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The entire story of ‘Metal Gear’

By: Hoaseng Thao

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*Warning: This article has spoilers for the Metal Gear and Metal Gear Solid games developed by Hideo Kojima. There are depictions of war and violence in this article*

In 1987, a video game called ‘Metal Gear’ was released on the MSX home computer and was created by a relatively unknown Japanese game developer, Hideo Kojima, who was working for the video game company, Konami. ‘Metal Gear’ was unlike any other 2D shooter game at the time, because instead of being a Rambo killing super soldier, you play as a special forces soldier named Solid Snake, whose mission is to infiltrate a base to destroy a super weapon known as Metal Gear. The game would become an instant hit across the globe and would start a complex series of stories that many have trouble trying to explain, and so I’m writing this article to help explain the story of Metal Gear and its sequel games.

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At the end of the First World War, the most powerful and wealthiest people from three nations across the globe, The United States, The Soviet Union, and The Republic of China, united together under one goal: to steer the very way of life from the needless brutal wars that could destroy society as we know it, and they called themselves, the Philosophers. Although the Philosophers united under one goal, to protect and steer humanity from new wars, there were already multiple factions of the Philosophers who were driven by their own political beliefs on behalf of their respective nations. The two most prominent factions were the Soviet Philosophers and the American Philosophers.

Tensions between Philosophers worsened when the last founding member of the Philosophers passed away in the 1930’s, leading to widespread corruption and distrust between the many Philosophers whose political leaning went against their own members.

Despite the growing tensions in between the Philosophers, the start of the Second World War began to somewhat unite the already feeble organization into pouring all their efforts into fighting the Axis Powers, and in their attempt to defeat them, they decide to create a secret special forces unit comprised of multiple nations within the Philosophers known as the Cobra Unit, with their leader being known as The Joy, but she would later adopt a more recognizable name; her name would be known as The Boss.


(From left to right, The Pain, The Fear, The End, The Joy, The Sorrow, and The Fury) Image taken from:

Born as the daughter of an American Philosopher, The Joy would become one of the Philosopher’s strongest assets as she led the Philosopher’s Cobra Unit in 1942 to fight the Axis powers. In her unit, there was The Sorrow who was a man whose unique abilities allowed him to talk to spirits, The End who was a sniper born in the 1860’s who was infected with an unknown parasite that allowed him to have a long lifespan, The Pain who had the abilities to control insects, The Fear whose freakish appearance and movements made him feared by his enemies, and finally The Fury whose rage and anger against the world made him brutal in battle.

One of Cobra unit’s members, The Sorrow, would gain the interest of The Boss and the two would later become lovers which would lead to her becoming pregnant with his child. Despite being pregnant, The Boss continued to fight in the Second World War and on the day of the D-Day landings, she was shot in the gut and was forced to give birth on the battlefield via Caesarean section. A baby boy named Adam, was born on that day but he would soon be taken from his mother by Philosophers.

Two years after the end of the Second World War, the Boss disbanded the Cobra Unit as the world would soon enter the Cold War. The Philosophers would become a shell of its former self, as the friendship between the East and West began to deteriorate the Philosophers from the inside, as their funding asset known as the Philosopher’s Legacy, which held around 100 billion dollars, was illegally inherited and stolen by a Soviet Red Army officer known as Boris Volgin.

Due to the rising tensions between the Americans and Soviets, The Boss was forced to choose which side she should pick as her lover, The Sorrow, was a Soviet Russian while she was an American. In the end, The Boss chose her country over her lover and she began to operate under the Central Intelligence Agency, but her actions within the Central Intelligence Agency made her a scapegoat to whatever mess the CIA had in any secret mission.

In June of 1950, The Boss met a young 15-year-old boy who went under the name John, and the two would bond together due to the both of them having similar experiences. Over the course of a decade, the Boss would train John in the creation of Close Quarters Combat but they would be forced to separate as The Boss was needed by the US government.

The US government, in an attempt to beat the Soviets in the space race, chose The Boss to become the first American in space as a part of the Mercury Project. During The Boss’s training to go to space, she met a woman named Strangelove who had fallen in love with her charm but as The Boss left Earth for space, her spacecraft would malfunction and crash land in the ocean, nearly killing her in the process and putting her in a coma only for her actions of being the first American in space to be wiped from the public.

After the crash of her spacecraft, The Boss was sent into the Soviet Union to eliminate her former lover, The Sorrow, as their son Adam would be killed by the Philosophers if none of them killed each other. Knowing that one of them had to die, The Sorrow sacrificed himself so that their child would survive. Distraught with the death of The Sorrow, a former friend of The Boss known as Major Zero, reached out his hand to her to form a new Unit under the CIA. The Unit’s name was FOX.

On August 24th, 1964, The FOX unit undergoes a secret mission in the Soviet Union with two operatives to take part on the ground, The Boss whose mission was recover the Philosopher’s Legacy from GRU colonel Volgin, and John, whose code name was Naked Snake, or Snake, was to rescue a defecting Soviet scientist named Nikolai Stepanovich Sokolov.

During the mission, Snake was able to infiltrate into the Soviet Union via a HALO jump and was able to get a scared Sokolov into safety before having a small fight with a man named Ocelot in which Snake tells him that he should use a revolver before knocking him out. As Snake prepares to lead Sokolov out of the Soviet Union, he learns about a new type of weapon, known as the Shagohod, in which Sokolov begs him to destroy it.

Despite leading Sokolov to safety, the sudden arrival of The Boss sets Snake off before she announces her defection to the Soviet Union. The two would fight and in the end, The Boss defeats her former apprentice and pushes him off a rope bridge. After “killing” Snake, The Boss takes Sokolov with her alongside a stolen American Davy Crockett Weapon System to a reunited Cobra unit and Volgin. As they leave the area, Volgin takes the Davy Crockett and fires its nuclear payload at a test facility which leads the Soviet Union to believe that the US had just bombed them.

After the failure of the mission, The US government panicked and after recovering a now alive and radioactive Snake, they began to prepare Snake to go back into the Soviet Union to eliminate Volgin and The Boss, to prove that the US did not bomb the Soviet Union. This mission would be codenamed, Operation Snake Eater.


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Snake, under the command of Major Zero alongside his companions, Para-Medic, and Donald Anderson whose code name was Sigint, undertook the mission and his first task was to meet with a Mole in the KGB named ADAM.

In the meantime another unit known as XOF, sends in their commander named Skull Face to clean up any mess Snake leaves behind. When Snake tries to meet up with Adam, he is met with a woman named EVA who tells him that ADAM couldn’t make it and she is to help him, she then tells him the location of Sokolov before they rest at an abandoned building.

As they wake up, they are confronted by Ocelot who now carries a revolver and meows (Yes he meows) for reinforcements before they are defeated and he flees in a humorous manner. EVA, trying to take the advantage to kill him, aims at him but is stopped by Snake who takes a liking to his weird nature.

Getting to the location of Sokolov, Snake meets a drunk Soviet scientist named Aleksandr Leonovitch Granin, who is the rival of Sokolov. He tells Snake the actual location of Sokolov before telling him that he is giving his friend in America a new type of weapon named Metal Gear. Before Snake leaves, Granin tells him about the Philosophers’ Legacy and its importance.

