.

Afterwards, I went to a lil family owned mom and pop shop known as Chick-Fil-A, even though I know the evil corporation is gonna get an extra $0.003 from the restaurant tax, I still couldn’t help myself.

But honestly, after the whole ordeal, I was feeling pretty good that I was one step closer to finally being able to go out to all the crazy high school parties I would always go to before this, because you know how much of a social person I am. But yeah, everything was perfectly fine just like after the first shot.

Anyone else remember reading Animorphs in 3rd grade? Crazy stuff

Until like 3am when I woke up feeling like someone just landed a plane on my bronchi. I mean like my whole upper body just felt like a wet sponge that somebody was slapping against a corner of a wall (that being the best way I could describe it). Honestly, it was like every time I’ve ever been sick with like a flu or anything, just all simultaneously came back to kick me in my cardiac notches.

So, I did the usual standard practice of writhing in pain while laying down trying to fall back asleep to no avail until about 1:30pm when I finally decided to go into the kitchen and make myself a massive pot of rice and beans while drinking 37 Tom Brady style glasses of water throughout the day.

Did you ever hear about this? Like this guy Tom Brady requires himself to drink THIRTY SEVEN glasses of water in a day, that’s half his body weight in ounces, like how is he still alive?

Anyway, I was slowly chowing down on that bowl of rice and beans for about five hours straight, because honestly, lifting up the spoon was enough of a workout as is, and I just sorta felt like, the peak of when you’re about to throw up, but for the entire day. Just like the worst feeling you get the moment right before you’re about to throw up, but haven’t yet, and while usually that lasts about, I dunno, 8 seconds, but for me it lasted about a full day.

So, that was pretty great.

And with me being a hypochondriac, for a second I almost was like, “Aye wait, are those anti-vaxxers right? Am I now on Bill Gates’s tracking app so he can come into my house any time he wants and eat Trolli gummy worms on my couch while catching up on new episodes of Brickleberry’”?

But after that long arduous day of eating from the same bowl of rice and beans, and drinking my elephant suitable water supply, I woke up next morning with a lil’ headache, and by the day after that I was perfectly fine again, but now having this shot in my immune system.

So, that was like what, a day and a half of feeling like this? Honestly, if I wouldn’t have had this vaccine, instead I’d eventually have that virus, and feel this way for about whatever many days right? So, if I just had to take one day of that versus like, a month or whatever for symptoms to subside, like honestly I’d be the first one in line to take every vaccine they grind outta the vaccine kitchen.

So yeah, if you take anything from this article it’s that PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING GET VACCINATED. DOCTORS KNOW MORE ABOUT MEDICINE THAN A GUY ON REDDIT WHO STILL THINKS TRUMP CAN WIN IF THEY RECOUNT ARIZONA FOR THE 73RD TIME. PLEASE JUST GET YOUR SHOTS AND LISTEN TO PEOPLE WHO WENT TO COLLEGE THANK YOU.

The Water Sandwich: My personal 15 minutes of fame

So, I was halfway done writing an article about kids growing up in the age of the internet and all that, and how misinformation and (Mr. Information – that’s not funny I’m sorry) could shape the world as we know it now, but it made me remember a way in which I, Zach Zachowitz, made my mark on humanity as a whole, by creating the ultimate lie, of the Water Sandwich.

I have literally NO way of proving I was the person who created this because of how much it’s been reposted, but I made this fake screenshot of a fake wikipedia article when I was in 8th grade, using some image of holding some bread under running water

So, in 8th grade, during the beginning of 2018, I made this fake screenshot using Inspect Element, and posted it to the internet machine because… I dunno I was bored or whatever, and within a few days, it sorta accidentally became a meme, because people thought it was real and all, and the concept of a “Water Sandwich” being a cuisine is so stupid, it just worked.

Here’s just a handful of posts I found online just by google searching it

I made it from New Zealand, just because nobody really knows anything about New Zealand, and I guess the entire internet just ran with it. Again, I have no way of proving this was me, but then, there’s literally no reason anybody would fake something this mundane, so let me have this.

