Category Archives: Entertainment

Starbucks holiday drinks review

By: Norah Hoglund

Starbucks has recently come out with their holiday drink selections for the year! They have quite a few options, so I decided to test them in order to give insight on which ones you should try this year.

The drinks I tried were the Carmel Brûlée latte, the Peppermint Mocha, the iced Sugar Cookie latte, and the iced Gingerbread Chai.

Review

Caramel Brûlée latte:

This drink was, in a word, unremarkable. I liked the drink, but there was nothing that stood out about it. I didn’t really taste a lot of caramel in the drink, though I did like the caramel bits on top of it. It just tastes like a normal latte because the flavor is so mild. I would rate this one a 6.5/10.

Peppermint Mocha latte:

This drink was very flavorful. It tastes exactly like how you would think a Peppermint Mocha should taste. You can distinctly taste the peppermint and the chocolate, which are equally balanced. There is also a good balance of coffee flavor, though if some people like a stronger coffee flavor they might want to get an extra shot of espresso in this. Overall, it’s a great drink, and I rate it 8.5/10.

Iced Sugar Cookie latte:

This drink was not very sweet. The sugar cookie flavor is there, but it’s not a very good flavor. It doesn’t really remind me of a sugar cookie and it kind of just tastes bland. It definitely tastes like coffee, and the syrup isn’t sweet enough to balance out the bitterness of the coffee. I rate it a 4/10.

Iced Gingerbread chai:

This drink was probably my favorite one that I tried. It has a distinct gingerbread flavor, and it is nice and sweet. The gingerbread flavor is very reminiscent of Christmas. It comes with cold foam on top, which always takes the drink up a step. I rate this drink a 9.5/10.

JOYSTiCK Reviews Ep. 20A: ‘Pokémon Legends: Z-A’ – Nuclear Winter and You

By: Daniel Kendle

(Wind blows).

Oh, hello there. It’s me: Mr. Whatshisname. Come sit; my fire’s got enough kindling for another few hours.

You may be wondering why I’m currently sitting in an abandoned Tim Horton’s, holding my hands out to a campfire as green-tinted snow falls around us. Me too! It’s honestly funny how the government tried to hide incoming nuclear fallout from us until the very moment of its conception. Or at least it would be, except for the fact that my cutting knives are made from melted squirrel teeth.

Still not convinced of the nuclear apocalypse’s existence, huh? You recognize that tall, warped monument off in the distance? Eiffel Tower. Boom. Yeah, things have gotten kind of out of hand since the Super Weapon went off. I mean, how did I even get to France in the first place? I live in Minnesota.

Actually, the Super Weapon itself actually was the Eiffel Tower. The monument was secretly designed akin to a giant energy ray, one that shot up into the sky and then down again. This blast caused all this: the snow, the wreckage, the biped horses, everything.

Y’know, this whole thing’s a bit of a coincidence. Just over a month ago the newest mainline game in the ‘Pokémon’ franchise was released, also taking place in a region inspired by France. It’s all I’ve been playing since the apocalypse began. Oh, you’re wondering Why I’ve been playing on my Switch 2 in the midst of a fallout zone? Well now, (chuckles) it’s not like I can lug my Xbox around with me, now can’t I?

But that’s enough preamble. As the embers in front of us slowly wither and die, I thought it’d be fitting to log one last game for this serial before, uh, dying. So without further ado, it’s time to answer this: is ‘Pokémon Legends: Z-A’ a maverick title in the franchise, or does it succumb to the plights of gameplay reinvention and flop as a result? As always, let’s find out.

. . .

4 logs remain.

Let’s begin with an overview of the game as a whole. ‘Z-A’ is a real-time action RPG taking place entirely within a single city in the ‘Pokémon’ world, known as Lumiose City. You play as a tourist who recently moved there, taking up residence in a hotel as you compete in the nocturnal Z-A Royale to prove your strength. Alongside this venture is a quest to solve a mystery plaguing the town involving the ephemeral Mega Energy.

