Category Archives: Entertainment

Review of ‘The Wandering Inn’

By: Tasha Cudinski

‘The Wandering Inn’ is a web novel written by an author by the alias Pirateaba. ‘The Wandering Inn’ is about a young woman named Erin Solstice who gets stranded in another world. Erin is a young woman from Earth, she lives with her family and is getting ready to go to college. She is pretty happy, she spends time with her friends, and she plays chess which she is very talented at. One day, without warning, she finds herself in another world.

In this world, humans are just one of many sentient level species, and technology is still at the level of medieval times. This world also has: magic, monsters, classes, and Skills. Erin ends up stumbling upon a run down and abandoned inn, where she decides to stay.

The inn slowly gains popularity, as well as a reputation for insanity as there is almost always some kind of drama happening at the inn at all times. In most Isekai genre stories (stories in which a protagonist from earth ends up in another world) the main character ends up being some ultra powerful guy who can just punch all of his problems in the face, but Erin never ends up being a super powerful wizard, or a strong warrior, instead she becomes powerful via soft power.

Erin’s power is that she is a kind, and helping person who absolutely refuses to stray from her morals. Because of this, Erin meets goblins and necromancers and Antinium, all of whom are considered to be monsters. Most people see them as being incapable of anything but violence and have no qualms about treating them as the monsters they are perceived to be. Erin looks at them and decides to treat them like they are people, and because of this she ends up befriending all of those who have been scorned and hunted.

Over the course of the book, Erin amasses an army of friends, all of whom are willing to fight for Erin if she needs them to. While Erin’s story is the main focus of the book, it is not the only one, as she was not the only human from earth who ended up stranded in this other world.

As the story progresses, we meet more and more earthers and eventually they start meeting each other. While Erin managed to survive and make friends, many others were not so lucky and ended up dying before they could even figure out that they were in another world.

Overall, ‘The Wandering Inn’ is a fantasy genre story with slice of life and action as its secondary themes. Pirateaba is currently writing book nine. The books are well written and the story is engaging with almost no dull moments.

The main drawback of the book is its length. If you are looking for a book to read in a week, and be done with, then this book is not for you. The book has over 11 million words and counting.

‘The Wandering Inn’ is well written and well paced, with believable characters and world building, so if you are looking for something to occupy your time for a while, then ‘The Wandering Inn’ is a good choice for you!

‘The Wandering Inn’ can be read for free at its official website: thewanderinginn.com.

Best rides at Disney World

By: Sophie Johnson

Expedition Everest was one of the rides that I re-rode multiple times when I was in Disney World in December of 2021. This is one of the fastest roller coasters in the park. While on this coaster, you speed over mountains and through caves where BigFoot is lurking in the darkness.

This ride has some unexpected aspects to it as well, including when it appears to be a dead end with a broken coaster track. You creep up to the edge and then zoom backwards in the opposite direction.

I also loved this ride so much because it was night when I rode it, and right as we were rolling over the mountain, the firework show started and it was a very memorable moment.

The Twilight Zone Tower of Terror is a short but very gripping ride in Disney’s Hollywood Studios. This ride is based on the film series ‘The Twilight Zone’. It includes many surprising sharp turns and extreme drops. The Tower of Terror has windows that open to the outside and when you are suddenly dropped, you can see flashes through the windows of the whole Disney park. I love the anticipation of this ride and it was definitely worth the long wait in line.

Space Mountain is a thrilling indoor roller coaster in the dark. The theme of this roller coaster is outer space. While waiting in line for this ride, you walk through a dimly lit passage that mimics the inside of a spaceship. You can look out and see different stars and planets in the distance.

Once you get to the actual roller coaster, there are small, two person carts that zoom down a winding and spiraling track in the dark. The part of this ride that makes it one of my favorites is that you get very immersed in the experience. It is also exciting and scary because you can’t tell when the track will drop down really far or take a sharp turn.

AI-Generated art: What it is and why it’s harmful

By: Bijou Kruszka

Artificial intelligence: a concept that was previously confined to the realm of science fiction. Now, with the rise of programs like ChatGPT, it’s more of a reality than ever before. But what does it have to do with art, and the future of artists everywhere? A lot more than you’d think.

AI art generators are websites that, as their
name would suggest, generate art from simple prompts.
It has the user input a word or short phrase. Then, using
specific algorithms, it analyzes thousands of images and takes elements from each, creating a new “original” image. This process typically lasts about 5 minutes. From broad concepts to ultra-specific characters, AI art can tackle it all. While typically better at abstract landscapes than portraits, some of these outputs are shockingly good. Now, this technology is becoming more readily available.