Not only that, but Google search results even come up for “New Zealand” when you even search for “Water Sandwich,” basically tarnishing the entire nation’s good name from the actions of 13-year-old me a few years ago. So honestly, I don’t know how I sleep at night.

screenshot from google, you can try this yourself and it’ll come up

I also found that the official Subreddit for the country of New Zealand had a particular discussion about it from a foreigner questioning whether or not it’s real. And due to either peer pressure, or I don’t even know, people acted like it was real, and I’m like “Wait, they’re literally talking about something I made up,” like, if that isn’t the funniest thing of all time to you, I dunno what is.

Comments from this https://www.reddit.com/r/newzealand/comments/f247iq/til/ reddit post. Really shows you how much people lie on the internet,

I mean, this dude literally made up an entire history of it, “Yeah people don’t eat it much now because of the fluoride scare.” Like, CMON DUDE!

“Yeah my buddy showed me this when I moved here,” NO HE DID NOT, YOU ARE LYING!

I am, (until now) the only person who 100% knows for sure this guy’s pulling this stuff outta nowhere, and I just find it absolutely hilarious. Especially with how pretentious he’s being as well like, “Yeah we have better water than you stupid Americans.” Like yeah, I know, Flint, Michigan and places have some gross tap water and all that, but the fact he used a made up thing to one-up Americans, I dunno, it’s just so hilarious that people just make stuff up and roll with it like that on the internet so blatantly.

I’ve actually seen a lot of this on places where it’s posted, and people lie like this, but this is just the best example of what I’m trying to say here. If a dumb kid like me can make all these people CONVINCE themselves that New Zealanders commonly eat something called a “Water Sandwich,” then think about all kinds of misinformation that can be out there. Like honestly, it’s kinda scary. I genuinely feel like I’m about 5% more skeptical of things I read online from this experience alone.

Also, another strangely goofy thing that’s come from this is some company, or AI, picked up the fact that my “Water Sandwich” image was getting so popular, so it automatically put it on a ton of T-shirts and other merchandise (which I haven’t made a CENT off of, like I’m gonna sue those guys for real – actually I’m not, but still, it’s a thought).

Image from Redbubble.com
image from google where it shows a lotta the “merch” of it. I dunno who’d ever buy this, but the fact it’s for sale is crazy to me.

So yeah, I dunno, this sorta was, and still continues to be my 15 minutes of “fame” in a way, but literally nobody knows I did it until now. Again, I have no way of proving it was me, you’re just gonna have to take my word for it, but you’ve gotta admit, this would be a really odd thing to lie about.

Why we should push for gun restrictions

By: Hayat Osman

Warning: this topic may be sensitive to some readers.

Although there was a pandemic in 2020, according to the ‘Gun Violence Archive’ data, the rate of gun violence didn’t decrease. Instead, gun violence killed nearly 20,000 Americans; more than any other year in at least two decades.

Image taken from: https://www.washingtonpost.com/nat ion/2021/03/23/2020-shootings/

Considering only high-profile mass shootings get media coverage, they overshadow the instances of everyday gun violence. This may be one of the reasons why the need for gun control is swept under the rug by the government.

One example of an everyday instance caused by gun violence in 2020, that is overshadowed by mass shooting reports, is the additional 24,000 people who died by suicide with a gun.

Because the media doesn’t often report the role of gun violence in homicides, domestic abuse, suicide, and unintentional deaths as much as mass shootings, “It doesn’t get the support, the spotlight, the national attention. People don’t understand that it’s continuous and it’s on the rise,” said Mark Barden, co-founder of the gun violence prevention group Sandy Hook Promise.

A study in 2016, published by the academic journal ‘Epidemiologic Reviews’, wanted to find ways to resolve the problem. They reviewed evidence from 10 different countries, around the world, on gun laws and gun violence from 130 different studies, to see if they could find a similar conclusion. One compelling trend they found was that gun restrictions on purchasing and owning a gun was followed by a decline in gun deaths.

So, the results of this study show that if we want to lower the death rates that are caused by gun violence, we must push for the government to make gun restrictions.

For more information, please visit:

‘May I Please Enter’ by Alan Resnick review

Alan Resnick, known for his creepy and strange lil’ shorts that he puts out every once in a while, made this Adult Swim “small” known as “May I Please Enter”. And with it being sorta one of the “newer” ones of his, I thought I’d review it, in an opinionated way, talking about what I personally saw in it, so yeah, here we go.