For this review we’ll have multiple chapters: Gameplay, New Pokémon Designs, Graphics, and Music. Hopefully this’ll help keep things on task; the cold’s been numbing my brain, weakening it as a result.

PART 1: GAMEPLAY

This is easily the most extensive section to discuss. The main differentiator between ‘Z-A’ and past ‘Pokémon’ games comes down to its new real-time battling system. The first for the mainline series, this change comes with a bevy of new adjustments to past features from the turn-based system of old.

Battles, whether with wild Pokémon, NPC trainers or other players, function the same: you start by throwing out your selected Pokémon, then use a mix of 4 moves assigned to the A, B, X and Y buttons. Every move in the game has a cooldown period dictating when you can use it. Already here we have a big difference from past combat: PP (Power Points) used to show how many times you could use a move. Now you can use a move indefinitely, with the cooldown balancing PP’s removal.

Your companions aren’t the only ones fighting, though: YOU do too! At all times you and your current Pokémon can run around the battlefield, allowing you to dodge attacks. This is another example of the real-time effect in action: now, dodging attacks doesn’t rely on moves’ accuracy percentages, but your physical maneuvering.

In fact, most past battling components have had their functionality factored. Status ailments don’t whittle down your team members per term, instead over a period of time. For example, poison doesn’t deplete health at the end of each turn, but instead every few seconds your Pokémon’s on the field. “Trap” moves, like Fire Spin and Whirlpool are similar, where instead of dealing damage each turn, they now occupy a space on the floor temporarily, lowering health of any who step inside them. The list goes on, but one thing remains certain: this new battling system is foreign to past entries of the series, and it’s highly-commendable in that regard.

While you could easily zone out in prior titles, ‘Z-A’ instead keeps your focus constantly, a mark of praise that shouldn’t go without overlooking. This reimagined system is among this game’s biggest strengths, and a reason why this game is so replayable. We’ll discuss that latter point a bit later, though.

But what can you do with this new system? Well, aside from ranked online matches, an in-game use for battling is the Z-A Royale, another staple of playthroughs. In universe, these are nighttime tournaments held in Battle Zones where trainers defeat other trainers, gaining points for promotion matches to raise their rank. The overall objective is to climb from rank Z to rank A, becoming the best of the best.

In action, these are simple, but well-designed events. Upon entering one, you’re forced to skulk around, locating other trainers and – hopefully – surprise-attacking one with your Pokémon. Doing so catches them off guard, giving you an advantage. This rule goes both ways, however – if an NPC catches you unawares first, you’ll be stunned momentarily. After engaging each other, a battle commences, with the winner gaining medals (collectibles that translate to in-game currency at night’s end), and points. Gain enough, and you’ll be given a ticket for your promotion match.

Dotted throughout Battle Zones are also cards with varying objectives to complete, such as catching opponents unawares or using a super effective move. Upon doing so an X amount of times, you’ll be given more points and medals, potentially speeding up your time in zones.

Overall, Battle Zones are wildly-fun to mess around in. Levels of your enemies scale per rank, giving you fair fights no matter your place in the main story. They facilitate the short, snappy battles well, and continue being fun both during the campaign and in post-game. A highlight of the game for sure.

The other type of zone, as well as the last main part of gameplay are Wild Zones. In the story, an influx of wild Pokémon into Lumiose City has caused their creation, allowing trainers to catch them within “natural” habitats (at least, as natural as the Parisian skyline allows). Progressing through the campaign opens more Wild Zones to players, allowing them new Pokémon as a result.

These are a much more controversial aspect of ‘Z-A,’ from what I’ve gathered. While most offer a decent amount of vertical depth, the majority of zones are pretty small and inconsequential compared to the routes of past games. You’ll usually only find a handful of monsters in each zone, making them quick to clear out. Some also have stout layouts, stout enough to where you can explore them pretty fast. There’s 20 overall, so while I can’t expect everyone to hit right, I wish they wouldn’t range in quality so frequently. Also, the fact that they all take place in the city makes them blend together quickly. Sewers, architecture and weather can sometimes help, but there’s not a zone in the game that forgoes containing buildings and streets. A missed opportunity for variance, in my opinion.