While AI art generators have technically been in existence for years, they have really risen in popularity recently. With social media trends using AI art generator websites like Wombo Dream and Craiyon, AI-generated art is something that is now much more in the public consciousness. According to Google Trends, interest in the phrase “ai art” significantly spiked in December. Before, it was relatively obscure. Now, it seems everyone has tried these websites themselves. However, its newfound popularity has also created a lot of controversies.

While there is something to be celebrated in this progression of technology, there is also something to be worried about. When artificial intelligence can create art in a range of styles in a very short amount of time, where does that leave humans?

Why pay a human a large sum of money for something that takes hours of hard work when you could just type what you want into a generator online and have it produced 5 minutes later? The human artists were also the ones to create the art that is being analyzed by these robots, but they are given no credit in the final product, nor are they compensated for their art being used. They are stealing from artists, jumbling their pieces together, and trying to claim that it is original.

While the technology has its flaws, often not being able to produce a normal-looking hand or face, it still is dangerous for human artists, especially when these programs improve further. These generators are stealing content and endangering the jobs of all human artists, and will continue to do as it improves its algorithmic skills.

To combat the rising popularity of AI art generators, many artists online have risen. The #NoToAI tag is full of human artists discussing these issues and boycotting the generators, asking others to do the same. By protesting these websites, there is a possibility for change.

So, if you need art and are considering using artificial intelligence, reconsider and commission a human instead.

Best places to visit in Minnesota

By: Jessica Garcia Saligan

A place that would be great to visit is the black sand beach. The black sand beach is in Silver Bay, MN. It’s an awesome place to go if you want to go and take a road trip with your friends or family and explore.

You can also swim there and a fun fact about the black sand beach is that it’s not connected with Lake Superior. So, on how it’s not connected, the black sand beach is a lot warmer than Lake Superior.

This second place will blow your mind. Lutsen Mountains is a ski area, but there are other activities you could do. It’s a fun place to go with your friends and family if you would like to enjoy a great view. Some things you could do there during the winter is: skiing, snowboarding. snowshoeing, snowmobiling, and a lot more.

And in the summer, you could go hiking, mountain biking, or paddlesports.

The one thing that they are most known for is the summit express they have; you get to go through all of the mountains and you will get an amazing view.

Third place, is if you would like to have a get away with your friends or a significant other during the winter and summer; go to Grand View Lodge. Grand View Lodge is a hotel, but not like any other hotels. Grand View Lodge has so many activities to do during the summer and winter time; they have 5 hot tubs, ice skating rinks, and there’s over 70+ spa services.

One thing that most people go for, is for a dinner inside a heated snow globe. I think in the snow globe you can fit up to 4 people. It has fairy lights all around, and the best part is that it’s heated and it’s also separated from any other snow globe.

Best easy meals for teenagers

By: Lauren Kottke & Ella Sutherland

If you are a busy teenager looking for quick and easy recipes to satisfy your hunger, we have 3 easy recipes that you’ll love.

The first recipe is the famous Gigi Hadid spicy pasta. Gigi Hadid is a world famous model that has grown quite a big following over the past few months. Her recipe has become very popular. Personally, we love this pasta and we make it at least once a week. The recipe has a garlicky taste with the traditional tomato sauce.

The ingredients you will need is:

  •  1⁄4 cup of avocado oil
  •  1⁄4 cup of green onion
  •  1 tablespoon of minced garlic
  •  1⁄4 cup of tomato paste
  •  1⁄2 cup of heavy whipping cream
  •  Red pepper flakes
  •  Salt and pepper
  •  One box of penne pasta
  •  1⁄2 cup Parmesan cheese
  •  1⁄4 cup of pasta water
  •  1 tablespoon of butter

First you need to get a saucepan and skillet pan. In the saucepan fill it about halfway with water, and set on a stove top burner. Turn the heat on medium and cover with a lid.

While that is heating up, in the skillet add the avocado oil (you can use olive oil as well, we just personally like avocado oil better), the minced garlic, and the green onion. Mix that all together over medium heat.

Have the tomato paste ready because it heats up fast.

Once the oil starts to sizzle add in the tomato paste and mix that in with the garlic, onion, and the oil.

Once that is all mixed add in the heavy cream and mix.

Make sure you’re watching your water, because once it starts to boil add in your pasta.