So, Alan Resnick has been making stuff for years and years, whether it be mini series’, shorts, music videos, etc, and the common theme which most people and I could probably notice when watching his stuff, is that he really enjoys making people uncomfortable. Through either building unrealistic, yet surprisingly tangible tension, or through breaking the viewer’s expectations so irrationally, that they might not even know how a scene was supposed to make them feel. It definitely might not be for everyone, but hey, I think it’s pretty good, so yeah, this short “May I Please Enter,” is assuredly no different. 

Once you get to this point in the article you should probably watch it on YouTube if you’re interested (https://youtu.be/TgxSIFcTvLo). It’s about 10 minutes, and at least I think it’s pretty good enough to the point that it’ll be worth watching to avoid what could be considered spoilers. (That and you’ll probably not really understand like 80% of this without watching the short beforehand anyway).

So, it opens up with Alan in some sorta cowboy getup, doing a sort of “reality show” where he tries to enter someone’s home, and that’s supposed to just be the show I guess. By the first minute, he already sets the tone pretty well by contrasting the somewhat “upbeat” opening theme with an eerie aftermath of him looming towards the door of the house he “selected” and being strangely threatening towards the random people who he comes across while they wonder if he should come into their living space.

One thing you’ll notice, is how blunt, awkward, and strangely obvious every line of dialogue happens to be. This, while also adding to the humor of it all, sets the unsettling tone pretty well, as it leaves the viewer to desire some semblance of normalcy in an already uncomfortable situation.

Even self aware stuff, such as the “He reminds me of North American colonialism”, almost parodying the viewer trying to make sense of, and take meaning from, what they are being presented with, really just feeds into how unnatural it all is from the start. 

Alan Resnick honestly builds tension in a pretty impressive way as well. As one YouTube commenter put it, “This is a horror movie without the horror”. There is so much rising discomfort in how the audio cues, visual hints, and even scenes that look as though they contain eerie foreshadowing, all ultimately go nowhere, and just leave the viewer dazed and confused by the end of it all.

Like, the “other people live in this house” thing, just perfectly had the atmosphere of the obvious cadence which tells you “something’s not right”, but it just ends unresolved with Alan wanting to just go and see more of the house.

There’s plenty of scenes like this throughout that also do the “fake foreshadowing” thing, like the whole breathing slipper/weapon scene and whatnot, but I think you get the idea.

Another smaller scene I wanted to point out, was the whole part about those “funny little phrases they bought on the internet” with most notably the one that went: “Imagine being so wealthy that your body stops moving”, which sorta predicted the whole phenomenon of NFT’s that’s going on right now if you think about it. It’s not too important specifically to this review, but I just found that interesting watching it again and wanted to mention it here for whatever reason.

But honestly, no scene in this short really is integral or meaningful to the plot, which at the same time, makes all of it equally important, if that makes sense. I mean, without the atmosphere this is total nonsense, and nothing anybody does really matters, but honestly, that’s kinda what makes it, and things like it so interesting.

I mean, most narratives in general, take place in a comfortable “grounded” reality in how people interact with each other on a day to day basis. Like if you watch a movie where it takes place in a sorta crazy ol’ fantasy world or whatnot, characters will still be made to be like, relatable to the viewer. But this makes it seem almost as though our own world is more unreal than any fantasy situation we could see in a movie or book, as we watch just how honestly strange and unsatisfying everyday interactions, and general human behavior, could be as viewed as, through the perspective of a sorta artificial intelligence based robot, or something like that, looking into the breakdown of human behavior as a whole.

So, that’s how efficiently I feel Alan makes our world seem fictional. Like everything they do in the short, easily could be something people do in their every day lives, but it’s presented in such an unconventional, yet uncomfortably blatant way, that it feels almost like an uncanny reflection of how we as people see ourselves, and how incredibly alien and awkward it all feels when you just ever so slightly offset the typical path of how life plays out as a whole in human society.