I like Wild Zones in concept, but their execution leaves a lot to be desired. They don’t hinder gameplay, but their linearity leaves me longing for the larger landscapes of old. They’re far from bad, but calling them good still leaves a bad taste in my mouth. That, and this squirrel meat.

Forgot about me freezing to death already? Hope not; that kind of leaves the serial’s past 20 episodes a bit of a waste. Anyways, one of my logs is soon to burn out, so let’s wrap this section up soonish with some smaller features.

  • Cafés are common sights around the city, acting as optional locales for taking photos with your party members. While not super impactful in my playthrough, their inclusion is justified and respected. Not everything’s black-and-white, of course.
  • I seldom change my appearance in games when given the option, so buying outfits also wasn’t of much interest. Again: they’re cool. Just not my cup of tea.
  • The same catching mechanic from ‘Pokémon Legends: Arceus’ returns, giving you 360º control of throwing Pokéballs. Since that was a big feature of that game, I’ll ignore diving into it for the sake of time, considering it was translated about the same here. Still super fun, though!
    • Alpha Pokémon and Pokémon attacking you in general were also carried over, but for the same reasons as above I’ll leave it at that.
  • Lastly, there’s another large part of battling that we need to discuss, one which initially made its debut over a decade ago. That’s right, I’m talking about…

PART 2: SKY BATTLES MEGA EVOLUTION

3 logs remain.

As a mechanic, Mega Evolution doesn’t stray far from its namesake: in battle, a select handful of Pokémon can Mega Evolve, changing their physical form, stats, and giving a boost in strength. While there were many before, ‘Z-A’ has introduced a batch of new evolutions – 26, in fact!

Mega Evolution has also changed to abide by real-time battling. Mega Evolving is restricted to a set time limit, only able to be paused by retreating your Pokémon. A buff to the mechanic comes in the form of “C+” moves, though. All Pokémon are able to use their normal moves as C+ moves, giving them more power in exchange for some of your Mega meter. All Megas have their moves changed to C+ moves by default, staying that way until the time limit runs out.

Mega Evolution is a well-balanced mechanic, but who cares?! I’m an art student, so all I care about is whether their designs look like they can kill me or not. If you want to skip ahead of this chapter, go ahead: I’ll be bulletpointing my opinions on a handful of Pokémon designs here. If so, then let’s go.

  • I chose Totodile as my starter Pokémon, giving me later access to Feraligatr and – even later – Mega Ferligatr. This new design is controversial in how it changes the least from its original form, aside from a fin on its back turning into a giant fake jaw. When it chomps down, it gives Feraligatr the appearance of a giant Totodile, which is both really cute and sick. Some may hate it, calling it akin to Skibidi Toilet, but I honestly think it’s rad.
  • Mega Starmie is another debated-upon design, which I think is much more understandable. It’s the quintessential joke form, with the sole change being making the starfish’s legs longer. I’m usually not a fan of dumb designs made just for the sake of being dumb, but I won’t lie and say I don’t get a kick out of it. A textbook guilty pleasure design, in my book.
  • Mega Dragalge’s Pokédex entry (the franchise-wide catalog of every Pokémon species) states the following:

“It spits a liquid that causes the regenerative power of cells to run wild. The liquid is deadly poison to everything other than itself.”

See that first sentence? Well, for the uninitiated, you know what else causes the same?

Yup.

  • My favorite new Mega Evolution is easily Mega Malamar. The concept remains similar – a psychedelic, malevolent, upside-down squid – but turns them into a colossal squid mixed with a mad scientist/disco hybrid. It’s as raw as ever and among the best designs introduced; my favorite, definitely. Glad they revealed this guy pre-launch for marketing.

That’s about all the designs I specifically wanted to highlight, but obviously not the extent of my thoughts on this new batch. I’d say I generally enjoy the majority of new designs in this game, more so than most. That’s not to say there aren’t any stinkers, but still: a fine batch of new creatures.

. . .