On Snake’s journey to rescue Sokolov, he faces up against the Cobra Unit members: The Pain, The Fear, The End, and The Fury, all of whom Snake had to learn from his mistakes in order to defeat them. After fighting through the Cobra Unit, Snake sneaks into the Groznyj Grad fortress which Sokolov is believed to be in, and in order to rescue Sokolov, Snake has to knock out a GRU officer named Ivan Raidenovitch Raikov, to steal his identity.

As he meets up with Sokolov, Volgin enters the room they are in and as Snake, who is disguised as Raikov, is discovered to be a spy after Volgin uses a “unique” tactic to see whether or Snake is his secret lover Raikov.

After the discovery, Snake is taken to an interrogation room where Volgin, The Boss, a disguised EVA, and Ocelot interrogate him which ends with Volgin telling Snake where the Philosophers’ Legacy was before Ocelot accidentally shoots Snake in his right eye.

Snake, now in a cell at Groznyj Grad, makes an escape after knocking out the prison guard named Johnny. During his escape Snake has to jump out of a sewer waterfall where he suffered a near death experience in which he meets the Spirit of The Sorrow. After waking up from his near death experience, Snake meets up with EVA, who gives him his captured equipment and an eyepatch to cover up his destroyed right eye. The two infiltrate into Groznyj Grad and end up destroying the Shagohod and heavily injuring Volgin in the process.

In their attempt to escape from Groznyj Grad and into safety, EVA tells Snake that The Boss wants to meet him in a field of white flowers near their escape aircraft. Snake meets with The Boss who then challenges him to a final and emotional duel, and as Snake points his rifle at his former mentor, The Boss gives him the Philosopher’s Legacy and one last message.

“There is nothing more for me to give you. All that’s left is for you to take my life by your own hand. One must die and one must live. No victory, no defeat. The survivor will carry on the fight. It is our destiny. The one who survives will inherit the title of Boss, and the one who inherits the title of Boss will face an existence of endless battle.” — The Boss

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A bang rang out as Snake leaves his former mentor before escaping with EVA on an aircraft but as they try to escape, Ocelot appears again and boards their plane before challenging Snake to a revolver duel with one revolver armed with one bullet. With a shot of revolver fired, it is revealed that the revolver armed with the bullet actually had a blank. Ocelot congratulates Snake on his mission before telling him his name, Adamska, before leaping out of the plane as both EVA and Snake escape into Alaska.

Both EVA and Snake take shelter in an abandoned cabin but as Snake sleeps, EVA leaves Snake with the Philosopher’s Legacy in her pocket before leaving a message for Snake, which revealed to him that she was actually a triple agent working under the orders of Beijing to retrieve the Philosopher’s Legacy.

After being rescued, Snake’s journey is celebrated by the members of FOX before being awarded the Distinguished Service Cross by President Lyndon B. Johnson. The President would give Snake the title of “Big Boss”, for his efforts of killing The Boss and eliminating the Shagohod.

Dissatisfied with the death of his mentor and the lack of care by the US government, Big Boss leaves the celebration and makes his way to Arlington National Cemetery, where he meets with the grave of his former mentor before giving her one last salute and one tear.

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When EVA returns back to Beijing, it is revealed that the Philosopher’s Legacy she had was actually a fake and with Beijing angry at her mistake, she was sent into exile. The real Philosopher’s Legacy was actually in the hands of Ocelot who is revealed to be a triple agent for the CIA and is actually the son of The Boss.

In 1970, Major Zero recruited Big Boss, Ocelot, Para-Medic, Sigint, and EVA to create a new organization based on The Boss’s goal of reuniting the world . The name of the organization would be known as Cipher. Ocelot uses the Philosopher’s Legacy he had to fund the organization while Major Zero turned Big Boss into a legendary figure for people around the world to follow.

This organization would soon falter as Big Boss and Zero clashed over what The Boss fought for, and because of this clash, Zero believed that he couldn’t push on the message of The Boss without Big Boss and by 1972, he began a project to clone Big Boss without him knowing. This cloning project was called “Les Enfants Terribles” or The Terrible Children.

Three clones of Big Boss were created with EVA serving as the surrogate mother for the cloning process. From oldest to youngest there were Solid Snake, Liquid Snake, and Solidus Snake. When Big Boss found out about his clones, he left the Patriots as he lost trust with his former friend and began to fight for soldiers around the world.

After Big Boss left, EVA took off as well while Ocelot remained as an ear for Big Boss, however, Zero decided to go into hiding while the rest of the original members became hungry for power.


In 1974, Big Boss alongside his friend Kazuhira Miller or Kaz and his Private Military Company (PMC), Militaires Sans Frontieres (MSF), is begged by a man named Ramón Gálvez Mena and a girl named Paz Ortega Andrade, to save their country of Costa Rica and their missing friend from a foreign PMC.

Big Boss refused to help them until they gave him an audio message that had what seemed to be The Boss’s voice in the background. Hearing The Boss’s voice, Big Boss readied his men to find The Boss and in the meantime, Big Boss takes control of an off-shore base as the headquarters of MSF.

In Big Boss’s journey, he encounters and helps a resistance group led by Amanda Valenciano Libre, and fights the foreign PMC group while finding leads about Paz’s friend and The Boss. While fighting the PMC group, he has to save the younger brother of Amanda, named Chico. As Big Boss rescues Chico, he learns about the locations of Nukes supplied by the CIA and decides to go there.

As Big Boss gets to the location, he fights a giant robot tank known as a Pupa and while fighting it, he is guided and aided by the Pupa’s creator, Huey Emmerich, on how to destroy it. After fighting the Pupa, Big Boss recruits Huey after learning about a project called the Peace Walker project, a walking nuclear armed AI weapon, alongside an AI facility in a Mayan temple.

After some time, Big Boss is able to rescue the missing friend of Paz before hearing The Boss’s voice again, but to his shock, he realizes the voice was not the Boss’s but rather an AI programmed to be like her. This is when Big Boss meets Strangelove, who hates him for killing the woman she loved, but then it is revealed that the weapon Peace Walker is about to launch its nuclear munitions to start a nuclear war. In the meantime, it is revealed that Ramón Gálvez Mena is actually a Soviet agent named Vladimir Zadornov, whose mission was to take control of Central America with the help of Big Boss.

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Big Boss is then forced to stop Peace Walker from launching its nukes and is successful.

After everything is done, Big Boss allows Huey to create a new weapon called Metal Gear ZEKE, which is based on the data from Huey’s soviet friend, Granin. As Metal Gear ZEKE was nearing completion, it was hijacked by Paz Ortega who was actually a Cipher agent named Pacifica Ocean. Paz’s mission was to get Big Boss to rejoin Cipher and in order to do so, she threatened to launch nuclear warheads at the east coast of the US and blame it on MSF.

Big Boss and his MSF soldiers are forced to destroy Metal Gear ZEKE before it launches its nuclear munitions, and in the end, Metal Gear ZEKE sinks into the ocean as Paz is presumed dead.

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In 1975, Huey Emmerich allows the IAEA (International Atomic Energy Agency) to conduct a search on Mother Base which annoys Big Boss and Kaz, but in the meantime, MSF learns about the survival of Paz who is currently being held and tortured in a US black site in Cuba named Camp Omega, a plan to eliminate her was in the process until Chico was captured while trying to save Paz.

Big Boss was forced to do a solo mission while the IAEA conducts their “search” on Mother Base. Big Boss infiltrates into Camp Omega with a skeleton crew of a helicopter pilot and a MSF medic, and they successfully rescue the two from captivity, but as they return back to Mother Base, they find it burned and destroyed as it is attacked by XOF.