So yeah, I personally thought it was amazingly strange, creepy, and awkward throughout all of it. And like all Alan Resnick’s shorts, I could definitely find the humor in the discomfort of it all, so I’m not gonna give it a score or anything, all I’m gonna say is, if you’re into this sorta thing, I hope you enjoyed it, and if not, at least you can see where I’m coming from with this breakdown/review of it.

Why this article is ACTUALLY BAD!?!?

Image a compilation of images taken from YouTube

Late at night, you’re scrolling through your Youtube page, having a nice cup of sandwich on your lap, and you just can’t seem to find anything that interests you at the moment. You scroll further past your usual recommendations of Mr Beast building a house out of coffee filters, or whatever people watch nowadays, and you scroll so far you see something… disturbing. Something unusual. Something that makes you angry, upset, and confused. Something that so profoundly shatters your own comfortable conception of reality, that you just have to click.

The video in question: “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Was Actually A Bad Show, And Everyone Who Likes It Is Stupid” by mrcoolguy2009. Now you say, “But… I like The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air, is this person saying I’m stupid? Well I sure don’t wanna be stupid, so I’ll let this guy, who’s clearly smarter than me explain to me why this show I like is bad, so I wont be stupid anymore!” 

I mean, I know that’s not the exact thought process in regards to the psychology behind why people click these videos, But I feel like sometimes it’s supposed to be that way. It’s somewhat commonplace to use the ability of making someone feel as though they are missing out on something, by doing something wrong, or liking “the wrong thing”, just to either make people click over fear of missing out on the “correct” way of looking at things, or to garner controversy from those who disagree. Either way, it’s a pretty straightforward way to get somebody interested in what you have to say, by letting them know they’re “wrong” for liking something

But once people actually do click these videos after seeing the thumbnail and title, why are some so inclined to take this one lil person’s opinion as fact, and subconsciously give it a higher standard of credibility as opposed to when you hear a conversation in everyday life? Well, I feel like it’s more or less just the disconnect between being told an opinion via a real conversation, via flashy Youtube edits with big red letters and a graphic that has an arrow pointing at something, alongside its 300k views, so if a lot of people also read the same thing as you, sometimes people are just like, “Yeah, I guess it’s gotta be true, I mean why else did so many people watch it?”

In other words:

When you hear me say something stupid like “Drinking water is probably really bad for you, because eventually you’ll get water poisoning and die and your eyeballs will roll outta your head” or whatever, most people can easily go: “Yeah this guys an idiot, and I disagree with him because of this, this, this, and this,” and that’s a perfectly balanced system because you are the one deciding how you intake this other person’s viewpoint. But in the regards of an opinionated commentary video, there isn’t really too much back and forth between the creator who’s telling you his take, and “you”, who’s hearing it. You can’t just pause the video and say to the guy “Hey, maybe ‘Forrest Gump’, isn’t a bad movie just cause he walks past the same extra twice in the scene where he gives the speech”, you can only do that in your head and while using something known as your own common sense.

World famous professional Youtube personality known as “The Nostalgia Critic” who talks about how Disney’s “Hercules” is a bad movie because Greece doesn’t look how it does in real life

But with something being presented in such an official, and highly promoted format, with somebody who is only producing their argument through a lens in which no disagreements or personal criticisms can pass through for the entirety of said video, it seems slightly more futile to consider challenging this person on their take. I’m not saying it makes everybody seem objectively right all the time, I’m just saying with all these cards stacked in their favor, it makes people a just a little bit more inclined to believe what they say, even if it is based on some nonsensical nothingness.

So, I guess this article is pretty much just stating the obvious of “If you say something with enough confidence, and have a large enough audience, more people will take you seriously”, but with everyone (including my own)’s bias in everything they say, especially online, I’m just saying how I feel like it’s a little too easy to get caught up in believing/agreeing with words on a screen because of who’s saying it. So, I dunno, all I’m saying is; just take stuff with a handful of salt before giving into the worldview of “UncleFungus1941” over your actual peers and friends you know in real life. 

The problem with ‘Dear Evan Hansen’

By: Bijou Kruszka

Image taken from: https://bit.ly/3m9CLmT

‘Dear Evan Hansen’ is a musical that premiered on Broadway in 2016, and has been extremely well-received. The show won 6 Tony awards, including best musical. A movie adaptation was announced late last year and will be released in September.