To the sauce, add in the red pepper flakes, if you want little to no spice add a little bit, but if you want it to be more spicy add more.

Then add salt and pepper to flavor.

Turn off the heat and wait until the pasta is done. Once the pasta is done, save 1⁄4 cup of the pasta water before you drain it.

Add the butter to the sauce on low heat and stir.

Once the butter is melted add the pasta water and pasta to the sauce in the skillet. Add more salt and pepper to flavor and add the parmesan cheese. Mix all together, serve, and enjoy!

The next easy recipe is overnight oats. Overnight oats have started to gain popularity on the social media platform, TikTok. They are great for an on the go breakfast, especially if you don’t have time in the morning to cook breakfast. There are many different ways to make this, but over this school year we have perfected this recipe.

The ingredients that are needed are:

  •  One half cup of oats
  •  One half cup of oat milk (can use regular milk too)
  •  3 tablespoons of chia seeds
  •  3 tablespoons of honey
  •  1 dash of vanilla extract
  •  1 tablespoon of cinnamon

To start this recipe you will need a mason jar (or any cup with tinfoil). In the mason jar add the oats and milk. Stir those together.

After that, add in the chia seeds and cinnamon. Mix that all together until you can see the cinnamon and chia seeds are spread out throughout all the oats.

Next add the honey and vanilla extract and stir.

Once all the ingredients are in and mixed together, cover with the lid or tinfoil, and leave in the fridge overnight.

In the morning, cut up a banana and put on the oats and add granola if desired. You can add any topping that you like, those are just the ones that I add.

Serve and enjoy!

The last, and final recipe, is a salmon rice bowl. This one we have been making for a while now and is a little more complicated because of the salmon. It is a quick dinner and is great with leftover salmon.

Ingredients that are needed are:

  •  Salmon (thawed)
  •  2 tablespoons of soy sauce
  •  1 tablespoon of Dijon mustard
  •  A pinch of salt and pepper
  •  1 tablespoon of lemon juice
  •  1 tablespoon of garlic powder
  •  2 cups of white rice
  •  1 whole avocado
  •  1 pack of seaweed chips

First thaw the salmon for 1 hour.

Then in a bowl, mix the soy sauce, mustard, salt and pepper, lemon juice, and garlic powder together.

Start the rice in an instant cooker or a stove top.

Marinate the salmon in the combination of ingredients.

Put the salmon in tin foil and let sit for 20 minutes.

Put the salmon on a pan and heat in the oven at 375°, until the internal temp is 150°.

Once rice and salmon is finished, put down the rice in a bowl and mix up the salmon with the rice.

Next cut up the avocado and lay it on top of the rice and salmon.

Lastly, scoop the rice, avocado, and salmon into the seaweed and enjoy!

Those are just a few of our favorite recipes that are quick and easy. If you make these we hope you enjoy it!

The evolution of Jack Harlow

By: Hannah Gliedman and Nagad Omar

Growing Up

Jackman Thomas Harlow, was born on March 13th, 1998 in Louisville, Kentucky. Born to Maggie and Brian Harlow, Harlow was raised on a horse farm with his younger brother.

It wasn’t until Harlow was 12 that he discovered the art of rapping. Harlow was surrounded by music while growing up but wrote his first unofficial rap in elementary school. His rap was geared towards the kids in his grade that bullied him for his eye patch.

By the time he was 12-years-old Harlow had made up his mind that rapping was what he was destined to do, even asking his mom “How do I become the best rapper in the world?”

Harlow was around music quite a bit growing up, his mother introduced him to bands like Tribe Called Quest, while his father was more into country.

Jack released his first rap at 12-years-old which was recorded off of a microphone from the Guitar Hero game, and titled it “Ripping and Rappin” . Harlow gave out 40 copies of the CD to kids at his middle school selling them for $2 each.

Fame

After Harlow acquired a real microphone, he began creating songs and putting them online, and he started gaining recognition around his community. After playing a few very small shows with almost no one in the audience, Harlow started gaining fans and created more music.

His first mixtapes were called ‘Moose Gang’ and ‘Moose for the Death’. In 2015, while still in high school, Harlow released his first EP, ‘The Handsome Harlow’, which was followed with a more expanded 2016 mixtape.

Harlow was then signed to the record label “Generation Now” in 2017. From there he started to gain more recognition and started collaborating with bigger artists.