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Mother Base was destroyed, almost all remaining MSF soldiers are killed, as Kaz is rescued by Big Boss and his skeleton crew.  As Big Boss’s helicopter flies away, it is revealed that Paz has a bomb in her body and she jumps out in the. hope to rescue them, but the explosion causes the helicopter to go out of control and crash.

After the helicopter crash, Big Boss, Kaz, and the Medic are rescued and put into a hospital where both Big Boss and the Medic are put into a long coma. Unbeknownst to Big Boss, Zero and EVA move both Big Boss and the Medic to a hospital in Cyprus to hide them from XOF.


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After nine years of being in a coma, Big Boss wakes up and meets Ocelot, who tells him the news about his coma before saying that XOF is hunting him down and the two plan on making The Medic, who is still in a coma, into believing that he is Big Boss to protect the real Big Boss from both Cipher and XOF.

In the meantime, Kaz creates a new PMC named Diamond Dogs, as a way to reclaim the former glory that he and Big Boss made. As The Medic wakes up, he undergoes plastic surgery to change his face into that of Big Boss, but after the surgery, the hospital they are in is under attack by XOF and The Medic, now referred to as Punished “Venom” Snake or Venom Snake, has to be escorted outside the hospital by Big Boss. The two encounter Volgin who is now referred to as the Burning man due to his burning body alongside a young Psycho Mantis during their escape via ambulance van to which they crash into a ditch.

After the crash, Ocelot is able to rescue Big Boss and gives him the ID card of The Medic for him to act as before rescuing Venom Snake from the ambulance. After being rescued, Venom Snake is tasked with eliminating XOF commander Skull Face and his army before they encounter many unique people such as a young Liquid Snake named Eli, Quiet who’s a female assassin who can go invisible and can breathe through her skin, and Code Talker who helped Skull Face into weaponizing a parasite that can target certain languages. Venom Snake also rescues Huey Emmerich who currently is making a new Metal Gear called Sahelanthropus.

Venom Snake, Kaz, and his Diamond Dogs are able to track down Skull Face and kill him before taking Metal Gear Sahelanthropus for themselves. But the parasite that Code Talker helped create for Skull Face is released into the new Mother Base, causing Venom Snake to kill his infected men to save the world. It is soon discovered that Huey was actually the cause of the released parasites, who are then exiled from Diamond Dogs.

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Venom Snake then realizes that he isn’t Big Boss and was actually being forced into being like him, but he decides to remain as Big Boss due to his devout loyalty to him.

Eli and his gang of child soldiers soon capture Metal Gear Sahelanthropus and the last sample of the parasite before hiding on an island. Venom Snake is then tasked to destroy Sahelanthropus and rescue Eli and the child Soldiers but they are ambushed by XOF. After being ambushed, Eli appears to be have symptoms of the parasite and Venom Snake leaves him to choose his own fate, but then the Psycho Mantis appears and removes the parasite from Eli’s body and they escape as the island is napalmed.

After everything calms down, Kaz leaves Diamond Dogs after realizing that Venom Snake is not Big Boss, and due to this Kaz begins to train Big Boss’s clone son Solid Snake into becoming a better soldier that Big Boss could ever be. Big Boss and Venom Snake form a military nation named Outer Heaven deep within South Africa.


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1995, Solid Snake begins his first mission for the FOXHOUND unit and is tasked with rescuing another member named Gray Fox from Outer Heaven. It is believed that Outer Heaven has a Metal Gear in their arsenal and it must be stopped. Solid Snake is able to infiltrate into Outer Heaven where he meets with “Big Boss”, who is actually Venom Snake, and kills him before fleeing as Outer Heaven self-destructs.

In 1999, Solid Snake was brought back to FOXHOUND by their new commander, Roy Campbell, to help destroy another Metal Gear in a Military Nation named Zanzibar Land. Solid Snake infiltrates Zanzibar Land and he meets/is attacked by, his former friend, Gray Fox, who he defeats. Solid Snake destroys the Metal Gear before encountering the real Big Boss who he then defeats via makeshift flamethrower. Big Boss is left scarred and burned as Solid Snake alongside another FOXHOUND agent named Holly escapes Zanzibar Land.

After Zanzibar, Solid Snake retires from the military and goes into hiding in the Alaskan wilderness before being brought back into the US military in 2005, when Campbell tells him that FOXHOUND members started a rebellion on a military base on the island of Shadow Moses. The rebellion is led by Liquid Snake who is trying to take control of a new Metal Gear named REX.

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Solid Snake infiltrates the Shadow Moses where he is aided by Mei Ling, Naomi Hunter the sister of Gray Fox, Hal Emmerich or Otacon the developer of Metal Gear REX, FOXHOUND recruit Meryl Silverburgh who is actually the niece of Campbell, and his old friend Gray Fox who now dons a cyborg ninja suit. In Solid Snake’s mission, he encounters a Genome soldier named Johnny Sasaki, Ocelot, and Psycho Mantis who are aiding Liquid Snake in his mission on launching a nuke from the railgun on Metal Gear REX.

Solid Snake then learns about an artificial virus named FOXDIE that was implanted in him that will kill anyone that has a specific DNA. Solid Snake alongside Gray Fox destroys Metal Gear REX but the latter dies in the process, Solid Snake then fights Liquid Snake whom is killed by FOXDIE. Solid Snake escapes Shadow Moses with Meryl and with the help of Campbell, Solid Snake fakes his death.

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After Shadow Moses, Ocelot tells the news about Liquid Snake’s failure to US President, George Sears, who is actually Solidus Snake, before he sells the plans of REX onto the black market. With the leak of REX’s plans, Otacon and Solid Snake form an Anti-Metal Gear organization named Philanthropy, to destroy all Metal Gears in the world.

In 2007, Solid Snake infiltrates onto a USMC vessel disguised as an oil tanker where he discovers a new Metal Gear named RAY, but in the process the vessel is boarded by Russian mercenaries and Ocelot. After getting data about RAY, Solid Snake fakes his death by using the corpse of Liquid Snake as his own.


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In 2009, a FOXHOUND agent named Raiden is tasked to rescue President James Johnson who was taken to an oil decontamination facility named Big Shell from a rebelling military unit named Dead Cell, Russian mercenaries, and Solidus Snake who is disguised as Solid Snake. In Raiden’s mission he is aided by his fiancée Rosemary or Rose and “Campbell”.

After infiltrating the facility, Raiden fights Dead Cell including Dead Cell members Vamp who has nanomachines that prevent him from dying and Fortune who is a psychic. During Raiden’s mission he meets with the real Solid Snake alongside Otacon, and Otacon’s sister, Emma Emmerich, who all tell him about The Patriots, a shadowy organization that was born out of Cipher that now controls every aspect of American life.

It is revealed that Big Shell is actually a disguise for the construction of an enormous warship named Arsenal Gear which houses an AI system named GW. Emma Emmerich had created a virus that would essentially kill GW. In their attempt to destroy Arsenal Gear, Emma Emmerich is killed by Vamp which emboldens Otacon to continue fighting. Raiden is then taken hostage by Olga Gurlukovich, a member of the Russian Mercenaries, and is moved inside Arsenal Gear, but it is soon revealed that she is a part of Solid Snake’s team and needed him and Solid Snake to get into Arsenal Gear.