With the movie awaiting release, and Broadway closer to reopening, I wanted to shed some light on the issues within the story of the hit musical.

A short plot review is necessary for context, so here it is:

Evan Hansen is a socially awkward high-schooler who has no friends, a broken arm from falling out of a tree, and deals with social anxiety. His therapist recommends writing letters to himself, as a way to motivate Evan.

One day at school, he meets Connor Murphy, another teen who struggles with mental illnesses as well as drug addiction, who signs his cast. When Connor accidentally reads one of Evan’s letters, which had a few lines about Evan having a crush on his sister, Connor storms out with Evan’s letter in hand.

The next day, Evan learns that Connor has killed himself, and the Murphys believe that Evan’s letter, found on Connor, is, in fact, Connor’s suicide note. Now, here’s where the plot gets sticky. Instead of coming clean, Evan pretends that he and Connor were best friends. He tells the Murphys a whole narrative of their friendship.

Evan then enlists the help of Jared Kleinman to fake emails between the two. Evan also starts an organization, the Connor Project, dedicated to keeping Connor’s memory alive. This sounds nice on paper, but to do it, he has Alana Beck take charge, who’s only interested in it for publicity and her college application.

Later, Evan develops a romance with Zoe, built on more lies about Connor.

In the end, he tells the truth about Connor. The finale is Evan, a year later, living a good life, when he sees Zoe again.

So, what exactly is wrong?

Quite a few things. Let’s start with the titular character, Evan Hansen himself. He has so many opportunities throughout the show to tell the Murphys the truth. Instead, he continues to build more and more of a false narrative of his “friendship” with Connor. Evan feels more like a part of a family with the Murphys than with his single mom, so he continues to manipulate them. It happens to the point where Connor’s parents offer to pay Evan’s college tuition. That is awful, considering how large of a financial decision that is, especially today.

In Act 2, the truth comes out, and Evan sings what is supposed to be an apology to the Murphys, but slowly turns into a pity party for him. The song is nearly 5 minutes long, and he barely says sorry once for his actions. Evan has manipulated this family into believing this web of lies, including lying to Zoe to create a romantic relationship, and can’t even bring himself to properly apologize. He then leaves, and the Murphys don’t see him again for a year! He goes on living his life as if he hasn’t just destroyed a family emotionally. It’s infuriating.

Then, there’s Connor Murphy. To start, both Evan and Connor struggle with mental illnesses. Where Evan’s is used as a redeeming quality, Connor’s is used to villainize him. It doesn’t make sense. The show also uses him to romanticize suicide. That’s a bold statement, I know, but hear me out.

Connor, disliked by both his family and peers when he is alive, commits suicide. Then, when he dies, Evan steps in. Evan lies about Connor to Zoe, and she starts to believe that Connor did actually like her. Evan starts The Connor Project, convincing his peers and people online that Connor was a good person. Connor was actually a very aggressive person and was very unkind to those around him. The message is this: if you are disliked in life, just die and you will be remembered as a better person. What a horrible thing to tell people, especially knowing that the fanbase is made up of mostly teenagers!

In the end, the music of ‘Dear Evan Hansen’ is beautiful, but the story and characters have lots of issues.

Yoga in the United States

By: Grace Helmke

Yoga was once a practice that involved great spirituality and mindfulness. It was a way of life which no individual had taken lightly. However, after its introduction in Western society, yoga became a factory which Americans have simply thrown money at. The culture of Hindus, Buddhists, and Janeists have become a multi-million dollar industry marketed towards white women. 

The origins of yoga date back thousands of years. It was first mentioned in the ‘Rig Veda’, which are ancient Sanskrit texts from India, however, yoga was practiced by yogis long before there was written record of it. The ‘Rig Veda’ is one of the most important texts in the tradition of Hinduism. It is a collection of hymns and mantras divided into ten mandalas (books).

Over time, yogis passed down the discipline to their students. Schools of yoga had begun to expand across India, and started to spread through Eastern Asia as well. 

Yoga is one of the six schools of philosophy in Hinduism, and is a major part of the traditions of Buddhism, Sikhism, and Jainism as well. It is a practice which combines aspects of physicality, spirituality, and mental well being through breathing techniques, poses, and meditation.