His 2020 EP, ‘Sweet Action’, featured artists like CuBeatz, PoohBeatz, and 2forwOyNE. Harlow’s major breakthrough came from the song “What’s Poppin”, which gained almost 700 million views on TikTok, peaked at #2 on the Billboard top 100, and gave Harlow his first Grammy nomination for best rap performance.

In 2021, Harlow and rapper Lil Nas X collaborated on the song “Industry Baby” that became his biggest hit yet. It peaked at #1 on the Billboard top 100 and became extremely viral on TikTok.

With songs under his belt, Harlow released his first full length official album titled ‘Come Home the Kids Miss You’ in 2022, including songs like “First Class”, “State Fair”, “Dua Lipa”, and “Churchill Downs”. In that album, Harlow collaborated with many known artists like Pharrell Williams, Justin Timberlake, lil Wayne and Drake.

Since then, and because of that album, Harlow has received many awards and recognitions. Harlow is continuing to make music and has also made brand deals with popular shoe brand New Balance and chip brand Doritos.

Harlow did announce he will be making his acting debut in the remake of the movie ‘White Men Can’t Jump’.

Awards

Harlow has been nominated for many awards like a Brit award for international song of the year, and a BET awards for best male hip hop artist. Harlow has also been nominated for 6 Grammys in the past 3 years for categories; best rap performance, album of the year, best rap song, best rap album, and best melodic rap performance twice. He has also won 4 MTV Video Music Awards (VMAs) for song of the summer with “First Class” and best visual effects, best art direction, and best collaboration all won from “Industry Baby” with Lil Nas X.

Harlow was also featured in Forbes “30 under 30” in 2022. Along with being named Variety’s “Hitmaker of the Year”. Jack was also the cover of Teen Vogue in June of 2022, and has gained fans for his charming looks and demeanor.

For more information, please visit:

‘Torrejas Estilo De Acapulco’ recipe

By: Pablo Contreras

Let’s start with what are torrejas?

Torrejas are just slices of bread that is dipped into a type of honey, they sort of are just like French toast where they both are pieces of bread dipped/covered in honey.

This dessert’s sweetness is definitely very interesting; it has a weird taste. It might be the fact that it’s made of cane sugar. I have never had cane sugar, but if you have had it, then this will be perfect for you.

I sort of liked this, the only problem I had was the sugar. I just wasn’t expecting it to taste like that. I don’t know if it was because it was super sweet or the fact that it was made with piloncillo, which is just a form of cane sugar for those of you who were wondering what a piloncillo is.

This recipe is not mine but it’s from Fernanda Berlei, you can look her up on YouTube where the recipe is. The video of this recipe is in Spanish, so beware if you don’t speak or understand Spanish. I translated the recipe here so that everyone can understand it.

Now, let’s get into the recipe:

Torrejas estilo de Acapulco
Now here’s a list of the ingredients that you are going to need:

  • 1 Bolillo (oval shaped piece of bread, like a baguette – only much smaller)
  • 1 cinnamon stick
  • 5 lime Peels (slice off 5 pieces of peel from a lime)
  • Half of a Piloncillo
  • 3 eggs
  • Vegetable Oil
  • 1 liter of water

Here are the steps to make the honey:

  1. First grab a big pot and add in 1 liter of water, 1 stick of cinnamon and 5 lime peels
  2. Next use your knife to cut half of a piloncillo, only put in half of the piloncillo in the pot
  3. Now put your pot on the stove on medium heat and let the piloncillo melt down

While we wait for the piloncillo to melt down here’s how to prepare the thing that we are going to dip our bread:

  1. First separate the yolk and egg whites into two different bowls
  2. Now in the bowl with the egg whites put in a pinch of salt and use a mixer to beat the egg whites until it’s a foamy texture
  3. When the egg whites are a foamy texture add in the egg yolks one by one slowly (Make sure to not mix them thoroughly just enough to spread the egg yolks everywhere)
  4. After you mix everything you should get a yellow foamy texture

Now onto frying the bread:

  1. On a pan, add in a lot of oil and wait until it’s heated
  2. While waiting for the oil to heat up grab your bolillo and cut the bread into small equal slices
  3. Next, grab one of the small bread slices and dip it into the yellow foamy mix (Make sure to cover the whole bread slice with the mix)
  4. Now that your bread is covered with the yellow foam, fry your bread
  5. Fry your bread till both sides are golden brown
  6. Once both sides are golden brown ,take your fried bread and place it on a plate with paper on it so it can absorb the leftover oil

Now to add the final touches to the bread:

  1. When the piloncillo is fully melted, keep it cooking for about 5 minutes on medium heat (don’t turn off the stove yet)
  2. Once the five minutes are up use a spoon to take out the cinnamon stick and the lime peels
  3. Now grab your fried bread slices and place them all in the pot with the honey that we made with the piloncillo
  4. Then turn off stove while leaving the bread in with the honey (Make sure all of your bread slices are covered in the honey
  5. Once the pot has cooled down take out the bread and enjoy

Here’s the link to the original recipe:

Brewing controversy amid Zach Bryan ticket sales

By: Abby Altman

Zach Bryan is a rising country singer who made himself known after posting videos on YouTube and TikTok, and rising in fame after releasing his single “Something in the Orange” in April of 2022. The song made its debut on the Billboard Hot 100 in May of 2022, and hit the top 10 in January.

In December of 2022, Bryan released ‘All My Homies Hate Ticketmaster (Live from Red Rocks)’, a live album recorded at a 2022 concert. With the album, Bryan released a statement against the large increase in ticket prices via Ticketmaster.

In late January, Zach Bryan announced the official Burn Burn Burn Tour across the United States. Bryan, previously expressing his disdain for Ticketmaster, scalpers, and tickets being resold at a higher resale value, utilized a ticket sales site called AXS.

AXS is a sports and entertainment ticket sales outlet, first deployed in 2011.

After announcing the tour, Bryan opened presale registration, with a $1 sign-up fee. Randomly selected fans were then notified several weeks later with the opportunity to purchase tickets, ranging from $40 to $156 at the absolute maximum.

Fans selected to purchase tickets received an email from AXS, which led to fans checking their inbox every 30 seconds for 3 days straight. Twitter, Instagram, Reddit, and TikTok are filled with fans expressing anger and sadness over “not getting the email”.

Along with using AXS, Bryan is not allowing the transfer of tickets to avoid reselling. The original purchaser of the ticket must be in attendance at the concert, with an ID matching the name of the ticket holder.

While the thought process behind the idea is sound, the resale policy has not stopped scalpers from trying. Tickets for the Burn Burn Burn tour have been appearing on sites such as VividSeats and TickPick for hundreds more than the original sale value. Zach Bryan and his organization have done everything in their power to try and make it clear; These tickets will not be accepted, and no refunds will be given.

Buyers selected to purchase tickets were first notified on February 14th through the 17th. For most concerts, fans were allowed to purchase up to 4 tickets, and for the concerts held at Red Rocks Amphitheater, fans were limited to 2 tickets per purchase.

While the random selection process worked just as Bryan had explained, many fans who were not selected were angry and spoke out publicly on social media.

During the selection process, Zach Bryan deactivated his Twitter account to avoid the harassment and hate. Shortly after tickets had been sold out, Bryan returned to Twitter saying “sorry guys had to avoid Twitter while the tour went on sale. I love you guys all so much and I’m so insanely happy and blessed.”

Bryan disappeared from social media once again a few weeks later after tweeting “Jesus, you guys have taken it out of me, see ya man, tried my best”. He reappeared 2 weeks later, but the complaints regarding ticket sales have not ceased.

Demand for tickets to see Zach Bryan in concert is much higher than the supply of seats to sell tickets to. Aside from adding more tour dates, there’s not much Bryan can do about the overwhelming number of fans who didn’t secure tickets.

Zach Bryan did exactly what he said he was going to do, in reducing ticket prices, eliminating scalpers reselling his tickets, and creating the fairest way possible for people to get access to his show. It’s understandable that those without tickets would be upset, but the amount of heat Bryan has received from upset fans is completely unwarranted.

The Burn Burn Burn tour will begin May 10th in Charlottesville, Virginia, and last until the end of August.

Top 10 Jelly Belly jelly beans

By: Caden Kipfmueller

Jelly beans. Who doesn’t love ‘em? Jelly beans have been around for a while, and though their exact origins are lost in time, they have been a staple in candy stores for as long as anyone can remember. Kicking off in popularity during the 1930s, these beans have been a favorite of many famous people, including Ronald Reagan. In honor of the jelly bean, we will be going through the top ten flavors out there.