Raiden also learns that the Campbell he knows is actually an AI made by the Patriots to make him do his bidding.H e also learns that his fiancée, Rose, is not only a spy for the Patriots but is also pregnant with his child. Raiden, Olga, and Snake fight their way through Arsenal Gear to not only destroy Arsenal Gear but also save Olga’s child who is being held hostage by the Patriots.

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Raiden fights his way through Arsenal Gear and reaches the top where he faces off and defeats multiple Metal Gear RAY units, but he then collapses from exhaustion. Solidus Snake appears and attempts to kill Raiden before being stopped by Olga who is then killed by him. Solidus Snake tries to kill Raiden by using the remaining RAYs but they are disabled due to Emma’s virus.

Ocelot then appears and tells Raiden, Solid Snake, and Solidus that he was actually an agent for The Patriots and everything they just did was all planned by the Patriots and before he could kill them with his piloted Metal Gear RAY, his right hand which was cut off by Gray Fox during Shadow Moses, twitches and Ocelot then switches personalities to that of Liquid Snake before leaping off with his Metal Gear with Solid Snake following after him.

Arsenal Gear then crashes into Manhattan, to which Solidus Snake tells Raiden that he killed his parents before saving him when Raiden was just a child in Liberia. He then trained him into becoming a child soldier named Jack the Ripper before separating. Solidus Snake tries to kill Raiden in order to get the location of the Patriots but is then heavily injured when Raiden sliced his back, causing him to go into a brain dead state. Raiden is able to reunite with Rose and chooses to live out his own life.


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After the Big Shell incident, Solid Snake saw his body age faster than expected, this is because of the FOXDIE in his body, and by 2011 his body was too weak to rescue Olga’s daughter so he had Raiden retrieve her and bring her to both him and Otacon.

By 2014, Solid Snake’s body is growing older and it is revealed that Solid Snake didn’t have a lot of time left, and the fact that Liquid Ocelot was still alive did not help with Solid Snake’s already worsening body. In the past few years, Liquid Ocelot had been starting up a company known as Outer Haven, which is a mother company of multiple PMCs.

Solid Snake, with the help of Otacon, and Olga’s daughter Sunny, fight their way across the world in order to stop Liquid Ocelot, and while fighting they meet some old friends such as Meryl, Johnny Sasaki, and Campbell. During Solid Snake’s journey, he meets an arms dealer named Drebin 893 and his pet monkey who both help him use guns that are usually ID locked. In order to do this he is forced to have nanomachines injected in his body, but the nanomachines were actually a new type of FOXDIE.

After some time, Solid Snake meets up with Naomi Hunter who tells him that the old FOXDIE he has in his body will eventually mutate and kill everyone on the planet, essentially making him a walking biological weapon. Solid Snake then escorts her to safety when they find a heavily modified Raiden who had been experimented on by The Patriots. Their encounter would be short lived as Raiden would be heavily injured by Vamp but he is able to survive and escape with Solid Snake, and Naomi.

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Raiden would tell Solid Snake about a woman named Big Mama who helped him and she is currently a leader for a small resistance group in Eastern Europe.

Solid Snake, with the help of Meryl and Johnny, meet up with Big Mama who is then revealed to be EVA. EVA tells Solid Snake the tale of Big Boss and that she is his mother as well as telling him the story of the origins of the Patriots, she then tells him that she actually has the vegetative body of Big Boss in her possession, however they are soon attacked by Haven Troopers, specialized female soldiers who are under the command of Liquid Ocelot.

During their escape, EVA is killed in the process as Liquid Ocelot destroys the remains of Big Boss in a big fire as he makes his escape alongside with Naomi. But Otacon was able to get information about Liquid Ocelot’s true goal which was to use the Railgun of Metal Gear REX and use it to destroy JD, a Patriot AI, and use GW to take over the Patriots’s AI system.

Solid Snake, Raiden, and Otacon return back to Shadow Moses in which they are able to kill Vamp and take over Metal Gear REX, but it turns out the Railgun is already gone while Naomi dies after telling Otacon that Sunny has a virus named FOXALIVE that could dismantle JD. Solid Snake, Raiden, and Otacon make it out of Shadow Moses before using REX to fight Liquid Ocelot who is in a Metal Gear RAY unit, but in the end, both metal gears are out of commission and Liquid Ocelot is able to escape by going on another Arsenal Gear dubbed as Outer Haven.

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Liquid Ocelot’s escape would be caught off guard when Mei Ling arrives with the battleship USS Missouri but they escape successfully.

Solid Snake and his friends make one final attempt to stop Liquid Ocelot, and they would then locate and board Outer Haven in which Johnny Sasaki and Meryl confirm their love for each other, and Raiden defends Solid Snake as he uploads FOXALIVE into JD. After successfully uploading FOXALIVE, Solid Snake falls unconscious and is dragged onto the top of Outer Haven by Liquid Ocelot, who tells him that everything that just happened was a part of his plan. They then get into one final fist fight with Solid Snake literally beating the Liquid out of Ocelot, before Ocelot succumbs and dies to Solid Snake’s FOXDIE.

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After the death of Ocelot, everybody celebrates Johnny and Meryl’s wedding while Solid Snake visits Big Boss’s grave before planting a gun in his mouth so he can stop the FOXDIE in his body from turning into a biological weapon, but he is unable to do this, and then a familiar voice talks to Solid Snake, one that was as if it was Big Boss.


Big Boss appears and both he and Solid Snake point their guns at each other before Big Boss drops his gun and hugs him while telling him to “Let it go”, Solid Snake drops his gun as Big Boss explains everything about the Patriots and everything that led up to it.

Big Boss explains to Solid Snake that EVA died due to Solid Snake’s FOXDIE and that the body EVA had of “Big Boss” was actually Solidus Snake, who was an identical clone of Big Boss. He then explains that Ocelot, EVA, and Naomi were working together to help Big Boss and kill Zero.

Big Boss then introduces a vegetative Zero to Solid Snake and then explains that Zero had no real control over the Patriots before questioning if Zero was scared of him. Big Boss then peacefully kills Zero before telling Solid Snake that he would soon die because of Solid Snake’s FOXDIE.

Before FOXDIE could kill Big Boss, he would go to The Boss’s grave before saluting and telling Solid Snake to live out his remaining days “Not as a snake, but as a man” before peacefully dying next to his mentor’s grave.

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Solid Snake then takes his father’s advice before leaving to live out his remaining days with Ocelot and Sunny.

Ending Notes

That is the end of the Metal Gear story from Hideo Kojima’s writing. I hope you at least understand some parts of the story as Hideo Kojima’s writing can be a bit confusing at some points. I love the Metal Gear games and their stories, so I hope this article can get people into playing some of the Metal Gear games because the stories are by far one of the best video game stories we’ve ever had in the video game industry.

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Best romance movies

By: Rose Ramadan and Thea Berg

* Note: This article contains spoilers

Many movies have been made throughout the years. They range from all different genres and all different story lines. Some are good, some are bad. All are different. Since there is such a wide range of movies, this article will focus on our all time favorite genre: romance.

What makes a good romance movie? In our thoughts, a good romance movie is made from three major components.

Number one, how the main characters meet. There are many different ways for characters to meet: through friends, online, in person. By far, in person is the best way. Blind dates and online don’t seem as romantic.

Number two, the story line. Of course there has to be some type of drama in the movies, either a love triangle or some type of accident.

Number three, a happy ending. After all other components, a happy ending is mandatory to enjoy a romance movie.