Yoga is most commonly known in the Western world as being an exercise that involves poses, but in reality, physicality is not as significant in the traditional practices in India. Instead of being a fitness routine, yoga was focused on spiritual growth and mental improvement. The word yoga in Sanskrit means “union” and is meant to be a way to connect the mind, body, and soul.

According to a research study done by the University of Connecticut, yoga practitioners in the United States are generally white, middle aged, women, of a higher socioeconomic status. Therefore, the American yoga industry markets towards this demographic. Products such as yoga mats and blocks are so overpriced that they have become inaccessible to individuals of lower socioeconomic status. Yoga studios are generally built in areas of greater wealth. This might have something to do with the $90 yoga pants they sell, or the $20 per class fee they charge. Yoga practitioners in the U.S. spend more than $10 billion a year on classes, clothing, and accessories. The upscale white woman is the face of yoga, because that’s who Western yoga (white yoga) is marketed towards. 

One of the most significant symbols of the commercialization of yoga is the mat. Many consider this a vital piece in the practice. A top of the line mat can cost you around $100. However, mats have not always been a staple to the practice of yoga. The first mat which was intentionally produced for the purpose of yoga, was created in the 1990s. Before that, yoga was practiced on grass, rugs, and even just on the bare floor. Today some argue that the use of mats interferes with the practice, claiming it distracts the practitioner away from the true aims of yoga, and towards that accumulation of commodities.

The result of the commercialization of yoga could potentially be dangerous. Unqualified teachers can cause physical harm to students. According to an article by the ‘New York Times’, it is all too common for students and teachers alike to injure themselves from lack of experience in yoga. Glenn Black, an incredibly experienced and famous yogi, claims that the majority of people in practice, shouldn’t be.

Commercialization has driven yoga to become more of an exercise which involves harsh posing, causing injury to be common. It’s rarely known that certain poses can cause serious issues such as strokes, wounding of vertebral arteries, and blood clots. These poses are not meant for the inflexible white urbanite. The poses were extensions of positions ancient Indians used to sit and stand in every day. Their bodies were built to be able to bend this way.

The failure to discuss the idea that yoga can cause blinding pain is done on purpose. What’s pumped out into the media is the idea that yoga is a miracle cure for anxiety, depression, back aches, high blood pressure, and so much more. This furthers its already growing popularity and contributes to the rising trust in its abilities. The industry creates such an incredible profit that they would do nothing to endanger it. Therefore its potential harm is not mentioned.

In addition to the dangers commercialization of yoga can cause to Americans, the dilution and corruption of yoga in the Western world does harm Hindu people and culture, as well as other traditions that practice yoga. The way that yoga is practiced in Western society is cultural appropriation. It has erased the true traditions of yoga through the failure to practice in the correct manner. This creates obstacles for Hindu people attempting to access their own culture, and prevents the passing down of tradition.

Practicing yoga without acknowledging its background is also very problematic because of its history with British colonial rule. Hindus were persecuted by the British, and prevented from practicing yoga in their own land. Their culture was almost erased.

Hindus today still face discrimination for practicing yoga, while white people practice it without consequences and without ackknowledging the culture and people behind it. 

Western commercialization has created a culture of appropriation. We have turned hallowed traditions and spiritual practices into workout routines for the wealthy. Our lack of awareness and acknowledgement harms cultures around the world. The practice of yoga is not a weekly stretch, but in fact is a way of life.

For more information, please visit:

Streaming Services Are A Thing

In the spirit of this article, I’m making the header image literal advertising space for Pizza Hut. I don’t even know if I’m allowed to do this *Editorial disclaimer: we are not being paid by Pizza Hut for advertisement, but agree with the author’s decision to use the ad

So, recently, as I’m sure you’ve heard, Paramount launched it’s brand new streaming service known as Paramount+, and while I know it’s hard to contain your excitement at the idea of being able to watch as much ‘Young Sheldon’ as your heart desires for only $5.99 a month, this had me thinking of sorta how this all started.

Back when I was a drooling toddler, with a dent in my head, my family used to go to a lil’ place called Block Buster, where you could rent a DVD of ‘Paul Blart: Mall Cop’ once a week, whenever you wanted to see a movie without having to go through the hassle of going to a theatre (or a theater, one of the two).