Wow. What a thrilling couple of sections. You can tell I’m excited because of the monotone nature of my voice. It’s also how you can tell I’m slowly freezing to death, funnily-enough.

I think I need to rest. While only a couple sections in, I feel the need to rest my voice. I’ve been talking for so long, long enough to where I’m beginning to attract…predators.

(Wolves howl in the distance).

That’ll be all for today’s episode of JOYSTiCK Reviews. For now I need to figure out how to end these articles better…and how to survive this night.

“Will Mr. Whatshisname survive the frigid Paris night? Will he manage to enkindle a fire long enough to finish this review? And will scientists ever figure out how a Minnesotan high-school student managed to magically end up in France? Find out all of this and MORE in the next episode of “JOYSTiCK Ball Z.”

Fudge recipe review

By: Norah Hoglund

In my opinion, fudge is one of the best treats to make during the holidays. Almost everyone loves fudge and it’s great to share with friends and family.

I reviewed a fudge recipe from allrecipes.com.

Review

The taste of this fudge is really great. I would compare it to really creamy milk chocolate with a touch of marshmallow flavor. It is perfectly sweet and has a great balance of flavors.

The texture of this fudge is perfect. It’s very smooth and creamy. It melts in your mouth; it’s soft enough that you can either bite it or lick it. It will even start to melt in your hand. It is not grainy, like fudge tends to be a lot of the time if you mess it up.

The process of making the fudge is really not very strenuous. All you really need is one pot to mix it in, and that’s the only thing you have to watch. The process is just melting a bunch of ingredients together in a pot, which makes your kitchen smell amazing, and pouring it into containers.

Overall, I think that this is a great fudge recipe. It will impress everyone that you share it with and everyone will want more (It’s very addicting). I rate this recipe a 10/10!

Ingredients

  • 1 ½ cups white sugar
  • 1 (7 ounce) jar marshmallow creme
  • 2/3 cup evaporated milk
  • 1/4 cup butter
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • 2 cups milk chocolate chips
  • 1 cup semisweet chocolate chips
  • 1/2 cup chopped nuts
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Instructions

  1. Gather all ingredients. Line an 8-inch square pan with aluminum foil; set aside.
  1. Combine sugar, marshmallow cream, evaporated milk, butter, and salt together in a large saucepan over medium heat; bring to a full boil and cook for 5 minutes, stirring constantly.
  1. Remove from heat and add milk chocolate chips and semisweet chocolate chips; stir until chocolate is melted and mixture is smooth. Stir in nuts and vanilla.
  1. Pour into prepared pan; chill in refrigerator for 2 hours, or until firm.

‘Twilight’ chapter 3 summary and review

By: Ivy Dahl

Summary-

In chapter 3 of ‘Twilight’ Bella drives to school as usual on icy roads, which is a new weather characteristic of Forks, Washington. She’s surprised that she makes it so safely to school, given that she’s usually such a clumsy person with ice. This is resolved when she sees that her dad put snow chains on the tires of her truck after arriving at the school parking lot. This small moment of sweetness is interrupted by the loud sound of a car. She immediately turns to see a van swerving out of control towards where she’s standing. Before she can even react, she’s pulled underneath something heavy and hears the loud bang of the car crash. She looks up and sees Edward Cullen’s face. He was shielding her, laying between her and the car. This is very strange to her since just a moment ago she could recall him standing across the parking lot, staring at her in horror just like everyone else. A large crowd of her classmates gather around her, desperate to see if she’s okay and they begin to call 911.

Bella is rushed to the small town’s hospital with the other guy who was driving the out-of-control car. This is where she meets Edward Cullen’s father, Dr. Carlisle Cullen. He tells her she looks fine and that she’s lucky she wasn’t hurt worse, with which she responds that she was lucky Edward was next to her. He stiffens at the mention of his son being involved.