The number one favorite movie of the romance genre in our opinion is ‘The Notebook’. This movie follows a plot of two characters who meet and fall in love fast. Their love lasts for a summer; three short months, but it is full of long adventures. They are deeply in love. However, Allie, the main character, leaves for college, leaving behind her true love. In college, she meets a man and falls in love with him and gets engaged. Seven years have passed since she saw her summer love, but once they meet again, it’s like they were in love just yesterday.

This movie has an amazing ending, with the two lovers falling back in love and living their lives how they had always dreamed. The ending is super sad, however, for Allie suffers through dementia and forgets her true love. With their strong love and connection, however, they remember each other at the end and die happily together.

Another amazing romance movie is ‘Titanic’. This movie includes so many amazing components, however, it ends without the happy ending all viewers crave. Rose and Jack fall in love on the Titanic on their way to the United States. Jack is poor and alone, escaping the harshness of his hometown. Rose is rich and lives with her family, who she plans to escape to be with Jack. Once the Titanic splits, the lovebirds try to stay together and alive. However, there isn’t enough space for both of them to survive so Jack ends up dying, leaving Rose heartbroken in the middle of the ocean.

Another romance movie we love is ‘How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days’. This movie is about a girl named Andie who works at ‘Composure’ magazine. She wants to write articles about politics and important things, but her boss has other ideas. She wants her to write about love, shoes, boys, etc. She comes up with an article idea after her friend gets dumped for being too clingy. She decides to find a guy and do everything she can to get him to dump her in 10 days. She does anything any guy doesn’t like, such as being too clingy, or too emotional. When she is picking out a guy to test this on, Ben gets a bet to make a girl fall in love with him in 10 days by his coworkers. She chooses Ben for her article without him knowing, and he chooses to make her fall in love with him…without her knowing.

Throughout the 10 days they go through a roller coaster in their relationship. All sorts of crazy things happen between them. She is starting to get annoyed because he is not seeming to lose interest, and he notices she is taking awhile to fall in love with him.

Towards the end of the 10 days they go to Staten Island to visit Ben’s family, while they are there they both fall in love with each other’s true selves. After the 10 days are up they are both at a jewelry show and their secrets are revealed by each other’s bosses. Both of them are mad and Andie storms out. When she is running off to find somewhere else to write articles Ben chases her down and confesses his love. She goes back and finds new places to write about politics and further her relationship with Ben.

There are many more romance movies we could write about, but we will keep it to these three classics, our all time favorites.

‘Amanda The Adventurer’ – Explaining the story

By: Julia Yang

Image taken from:
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Note: This article contains spoilers for the game

What even is ‘Amanda The Adventurer’? Well let me tell you.
‘Amanda The Adventurer’ is an indie-horror game and Amanda is the main antagonist. You will play as a character named Riley. Riley has come across some strange VHS tapes left by their missing aunt, Kate. It’s your job to see what these tapes contain, and piece together the dark secrets that they tell. The game developers have released many demos in the past, and finally came out with the full game on April 23rd. Now that we know that, let’s see what the story of this mysterious game is all about.

‘Amanda The Adventurer’ starts with Riley opening a letter that they received from their aunt Kate. Kate was thought to be a librarian, but as you progress through the letters, you soon learn that aunt Kate was investigating complaints and behavior issues with the 2000’s show called ‘Amanda The Adventurer’. Aunt Kate is missing, and in her letter it implies that the show had killed her. With aunt Kate’s disappearance, it is now your job as Riley to continue with her investigation work.

Riley is in their attic, this is where your investigation will take place. You will find VHS tapes and notes throughout the game. The more you find, the more insight on this matter you’ll gain. The show ‘Amanda The Adventurer’ started off as a public live-action TV show. The show creator Sam Colton never expected ‘Amanda The Adventurer’, starring his adopted daughter Rebecca, would be such a hit. Sam explains in a recording that a big entertainment company, Hameln, has purchased the rights to ‘Amanda The Adventurer’ and is making it a worldwide broadcast, and it’ll be digitally animated instead of live-action.

We soon see a secret tape recording of Rebecca in the middle of production with Hameln where the directors ask Rebecca to repeat some very odd phrases; “Bye-Yell, Pie man”, and “Baa Lamb”. Sam questions the phrases the director is telling Rebecca to repeat but is interrupted by Rebecca. Rebecca snaps and yells, “No! I don’t want to do that!” and claims she’s responding to the man in the headphones.

The phrases Rebecca was told to repeat are, according to many, the names of demons; Bael, Paimon, and Balam.

Sam Colton suddenly disappears in the middle of production, and Rebecca is handed into the custody of Hameln. We’ll see recorded footage of Rebecca signing a contract and then being led into a room with pipes, implying that she may be underground. This will be the last time we see Rebecca, as Hameln makes an announcement to the public asking to “Respect her privacy”.

Not long after this, ‘Amanda The Adventurer’ looks to be taking a turn for the bizarre. Parents have reported incidents of the show presenting strange images and ideas like “parents are not always right.” On one of the secret tapes, the orange one, we discover that after kids watch ‘Amanda The Adventurer’, they go into a trance and after they’re out of their parents line of sight, they disappear out of what seems like thin air.

In the final tape you will receive for the “True” ending, Amanda states ominously “I’m out there. Somewhere.”

Best energy drinks in my opinion

By: Biftu Osmon

Energy drinks are created to have higher amounts of caffeine to boost energy levels and alertness. They have become a popular beverage choice in teens as of recent years. I decided to review some of my usual, as well as some new, energy drinks.

The first energy drink I’m reviewing is the orange flavor of Celsius. Celsius is one of my personal favorite energy drinks. When I first opened the can, I got a whiff of a citrus smell. I would compare the flavor of this to a Sunny-D with higher caffeine levels. I’m a big fan of citrus flavors as this is my go-to drink for when I want caffeine. I rate this drink an 8.5 out of 10.

The next energy drink I reviewed is Red Bull in the yellow edition. This was one of the new energy drinks I taste tested. I was a little skeptical to try it because the packaging wasn’t appealing. I would describe the taste of this drink as fruity. I was scared at first but I enjoyed this drink. It perfectly encapsulates the tropical flavor. I rate this drink a 9 out of 10.

The next energy drink I’m going to review is the BAYA Starbucks energy drink in the raspberry lime flavor. This drink definitely won in terms of marketing and design but not in taste. I didn’t enjoy this drink because the raspberry and lime mixed together didn’t compliment each other. The aftertaste was also unsettling. I would rate this drink a 2 out of 10.

The final energy drink I’m reviewing is the Ghost energy drink in the flavor cherry limeade. The looks of this drink were also deceiving. The flavor reminds me of a more citrusy Shirley Temple. I would give it a 6 out of 10 overall since I found it to be excessively sweet.

BWCA summer 2023

By: Greta Johnson

Summer 2023 the Boundary Waters will be open to canoe, kayakers and backpackers once again. With over 1 million acres of federally protected land in the northeastern part of Minnesota and similar wilderness across the border in Canada. This year over 250,000 people visited the BWCA.

Many people have signed up for permits this summer. Most are “putting in” at an outfitter or an entry point and have planned trips through the wilderness for at least a couple days.

Planning is a very important part of a BWCA trip. If you’re
staying overnight you need food, a bear-bag or some kind of bear repellent to keep the food in, a tent (duh), and a way to filter your water which would be either a filtration system, iodine, or boiling your water.

You also need a mode of transport which could be on foot or in a canoe or kayak. Traveling through the BWCA can be very taxing on your body so you need to make sure to drink enough water and eat good and nutritious food. This will help with your energy levels and keep you going through the whole day.