But now, in the Year of the Ox, 2021, the moviegoing industry is just a little different now that cinemas are considered boiling soups of disease and sickness.

Originally, people would’ve turned to Netflix in this specific scenario, where you could watch all the movies you want in the comfort of your own lil’ hut, for only a given price per month. But now, there’s like 30 different variants of Netflix, all with different shows which are all exclusive to each, so you gotta collect them all now like some Yugioh cards or whatever.

So now, the experience seems to go a little something like this:

Man, I really like the movie ‘Caddyshack’, but Netflix only has ‘Caddyshack 2’, so now if I wanna see the entire Caddyshack cinematic franchise I need to pay for both Netflix and Big Burrito+, but I can only get both if I get the SpaghettiTV+ package which includes ‘Two Broke Girls Express’, which is the streaming service that only has 1 show, and that’s ‘Two Broke Girls’, which is the worst show of all time, but at least I can listen to Donald Glover’s new album which is exclusive to Disney+ because Donald Glover himself is apparently a Disney property now and so is ‘King Of The Hill‘.

All the most popular streaming services, including everyone’s favorite; Big Burrito+

So, I dunno, maybe it’s just me being cynical, and it probably wasn’t any better during the days when you had to deal with all those cable packages and stuff, but honestly, I just wanted to mention how interesting it is to me that ‘King Of The Hill’ is actually a Disney property now.

But, nonetheless, companies are now realizing that that if anybody is going to watch anything, you need to make it in a “binge watching” format, so people can feel like they’re in control to watch whatever they want, whenever they want. Even though the selection of shows/movies are only based on algorithms designed purposefully to announce the removal of a given show they know is popular, so that people’ll rewatch it as much as they can, out of the hope they can catch the fleeting availability of ‘Friends’ before they pull the rug out from under you, and Ross, Joey, and whatever Jennifer Anniston’s character’s name was, are gone from your life forever. 

And aside from already established shows being stuck on to these services as exclusive items to collect, more and more “original” shows are starting to pop up all over these places. But what’s wrong with having original stuff? Nothing, but there is one show, in particular, me and a buncha other people are sorta upset about.

So, there’s this show called ‘Kamp Koral’, and it’s all about the “infant years” of SpongeBob, which only particularly makes me lose my big ol’ Cheshire Cat smile cause the creator the original SpongeBob, Stephen Hillenburg, sorta was known for always talking about how he never wanted any SpongeBob spinoff shows, like a ‘Muppet Babies’ or a ‘Patrick Show’, to be made under his watch, as he didn’t wanna over commercialize it and sacrifice quality for profitability whatnot.

So, the executives in charge of Paramount/Nickelodeon conveniently waited until about 7 months after he passed away, to announce 2 separate ‘Cleveland Show’esque SpongeBob spinoffs; one being exclusively about Patrick, and one about SpongeBob as a toddler (Kamp Koral), which is just peachy… 

Honestly, people in general are sort of expecting this sort of thing from the overall “industry” in general, because it’s nothing new that corporate higher ups would be disregarding this guy’s wishes like this in such a blatantly disrespectful way, and I mean you can always just pirate your shows anyway if you don’t wanna contribute to 0.000001% of these guy’s overall revenue.

Which, I mean, is a really cynical way of looking at things, but, I mean, if you think about it, what if people just don’t wanna pirate stuff, and are happy to pay for networks which host shows they have fondness for? And what if these shows carry memories which might seem silly to some people, but could be meaningful to other people? What if people actually enjoy the exclusive content, and remember it with happiness like I remember watching SpongeBob as a lil’ kid?

I mean, yeah, these shows could probably be made without these services so easily, and the conscious of all the ‘Kamp Koral’ stuff still is scummy on a moral level, but in a time where people just naturally want entertainment to distract them from all this wacky stuff around them, maybe I should just let people enjoy their ability to watch as much ‘Young Sheldon’ in peace as they want, because at the end of the day, it’s just entertainment and what matters more in an American’s life than their TV?

What is it with logos becoming more and more simple?