Afterwards, she notices Edward standing in the doorway of her hospital room. Bella immediately gets up and corners Edward in the hallway, questioning him about how he got to her in time and how he stopped the car. He dismisses her angrily, telling her that he was standing right next to her and adrenaline gave him the strength, and she must have just hit her head if she thought anything different. They both glare at each other before walking away. Her dad then drives her home where she has to make a call to her mom to stop her from freaking out about her accident. She falls into a restless sleep, still completely perplexed by Edward Cullen.

Review-

The third chapter of ‘Twilight’ adds major drama with Bella almost getting into a car crash and (yet again) intensifies the mystery of who Edward Cullen is. It also introduces some members of his family, who seem to be just as suspicious as he is and in-the-know of what’s really going on. I’d give it a 9/10. You can buy ‘Twilight’ on Amazon.

Pizza recipe and review

By: Nils Hilleson

This recipe will make 4 full crusts.

Ingredients:

  • 1 tsp yeast
  • 1 tsp sugar
  • 1/4 cup warm water
  • 2 cups warm water
  • 1 tb sugar
  • 1 tb salt
  • 1/4 cup olive oil
  • 830 grams bread flour

Steps for dough:

Add 1 tsp yeast, 1 tsp sugar and 1/4 cup warm water into a bowl and let sit 5 mins for the yeast to bloom.

Then add 830 grams of bread flour, 1 tb sugar, 1 tb salt, 1/4 cup olive oil and 2 cups of warm water.

Knead in mixer until slightly sticky, add more flour if needed.

Dough is ready if it can be stretched to see light through.

Cut into 4 balls (they last for up to 7 days in the fridge).

When you are ready to use the dough, put them in olive oil coated bowls; let rise for at least an hour.

Steps for making pizza:

Preheat oven (for an hour) to its hottest temperature (550) with a pizza stone inside.

Take a dough and stretch it into a circle.

Put sparse amounts of flour on the surface you’re working on. This way the dough will slide onto the pizza stone.

You can add toppings like: tomato sauce, mozzarella, parmesan, goat cheese, other cheeses, pepperoni, garlic sauce, and really anything that goes on pizza.

Review:

I thought the pizza turned out pretty good. I made a regular pizza with fake pepperoni and goat cheese, and a garlic cheese bread pizza. Both turned out pretty good but I preferred the garlic one since I’m not a big fan of the pepperoni or the goat cheese.

Getting the dough ready was the hardest part for me because I couldn’t really understand how to properly shape it. I think the crust was a little thick on the garlic one so I should’ve stretched the dough more while prepping the pizza.

It doesn’t taste as good as pizza from most actual pizza places but it’s still pretty good. The crust was thicker and the toppings weren’t distributed as well as I would have wanted. If you like Pizza Luce you may want to give this recipe a try. The garlic bread pizza was similar to one I get from there.

‘Monster High 13 Wishes’ movie review

By: Marina Yang

This is my review of the movie ‘Monster High: 13 Wishes’, made by Mattel Entertainment in 2013 and produced by Nerd Corps Entertainment. Our main characters consist of Howleen (our main character), Draculaura, Frankie Stein, Clawdeen Wolf (Howleen’s older sister), and Gigi Grant (genie), with small segments featuring other characters like Clawd Wolf (Howleen’s older brother) and his friends in a fright show.

This movie greatly speaks about the grip that greed has on one person, being shown in different ways like wanting popularity (mainly featured from Howleen), money, etc. Howleen is jealous of her older sister and brother being so “popular”, despite the title of that being outdated in high school; just well-known.

While Howleen and Clawdeen’s friends clean up in the attic they come across a genie lamp, rubbing it a couple of times to reveal Gigi, our genie assistance. Despite all the good of having a genie may be, Gigi wasn’t the only thing released, her evil twin sister, Djinni, has been summoned and will take over power all over again. Howleen blinded by the want of being popular may make that mission easier for her.

This movie is a “kids” movie I’d say, but it highly acknowledges the feeling of greed and a look into real life with the “need” to be popular and liked by everybody. That factor really enhances my opinion about this movie rather than just reminiscing about my past/childhood, as I feel at least popularity, or being liked by everybody, is a great factor in people’s lives somewhere in life.