Something else that is important to a successful BWCA trip is planning when you’re leaving and when you’re coming back, and then letting someone know. Since the woods can be a dangerous place if something happens to you and you don’t come back when you planned this person can let the authorities know.

Safety on the water is a vital part of a safe trip. If you’re choosing a canoe or kayak as your mode of transport then a life jacket and a paddle are two required parts of water travel.

You will also need sunscreen and bug repellent to stay safe from the sun and the bugs. Both are equally strong. And will bother you very much if you don’t do anything about it.

JOYSTiCK season finale: ‘Reigns: Three Kingdoms’ – 2,000 year-old Tinder dating

By: Daniel Kendle

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Welcome one and all to JOYSTiCK. No time for unfunny quips, we’ve got something more important on the docket – it’s the end! Not of the world, unfortunately, but the end of the first season of this little serial.

It’s been fun, honestly, and it’ll be nice to start up again next year. Whether I’ll be doing a season 2 or not is uncertain, but it’s been fun nonetheless. When I started in my journalism class I didn’t really know what to write about at first, and now, about 7 months later, we’ve reached the end.

There’s about a 50-50 chance I will or won’t do this again next year. I’ve been branching out into more types of content this semester, and it’s nice to have more of a mix of stuff to write about. To use a metaphor, the first semester was like a nice bowl of saltines, with the second a bag of Chex Mix. I mean, the saltines are good, no doubt!, but after a while you get a salty tang on your dried-up gums and it’s like you’re back in the Sahara or something. Meanwhile, the Chex Mix has lots of flavors, and you don’t get tired of eating it after a few minutes.

Dumb metaphors aside, I think that’s the future of my content: a mix of serial templates and random stuff I put out. I’ll write more down-to-earth, serious stuff like my UFO article, weird one-off projects like that gopher article, and JOYSTiCK. I think that’s a good outlook for my sophomore year of writing.

Anyways let’s move onto our final review, in which we’ll be discussing a mobile game! Yes, the toll booth ticketer that guards the entrance to the underworld has finally caught up with us, and it’s thirsty for the red Kool-Aid that pulsates through my organ structure. Thus is the life of a mobile game reviewer.

However, the game we’ll be discussing today is connected to another titan. A monolithic force that has skulked these ravaged lands for eons old and eons to come. It stalks these earthy plains with a taste of terror, with even whispering its name bringing a shudder of frosty fear.


Meandering aside, today we’ll be talking about the game ‘Reigns: Three Kingdoms,’ released by Nerial and Devolver Digital and published by Netflix in late 2022. The game is the fifth installment in the franchise.

Before we get into the meat-and-potatoes of this article, I’ll say that this’ll be a shorter and more laid-back review compared to our previous installments. Hopefully you take this in mind!


‘Reigns: Three Kingdoms’ is like dating on Tinder if a.) Tinder existed in 200 B.C. and b.) if Tinder was a viable way of dating.

That being said, you don’t date people in the game. The comparison is through the game’s main gameplay. Basically, the set up is that you are a test subject in a laboratory that is being repeatedly sent back in time to ancient China to…I guess become a conquering warlord? You basically interact with different ancient civilians, swiping left or right on their questions and statements to say different things in response, lowering or raising 4 meters in return. These meters, while never really stated what they mean directly, are likely representing Money, Intelligence, Militarism and Civilian Kinship. Some are raised or lowered one at a time, some choices raise or lower multiple. Some can be raised and some can be lowered at the same time, and some can be changed more harshly with certain decisions.

If one of your bars reaches the top or bottom then that’s your lose condition, as a skull will appear above and you’ll meet some fate related to your current situation. I liked this system overall; it was fun trying to balance all 4 while keeping up with the various mini-stories you’ll inevitably encounter. You also don’t get to see if your choice on a person adds to or subtracts from a meter, so that provides some more intrigue by not knowing if your action will be good or bad; you have to look at the person’s dialogue and choices to see if they’ll keep your bars in check.

Now it’s time we talk about combat. While playing you’ll accumulate various people in the form of cards that you can add to your party, and when you enter a story battle you’ll choose 4 to use against the opponents 4. Basically, you continue your swiping pursuits as you swipe left or right on your allies to have them attack the opposing team, in which eliminating a fighter will open up a number inside the circle you and the other team each make, where you have to get that number to 0 to win. Here’s a diagram to illustrate:

Your team is the lowermost one, and you have a certain amount of actions each round, starting out with 2 until going to 3. These battles don’t give anything to you, they just progress the story.

While gameplay isn’t that complex, it’s still fun. It definitely has the “mobile game-ness” that means its simplistic loops don’t have much to them in terms of how the user interacts with the game’s mechanics and controls. If I had to give some critique, it’d be that the actual fighting doesn’t really do much for me, and I feel like it would’ve been better if controllable. Like, you don’t fight super often and only when the story permits it, and I found it kind of forgettable in the long run.

That said, I feel that the game works well on your phone; since this game isn’t on other consoles I can’t really test it with a controller, though I feel like the game’s simple swiping mechanic is perfect for the platform of your phone. It’s good in that regard. So in the end, while gameplay isn’t the most complex or deep, it works well for the role playing structure it presents. Speaking of presentation…


‘Reigns: Three Kingdoms’ is perfectly fine in the regard that its graphics are…okay.

The game has a very geometric style, with rare rounded textures. This is cool, but the pictures of people are very simple, and after a while the artstyle get’s kind of dull, and somewhat dull to look at. Like, I get there not being much in the way of animation due to this being a digital card game, but the simple art doesn’t change over time or do anything very exciting; the consistency makes playing through the game a monotone experience.

Progression isn’t something that’s very prevalent in the game, with conquering the different regions coming through the different people you’re forced to interact with. However, the further I went into the game the more desensitized it got. I’m not a terrible fan of the game’s look, which is a bit sad.


Yeah, I told you it’d be short!

I didn’t have too much to say on this game; I just felt like promoting it. I had a solid time with it, and I felt like spreading the word about it.

Granted, part of me feels like this game isn’t as good as many of the other games I’ve reviewed. On the other hand, this game is much smaller and simpler in terms of gameplay than any others, being comparable to ‘Minecraft: Story Mode’ in terms of the amount of “playing” to do, with both being basically interactable stories with brief sprinkles of combat (not that this game is anywhere close to the former game’s lunacy).

Overall, I’m going to give ‘Reigns: Three Kingdoms’ N/A/10, since it’s so different compared to my other entries here that I can’t really put it alongside other JOYSTiCK games. I enjoyed most of the other games more, but this game isn’t trying to be a deeply-woven system of gameplay and progression. It’s trying to tell a story. This is similar to the same mindset behind ‘Minecraft: Story Mode’ in that it’s not comparable to other games. Granted, I gave that game a bad review because the thing that made it not comparable to the other reviewed titles sucked.

Now, this is normally where we’d end the article and wish you a good day, but not this time. THIS time we’re going to be ranking all of the JOYSTiCK games, and see which comes out on top. I mean, how else am I going to get my weekly sellout quota? What’s next, donating to those in need? (laughs). Anyways, let’s begin, starting with the worst and ending in the best.

And as I’ve explained above, I can’t really rank ‘Reigns: Three Kingdoms’ alongside these others, but if you’re curious, I enjoyed it more than ‘Minecraft Dungeons.’