So, recently, the obscure indie tech startup known as Google, decided to change the icons of all their apps (sheets, docs, etc) to basically the same design except with different shapes. 

I mean it’s not really earth shattering to me, like, I’m not gonna be hopelessly lost and confused in my treacherous journey to decipher which icon’s Google Sheets or not, but it still makes me go “well that’s sorta dumb I guess”, and that’s what this article’s all about!

A lotta other brands have been going this direction too, of sorta simplifying their logos and other corporate symbols to be more flat and less iconically memorable. Some good examples are like, WB, Intel, Petco, and Pringles all just being basically more corporate and flat shells of their former selves, that don’t really devastate me, but just make me go: Why’d they do that? 

Logos are just sorta a small commodity, a nice lil icon on your packaged product, so honestly there’s more I could be worried about in my life. But if one thing’s true about humans for all of history, is that we like to complain about useless nothingness which doesn’t affect our lives in the slightest. But anyway, they probably do this just to make it easier to draw and incorporate into stuff in a way that doesn’t take too much risks, and are easier to animate with less individual assets to keyframe or whatever, but there’s just something about say, the 2000’s era Pepsi logo, or Windows Xp logo, that just stand out to me I guess.

Making an icon, or design that’s memorable and iconic as a brand or otherwise that’ll stick, is definitely not an easy thing to do, especially when you probably have 20 different executives and management teams that your design’ll have to go through before they can even consider using it. But it is important when you wanna get your brand out there, to be something remembered by people so they can, y’know, keep buying it.

So, I guess when you’re a company as big as Pringles or whatever, striking iconography isn’t really that important when everybody already knows who you are, like people aren’t going “Woaa Burger King? Their logo’s like…a burger or somethin…thats wild man I gotta tell someone about this stuff”.

New Firefox logo next to new Snapple bottles

But still, the worst offenders of this are definitely Snapple and Firefox. While the browser icon’s still there, the Firefox company logo’s sorta just a fire uhh, circle now?

But then again, it’s not as bad as the Snapple redesign. I mean like I’m legit mad about this one, I mean my face is definitely turning red as I spit up white froth on my kitchen counter like a fat baby with a big ol’ vein popping outta my eyeball cause a billion dollar ice tea brand changed how their bottle looks, but really though, IT SUCKS!

I mean art’s all subjective and whatnot, BUT IT SUCKS!

80% of the whole appeal of Snapple was those glass bottles right? And like, ok ok, they changed the material to plastic, that’s alright I guess… but now seriously?? It looks like a bottle of coffee creamer or somethin, like alongside that insanely flat corporate logo, it’s almost like a different drink now.

But here’s a lil beacon of hope so that you can end your reading of this terrible article what some consider a high note: The new Popeye’s logo’s pretty cool.

It ain’t too bad.

My first day of work ever experience

By: Jimmy Somerville

I recently picked up my first ever actual job at Dominos. I turned 16 in November and like many other teenagers, and just people in general, I want money. And you get money by having a job, so I was never seriously job searching, but if there was an opportunity for a job, I was going to take it, and I got that opportunity.

My mom picked up pizza for us at Dominos and she saw they were hiring and all I had to do was text PIZZA to the phone number on the sign, and before you know it, I had an interview, and now I officially work at Dominos.

So, about my first day of work experience. I want to say my first day was around 17 days ago. So, it was a Tuesday I’m pretty sure. I was a little bit nervous but nothing crazy.

My shift was from 3-7 and 4 hours is actually a lot longer than I thought.

They had me sorting out and placing the order number stickers on the pizza boxes, and had me putting what the customer ordered on the pizza boxes. For example, if a customer orders a large pizza, the sticker would say 14” because it is 14 inches. I then take the sticker and put it on the box and set it a certain way on this shelf.

I also took calls which are harder than you’d imagine and sort of stressful at times. It is kind of difficult at first understanding how the computer works, especially when you have to move fast.

But overall, not a bad first day.

I will say work isn’t fun and I am just hoping my shift ends pretty soon after I get there. But my schedule is 2, 5 hour shifts a week, so nothing crazy at all. But 5 hours is a pretty long time. But at least I’m making $12 an hour. I know it’s worth it to have money at the end of the day.