Alongside the message and meaning of the movie, the visuals I’d say are very fashionable and cool for the castle inside of the genie lamp. This is a good film for anyone who is into fashionable films or just for a blast in the past.

My review on this would probably be a 4/5 because I like the message a lot, and feel a lot of people need to hear this and realize how you might lose yourself trying to build a fake you for recognition. It’s at a 4/5 though because I feel like they had better films than this, but this is still relatively good in my opinion.

‘Monster High 13 Wishes’ is free to watch on Plex, or with a subscription/rental on other streaming services.

JOYSTiCK Reviews Ep. 19: ‘DOOM: The Dark Ages’ – My Life as a Teenage Jester

By: Daniel Kendle

Hey everyone, welcome back to JOYSTiCK Reviews, the world’s finest video game series for anyone uninterested in actually learning about the topic efficiently. ‘DOOM: The Dark Ages’ is the anticipated 3rd game in the modern ‘DOOM’ trilogy, which from a bystander’s perspective likely revolves around kittens collecting balls of colorful yarn. In actuality, you play as the Doom Slayer, an inhumanly-powerful juggernaut set on both conquering all of Hell and maybe even raising some too, who knows.

But how effectively doth the player raiseth Hell? Haveth the franchise runneth dry after all these years? And how many of these “th” suffixes can I inserteth into this review before my editor yells at me? Well, this is JOYSTiCK Reviews, I am Mr. Whatshisname, and I can confidently answer 2 of those questions in due time, with the third pending. So without further ado, let’s taketh a look.

‘DOOM: The Dark Ages’ is the third entry in the recent ‘DOOM’ trilogy of games, seceding ‘DOOM’ and ‘DOOM: Eternal.’ The 3 games are interesting in that they all have fairly-distinct gameplay from one another, despite all being first-person shooters.

The minute-to-minute gameplay in ‘Dark Ages’ is what’ll be the main focus of this review, due to it also being the game’s main focus. Like past titles, the game is split into many different levels. They’re unlocked one-by-one, with a total of 19 to complete by the end of the campaign. The main difference between this new batch of levels from older ones is ‘Dark Ages’s’ focus on more open area design for its different chapters, delineating from older, more linear levels like in ‘Eternal.’

While the main moniker for the latter’s combat was “Rip and Tear,” the former instead relies on the mantra of ‘Stand and Fight.’ These more open areas, while maybe less tightly-packed with collectibles and enemies, propagate ‘Dark Ages’s’ new tagline for its combat. Demons are usually found in spread-out hordes, like troops in some medieval battle. Collectibles, like health and stamina packs, gold, and ammo pickups follow suit, though often remain solitary from each other. These choices promote the player to intricately-explore each level, probing it for loot instead of marching straight to the end flag.

With spaced-out enemies also comes new ways to bash their brains in, of course. The main addition is the Shield Saw, with which you can not only block incoming attacks, but also throw to cut through foes or activate grappling systems. This is a great addition to the flow of combat. If you think of shooting guns as your “A” method of attacking, the Shield works elegantly as a “B” option to close in on opponents. Since you’re able to both shoot and throw the Shield at the same time, you’re able to effectively multi-task killing demons, which always feels awesome. A truly great feature indeed.

The shield introduced another staple of the game: parrying. Upon attacking, most enemies will briefly display a bright green light, meaning they can be parried. Unrealistic, sure (my uncle’s never glowed green when pouncing me for not mowing the lawn) but it gives some depth to combat outside of gunning down foes. The caveat to this is that parrying eventually becomes a bit dull, the player usually being able to confidently-master punishing every enemy’s attack. It’s a mixed bag of a system for sure, but a fun one still.

Guns are still great to shoot; their damage combined with the game’s sound design makes them all feel wonderful to wield. My favorite is the Ravager, personally: you grind up human skulls to fire out in a concentrated spread, with its speed increasing the longer you hold down the trigger. In addition, weapons can also be given unique effects that alter gameplay, though from my experience, not that much. Usually they require gold to unlock, but some “stronger” effects cost unique currency like Rubies and Wraithstones. That being said, these stronger modifiers still never broke past being cute novelties for me, so the grind to pay for them never felt super rewarding.