10. Juicy Pear
Perhaps one of the most accurate-tasting jelly beans, Juicy Pear is well known for tasting exactly like what it sounds like. It’s an acquired taste, but many appreciate it for its authenticity and accuracy.
9. Piña Colada
If you like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain then this jelly bean is for you. The Piña Colada jelly bean is fruity and proud of it. Unfortunately, it doesn’t taste great if you eat too many, which is why it isn’t higher.
8. Chocolate Pudding
One of the most underrated jelly beans, Chocolate Pudding has a deep, rich flavor. Unfortunately, it looks exactly like a variety of lower quality beans, and so jelly bean enthusiasts often mistake them for other types.
7. Strawberry Cheesecake
Known for its distinctive pink and red speckle, Strawberry Cheesecake is the type of bean everyone, young or old can enjoy. If only there were other cheesecake flavors!
6. Kiwi
There’s not much to say about Kiwi. It’s just good. 9/10 would recommend.
5. Buttered Popcorn
Easily the most controversial bean on the list, Buttered Popcorn is a savory choice even though most other jelly beans are sweeter. It’s not for everyone, but you may be surprised if you give it a chance.
4. Coconut
One bite of this bean transports you to the beaches of Hawaii, surrounded by palm trees. Perfect for any occasion.
3. French Vanilla
So good it makes you actually believe it’s from France.
2. Blueberry
This bean is so good it might as well actually replace the blueberry.
1. Caramel Corn
This bean is mind blowing. Many claim eating it is an out-of-body experience. It’s a travesty you can’t buy it individually, because the rest of the beans taste bland compared to this.

Fun facts about gophers

By: Daniel Kendle

Here are some fun facts you probably didn’t know about gophers (Geomys Bursarius). Gophers are animals within the family Rodentia, and are mammals. They are small, prairie dog-sized creatures that are primarily herbivores, living in long complex tunnels. But now, here are some more interesting facts.

  1. Gophers generally go about their tunnels backwards, not forwards. This is because they can then use their small tails to help find their way throughout their tunnels, mainly because they live solitary lives most of the time. Their tails are only 3-4 inches in length.
  2. Gophers have poor eyesight and hearing. They instead have an acute sense of touch, using both their paws and whiskers in tandem in order to navigate their way around.
  3. Gophers can operate human technology with relative ease. Gophers are secretly possessive of 2 thumbs, one on each of their hands. This allows them to be able to hold various objects, such as a knife, doughnut, or stolen wallet. When one sees a gopher holding something with an opposable thumb, alerting a SWAT team is important.
  4. Gophers can smell blood from up to 200 miles away. It is common knowledge that some sharks can smell blood in the water from a good distance away. But gophers also have this trait, and they have a much more refined sense of smell. Whenever trekking in a place known to have gophers, it is common sense to bandage-up any cuts.
  5. Gophers are known to use their lips to clear out dirt. More specifically, their lips have evolved to close behind their incisors in order to prevent dirt from entering their throat and mouth.
  6. Gophers have the ability to understand human speech. Specifically, English. Through hearing many a talk from passing humans whilst they reside in their tunnels, they’ve begun the process to speak to humans. Of course, the only language they’ve been able to master is Klingon.
  7. Gophers love playing video games. Specifically, their 3 favorite games are ‘God of War: Ragnarok,’ ‘Halo ODST,’ and ‘Jeopardy!’ for the Wii.
  8. Gophers can be milked. The act of doing so is quite complicated, almost deserving of its own article (I will never write this), but to summarize, holding 2 fingers to its back and gently petting it will cause it to regurgitate Gopher MilkTM, which can be made into various dairy products. While this is an endangered practice nowadays, those who’ve taken part in consuming some cheese of this substance remark that it tastes much like Whale MilkTM. This is because, obviously, gophers and whales are very close cousins on the evolutionary tree.
  9. Gophers are incapable of digesting Taco Bell. While some may think this is a disadvantage, the trait proves to be beneficial to them. In fact, it is proven that this is a case of convergent evolution alongside humans.
  10. Gophers are incapable of doing the laundry. Hey, I think my mom wrote this…
  11. Gophers are rumored to exist on another plane of reality than us. This is a likely theory due to the fact that gophers often exercise the practice of dark magic, what with drinking goat blood and whatever.
  12. Gophers are mammals. If you didn’t know this before, then I’m concerned for your wellbeing.

Well, I hope you’ve learned something new about gophers! Tune in next week where we talk about the world’s hottest, most attractive mammal around, the naked mole rat.

[THIS WRITTEN DOCUMENT HAS BEEN SEIZED BY THE FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION.]

*Note: If you didn’t pick up on the sarcasm in this article, we need to inform you that yes, this was a satirical article.