7. ‘Minecraft: Story Mode’ (3/10)

Winner of the “Most-Likely Cause of Skin Disease” Award

Yeah, this game still sucks. Like, keep in mind that I was being dramatic in the holiday special when talking about having a midlife crisis when first playing it, but it’s not like it’s gotten much better.

Granted, I would like to say that I find ‘Minecraft: Story Mode’ as more of a fun kind of bad, rather than a bad kind of bad, for lack of a better phrase. This game isn’t a ‘Pokémon Scarlet and Violet’ or ‘Destiny’ where playing is the same equivalent to carpal tunnel, but more like reading a cheesy romance novel. Like, yeah, it’s really dumb, but in a cute way! I’ve thought more about this game this school year than I have any other game on this list, so hopefully that paints the picture I’m trying to tell you. I have more to say and discuss about this weird title than all of my other entries.

6. ‘Splatoon 3’ (6/10)

Winner of the ‘Strangest Opening Monologue That Wasn’t About an Apocalypse’ Award

Aside from the skeletal remains currently in my garbage bin outside, there’s just so little I have to say about ‘Splatoon 3’ other than the obvious: it’s okay. For a number of games I’ve reviewed I’ve changed my opinions on them later, and this is one of them.

I know a lot of people love these games, but I find the hectic gameplay dull, strangely-enough. When matches basically come down to the last minute of shooting ink and whatever, you can’t expect me to be engaged beyond my mind. It’s fine; I’ll pick it up again at some point, but whenever that may be, it’ll be a year or so until then.

5. [TIE] ‘Minecraft Dungeons’ & ‘Kirby and the Forgotten Land’ (7/10)

Winners of the ‘Games that Embody a Collective Pleasant Shrug’ Award

While I enjoy playing ‘Minecraft Dungeons’ more than ‘Kirby and the Forgotten Land,’ I’ll group them together because of their ranking reason, in that they’re good games with a number of small issues.

For the former, its main problems stem from simplistic gameplay and frustrating progression, and the latter’s awful UI, weird difficulty spike towards the end and forgettable level design. They’re both good packages overall, but definitely not the pinnacle games of their respective franchises.

On that note, another ‘Minecraft’ spinoff called ‘Minecraft Legends’ released exactly a month ago as of writing this, and might I say that it’s, like, amazing? I’m going to be reviewing it for sure, don’t you worry about it.

4. ‘Cuphead’ (7.5)

Winner of the ‘Most Aggressively Anti-Porcelain’ Award

This game’s great! I’m likely going to be roasted on a human-sized spit by the end of this school year because of the unfathomable concept of opinions, but I don’t think this game is a perfect specimen like many others do. Granted, the art-style is one of the best in modern gaming (ironically-enough), the combat is snappy, and the music SLAPS. But there’s always been some issues spawned from the game’s hand-drawn graphics and shooter gameplay rubbing against each other. Still, a work of art that (hopefully) no one attempts to shamelessly replicate.

3. ‘Pokémon Legends: Arceus’ (8)

Winner of the ‘Best-Playing pile of Sawdust’ Award

Yes, the graphics are bad. But honestly, this game is great, being the only previously-reviewed game that’s score has gone up over time.

The music? Great. The gameplay? Masterful. The deformed animal designs? Deformingly-strong. Overall, it almost makes up for November 18, 2022, otherwise known as the day of pain by many across the globe, and otherwise otherwise known as the day ‘Pokémon Scarlet and Violet’ released. Haha, I love the feeling of burning flesh! That’s what I felt when being subjected to that piece of filth.

But anyways, I’m glad ‘Pokémon Legends: Arceus’ restored my faith in Gamefreak, at least for a little while.

2. ‘Wingspan’ (9/10)

Winner of the ‘Most Times I had a Desire for Birdseed’ Award

I like ornithology. Therefore, I like ‘Wingspan.’

What I love about this game is that it’s decidedly a “calm” experience. Out of all the games on this list I find myself going back to this indie title due to its more serene qualities, and I find that important in gaming. It feels like we always get games that are very flashy, very dramatic, but it’s nice to have a complex system of challenge in a kinder experience. A title that rewards relaxation and serenity.

1. ‘Metroid Dread’

Winner of the ‘Most Times I’ve Asked Myself “Why Didn’t This Win Game of the Year at the Game Awards 2021?”’ Award

‘Metroid Dread’ is the oldest review I’ve done, and also the one that I remember the least about. At least, besides it being a masterpiece.

The first mainline ‘Metroid’ game in 19 years was obviously going to be at least a bit good, but man, THIS great? Like, I don’t think it’s as good as ‘Super Metroid’ but got very close on a handful of occasions that made me know that this was a masterful title that deserved all the praise in the world. While not my favorite game, it is decidedly the best game of JOYSTiCK’s 2022-2023 season.

…and that’s all I have for you this year. Minus one more article before summer, this is it for now. It’s been great having an outlet for all of my opinions and whatnot, and whether I do this all over again or begin a new serial or series, it’s been great fun having you along for the ride, disembodied viewer o’ mine.

Thanks for reading, have a good day, and for now, I think it’s time I step out of the spotlight and back into the shadows.

‘Pan De Budín’ recipe

By: Pablo Contreras

Pan De Budín is just bread pudding, and this is what this recipe is, but it’s just a Mexican version of bread pudding from the United States.

This is my grandma’s recipe and this was an easy and hard process; it didn’t have a lot of steps so that was a plus, the outcome didn’t come out the way that I expected, but it was still fun making this.

Beware this recipe does require you to use your hands and if you don’t like touching raw dough with your hands then use gloves before beginning.

Pan de Budín

Here are your ingredients:

  1. 2 Piloncillos (cane sugar cones)
  2. 1/2 of water
  3. 4 pan dulces (can be purchased at Mexican markets and bakeries)
  4. 1 stick of cinnamon
  5. 1 1/2 of milk
  6. 3 eggs
  7. 1 tablespoon of baking powder
  8. 1 cup of vegetable oil
  9. 1/2 cup of raisins
  10. 1 tablespoon of vanilla extract

Here are your steps:

  1. In a pot, put in 1/2 cup of water, add in the 2 piloncillos, and 1 stick of cinnamon, and put it on the stove on medium heat
  2. Wait for the piloncillos to fully melt down and then turn off the stove and take out the cinnamon stick
  3. And now we wait for the honey mixture to cool down

Here is how to make the dough:

  1. in a big bowl put in the 4 pan dulces and tear them apart into small pieces
  2. Add in the 1 1/2 cups of milk, 3 eggs, 1 tablespoon of baking powder, 1 cup of vegetable oil, and the 1/2 cup of raisins
  3. Then mix it all up with your hands
  4. Once it’s all mixed up and it’s a dough texture cover the bowl with plastic and let it cool in the fridge for about 1 hour
  5. Take out the dough from the fridge and mix in the honey that we made earlier with the dough, after that, cover the bowl with plastic again and put it in the fridge for an hour
  6. After an hour find a square baking pan and cover it with non-stick baking spray (don’t use a lot, only a little!!! – this will cause it to be flat), take out the dough and spread the dough all around the baking pan
  7. Now set the oven to 380, once the oven is fully heated put in the bread for 35 minutes
  8. After the 35 minutes take out the bread and let it cool down (if it’s not ready leave it in for a little more)
  9. Now that the bread is fully cooled down cut yourself a piece and grab a scoop of ice cream (if you have any) and place it on top of your slice and enjoy 🙂

Slaying, both literally and metaphorically: A review of ‘M3GAN’

By: Bijou Kruszka

Warning: Spoilers for ‘M3GAN’ and discussions of murder ahead.