Aside from straight-up first-person shooting, there are 2 other central modes of combat: Atlan and Dragon segments. These are easily the most controversial of this game’s new additions, with some liking them and some not. Then, of course, there’s those who land somewhere in the middle – like me.

The dragon segments are the better of the pair. They usually take up an entire level’s space, unlike the Atlan segments who take up to only around half. You’re basically just given control of a draconian steed: you can fly, ascend up and down, and even shoot projectiles. They also come with their own parrying system, where you dodge green attacks by flicking the stick a certain direction, which increases your projectile damage for a short time.

These sections are pretty fun, in my opinion. What makes these segments more fun than Atlan ones are how the game’s enemies and objectives alter around it. To account for your new freedom in the air, enemy ships will appear that you have to chase down and shoot. The aforementioned dodging mechanic is another change. Finally, missions (level-exclusive objectives to be completed for rewards) vary when you’re flying. All these and more make the Dragon levels more distinct from regular shooting, and therefore more worthwhile.

Atlan segments I have less to say about, since there’s less to really examine. You take control of a giant mech, and fill up a meter by using different attacks. Then, you can unleash these more powerful moves for…more damage. I’m not really sure what the idea here was; it comes across as half-baked as a result of its simplicity. They’re fine, but take up space that I think could’ve been used for a more complex new system, or even just more FPS levels.

Overall, the gameplay in ‘Dark Ages’ is worthwhile in experimentation with the genre. That’s not to say every new idea works (it’s fallacious, honestly), but what does soars. While faulty in areas, it’s definitely a game whose systems you ought to try out for yourself.

Gameplay is easily the most extensive area to cover, so let’s rapid-fire through these next departments!

The graphics have taken a solid jump in polish since ‘Eternal’ in 2020. The move to the next generation of consoles likely aided in this, and I’ve seen a fair amount of character design comparisons between games subsequently. That’s not to say that newer hardware automatically improves art direction, but hey – it’s always a factor. The only true problem I have with the graphics is the lack of variety in environments: the game seems to have the term “Dark Ages” locked-in, as most landscapes primarily-consist of grays and browns. They’re still pretty to look at, but besides some late-game levels they’re all pretty homogenous.

The sound direction is an immediate hit, however. I mentioned it briefly before, but the punch of gunshots, tearing of flesh and impacts of melee attacks all combine to have the game drip with satisfying audio. It may seem simple, but that’s just because ‘Dark Age’s’ sound effects are so smoothly-implemented. This – and the rest of the modern ‘DOOM’ trilogy, really – are masterclasses in sound design and mixing in games.

The music’s more of a mixed bag. The composer for ‘DOOM’ (2016) and ‘Eternal,’ Mick Gordon, left after the last entry due to mistreatment by Bethesda. Their replacement, Finishing Move Inc., did the best they could but simply can’t compare to Gordon’s work on the last games. What we do have is still good, but c’mon: you can’t beat synthesized chainsaws as instruments. You just can’t.

I think that’s enough for today. We’ve covered a decent bit of ground, though this game’s intricate shooting left me wanting to leave some for you to find out about. Oh, what’s that? You thought I forgot about the game’s bosses? My apologies, but you must be mistaken; ‘DOOM: The Dark Ages’ took another creative liberty: replacing all but the final boss with planks of wood.

I do actually like the final boss quite a bit, despite being a bit underwhelming. The other bosses you fight throughout the campaign I found pretty dull, though, nothing worth discussing in depth. It’s here where parrying became its least compelling, truthfully.

Nonetheless, ‘DOOM: The Dark Ages’ is still a great time. Perfect? No, and there’s certainly objective problems to critique, but what I can praise is how the game delineates from what came before. It truly feels separate from the others, carving out its own identity through new gameplay ideas. I’m therefore giving the game an 8/10.

That’s all for today’s review, however. ‘DOOM: The Dark Ages’ is available now for PlayStation 5, Xbox Series X|S, and PC.