By: Collette Uran and Josephine Feliciano
“What are the 5 love languages?” you might ask, well they are quality time, physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, and receiving gifts. The five love languages are five distinct categories that are a concept to express and receive love through. Many different personalities of people find a place in these categories that fit their way of receiving love but some other people have a hard time identifying what category they belong too. There are many tests you can take that have questions to help identify what category you fit into, and many of these tests give what percent you are for each of these categories after going through the questions.
You might be wondering, “Why do people want to know what love language category they are in?” Well, for some people, it’s important for themselves to know because it creates a better understanding of how you receive affection and also how you give it. People that know and understand their love language type are able to communicate better in relationships and boost their connection with one another.
The top most scored love language type is quality time. If you are in this category then you feel most loved and valued when you are spending undivided, focused time with people. Being in the same room isn’t enough, you need to be spending time without distractions with the person. This can show up through times where you just sit and talk with each other or planning a special activity with one another
The love language physical touch is the second most scored love language out of the 5. Physical touch relies on physical affection like hugs, holding hands, and back rubs. If you’re in this category of physical touch you rely more on the safety of being held close or the closeness of holding hands. You feel most comfortable and connected through physical affection rather than just words or gifts. Safe physical touch releases a hormone that lowers stress and boosts the immune system so your emotions are more regulated.
Another love language is words of affirmation. Words of affirmation is the 3rd most scored love language out of the 5. If you’re in this category then it means you feel most loved and connected through verbal or written expressions of affection, praise, and appreciation. You are more sensitive to harsh words and compliments. You most likely value deeper conversations with other people and thrive on short meaningful compliments like “I’m so proud of you.”
The love language acts of service means you either receive or show love through practical things, like doing chores, finishing a project, or taking care of planning. A key thing to this love language is your anticipating their needs and doing it out of love, not just taking care of your chores because that’s your responsibility. It can be big acts, like a house project or planning a trip, or nice small gestures like making dinner or making their favorite coffee.
The least scored love language out of the five is receiving gifts. People in this category feel most loved when given gifts, small presents or trinkets. The thought that someone was thinking about them with a present, warms their heart and makes them feel loved even more. For most people the cost or money value of the gift does not matter, a small hand made gift or snack can have the same emotional value as an expensive item. To someone in this category a gift says, “I was thinking about you when I saw this,” or “I remembered you like this.”
Each of these 5 love languages are equally important and reflective of different personalities. Knowing your love language is important and personal, but if you’re still having a hard time figuring out what your love language is then that’s ok! It’s also important to know that your love language can change and differ between relationships.
Hope this helped you learn a little more about the 5 love languages and maybe help you figure out your own!