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A classic staple of horror films is creepy dolls. From Chucky to Annabelle, there seems to be something particularly horrifying about dolls, especially if they become animate. ‘M3GAN’ introduces a new doll with a fun, modern AI twist. But does the titular M3GAN live up to her predecessors?

Released in January of this year, ‘M3GAN’ follows a little girl named Katie, sent to live with her aunt after her parents are killed in a car crash. Her aunt, who is more technologically savvy than motherly, creates a doll named M3GAN. M3GAN seems like she can do everything, from teaching Katie about the world around her to comforting her in times of emotional turmoil. However, M3GAN’s devotion to Katie is a little too strict, and she begins to murder anyone who wrongs Katie.

Before the movie was released, ‘M3GAN’ already captured the attention of the internet. The trailer, which was mostly formatted like a normal horror movie trailer, was interspersed with clips of M3GAN doing a dance. The dance was so tonally different from the other clips and background music that it was very comedic. The clips immediately went viral, and people were wondering if this was a weird mistake or a marketing ploy.

The trailer, despite its strange comedic feeling, ended up being a perfect preview of the film. This movie is hilarious, and it knows it. The dance scene is the most iconic for sure, as it feels just as out of context in the movie as it was in the trailer. Immediately afterwards, M3GAN kills two people and leaves the building in a red sports car. But, this is not the only funny moment. The comedy is pretty consistent throughout. It opens with an incredibly satirical toy commercial for “Purrpetual Petz,” a toy advertised to outlive you.

My personal favorite moment of the film happens shortly after Katie witnessed a boy that bullied her get pushed out into the road and killed by an oncoming car. She asks M3GAN if he’s in a better place. M3GAN responds “No” and then sings a slow acapella rendition of Sia’s “Titanium” to comfort her. This film knows that it is camp, and takes advantage of it at every turn, making it a thoroughly enjoyable watch.

This movie also has a very good emotional core built into it. The relationship between Katie and her aunt is strenuous, to say the least. But there are a lot of tender, heartfelt moments between the two that make you root for them, despite Katie’s irritating immaturity and the aunt’s incompetence at caretaking. While the “woman can’t balance her career and family” trope is a tired one, this movie does a good job of proving that the aunt can be both focused on her career and still care for Katie, despite her stumbles along the way.

However, it doesn’t exactly work as a horror movie. There are 4 deaths in the movie total (plus a dog, but that one isn’t graphic and I prefer to pretend that part doesn’t exist). But because the movie is focusing on campy comedy so much, it doesn’t really generate much fear during the suspenseful moments. That’s not to say the deaths aren’t gruesome, but if you’re looking for something spine-chilling, ‘M3GAN’ is not your movie.

In the end, ‘M3GAN’ is an enjoyable watch. Its camp comedy cements it as a classic, despite only being released for a few months. It’s a great film to watch with friends, especially if you’re looking for something a little bit darker. If you’re looking for a super-scary horror movie, this isn’t your film. But if you want something with both murder and humor, ‘M3GAN’ is for you.

Minnesota state parks

By: Tasha Cudinski

In Minnesota there are a total of 66 state parks. All state parks have fees for renting campsites or entering the park. In Minnesota the entrance fee is $7 for a day pass or $35 for a year round pass. Camping sites are about $20-$25 a night depending on what type of campsite it is.

The first state park established in Minnesota is Itasca State Park, established in 1891. Itasca is the state park that protects the lake at the head of the Mississippi River, and is the third most visited state park in all of Minnesota. The most visited state parks are Gooseberry Falls, followed by Fort Snelling and then Itasca state park.

The state parks all have lots to do. All state parks have beautiful views of nature and miles of hiking trails to explore, and some even have the option to do activities like boating, fishing, or even swimming. From the rushing waterfalls at Nerstrand and Interstate state park, to the beautiful sandy beaches of the St. Croix River at Afton state park, every state park has something different to find and something new to see.

Minnesota’s state parks are scattered all over the state, but the five state parks closest to St. Paul are: Fort Snelling, Afton, William O’Brien, Interstate, and Nerstrand. All of these parks are less than 60 miles away from St. Paul and would be a good option for a day trip to explore the park. So if you are looking for something to do this weekend, you might want to consider visiting one of these state parks.

For more information, please visit:

Jack Harlow album review

By: Nagad Omar & Sophie Johnson

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In this writing we will rate the new Jack Harlow album ‘Jackman’. This album came out just last month on April 28, 2023, and it is the third studio album that singer and rapper Jack Harlow has released. The style and genre of this album is very hip hop. The album as a whole, as well as the songs on it, are already a big hit with many of his fans and other listeners.

This album has a total of 10 songs with a length of 24:03. The whole album overall got generally positive reviews averaging with a score of 67/100.

The first song we are reviewing is called “It Can’t Be”. This song has a lot of nice bass in it and the vocals are especially good. Some of the songs on this album are not our favorite but this is one of the better ones we’ve heard. The beat is a little repetitive but overall, this song is a 7/10.

The next song is called “Blame On Me”. We would rate this song a 6/10 because there is not as much of a melody. It’s not a bad song but there are definitely better ones on the album.

Another song on this album that we reviewed is called “Is That Ight”. In our opinion, this song sounds the same as most of the other songs on the album. It is another 5/10. Once again, this song is not a bad song, but it’s not the best we’ve heard.

The next song off of Harlow’s new album, ‘Jackman’ is called ‘”They Don’t Love It”. This song was released as a single for the album. We would rate this song a 6/10. The beat of this song is pretty good and the song overall is not bad.

The next song on the album is “Ambitious”. The lyrics of “Ambitious” are great but we don’t like the sort of mellow beat. The chorus felt repetitive and long. The verses are definitely strong but feel like spoken word sometimes and less like pop music. We rate this song a 6/10.

The next song is “No Enhancers”. We really like the chorus of this song and the repetitiveness. It’s just enough but not too much. The lyrics flow really well and it feels like the normal pop music Jack Harlow makes. The beat is great and doesn’t feel as mellow as others. We rate this song a 8/10.

The next song we will rate is “Denver”,our favorite song on the album. The beat and flow of this song is unmatched. The chorus is great and the melody and flow of Harlow’s voice all match up perfectly to create this masterpiece. The opener of the song is great and sets the tone before the beat at the beginning comes on which we love. This song has no flaws. We rate this song a 10/10.

The last song we will rate is, “Gang, Gang, Gang”. This song was Harlow’s biggest song on the album, but really because of the content of the song. In this song Harlow talks about one of his buddies who allegedly raped 7 girls in the back of a Target parking lot. He also talks about his other hometown buddie who is accused of molesting a 10-year-old. This is very different from what is usually in his music, but the bigger story in this song is how much people change when he revisits his hometown and how hard it is to believe. We rate this song a 8/10.

Overall, this album is different than what Jack Harlow usually puts out. This was more deep of an album than Harlow puts out normally. His past album, “Come Home the Kids Miss You” was more rap and pop whereas this album is more mellow and Harlow tells stories in each song. The lyricism in this album is different then what we usually get. In the last album, Harlow had big features such as, Drake, Pharrell Williams, Justin Timberlake and Lil Wayne, whereas in this album there are no features. All in all, this album might not be for everyone but this album has better reviews than his last. We rate this album a 8/10.