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JOYSTiCK Reviews Ep. 19: ‘DOOM: The Dark Ages’ – My Life as a Teenage Jester

By: Daniel Kendle

Hey everyone, welcome back to JOYSTiCK Reviews, the world’s finest video game series for anyone uninterested in actually learning about the topic efficiently. ‘DOOM: The Dark Ages’ is the anticipated 3rd game in the modern ‘DOOM’ trilogy, which from a bystander’s perspective likely revolves around kittens collecting balls of colorful yarn. In actuality, you play as the Doom Slayer, an inhumanly-powerful juggernaut set on both conquering all of Hell and maybe even raising some too, who knows.

But how effectively doth the player raiseth Hell? Haveth the franchise runneth dry after all these years? And how many of these “th” suffixes can I inserteth into this review before my editor yells at me? Well, this is JOYSTiCK Reviews, I am Mr. Whatshisname, and I can confidently answer 2 of those questions in due time, with the third pending. So without further ado, let’s taketh a look.

‘DOOM: The Dark Ages’ is the third entry in the recent ‘DOOM’ trilogy of games, seceding ‘DOOM’ and ‘DOOM: Eternal.’ The 3 games are interesting in that they all have fairly-distinct gameplay from one another, despite all being first-person shooters.

The minute-to-minute gameplay in ‘Dark Ages’ is what’ll be the main focus of this review, due to it also being the game’s main focus. Like past titles, the game is split into many different levels. They’re unlocked one-by-one, with a total of 19 to complete by the end of the campaign. The main difference between this new batch of levels from older ones is ‘Dark Ages’s’ focus on more open area design for its different chapters, delineating from older, more linear levels like in ‘Eternal.’

While the main moniker for the latter’s combat was “Rip and Tear,” the former instead relies on the mantra of ‘Stand and Fight.’ These more open areas, while maybe less tightly-packed with collectibles and enemies, propagate ‘Dark Ages’s’ new tagline for its combat. Demons are usually found in spread-out hordes, like troops in some medieval battle. Collectibles, like health and stamina packs, gold, and ammo pickups follow suit, though often remain solitary from each other. These choices promote the player to intricately-explore each level, probing it for loot instead of marching straight to the end flag.

With spaced-out enemies also comes new ways to bash their brains in, of course. The main addition is the Shield Saw, with which you can not only block incoming attacks, but also throw to cut through foes or activate grappling systems. This is a great addition to the flow of combat. If you think of shooting guns as your “A” method of attacking, the Shield works elegantly as a “B” option to close in on opponents. Since you’re able to both shoot and throw the Shield at the same time, you’re able to effectively multi-task killing demons, which always feels awesome. A truly great feature indeed.

The shield introduced another staple of the game: parrying. Upon attacking, most enemies will briefly display a bright green light, meaning they can be parried. Unrealistic, sure (my uncle’s never glowed green when pouncing me for not mowing the lawn) but it gives some depth to combat outside of gunning down foes. The caveat to this is that parrying eventually becomes a bit dull, the player usually being able to confidently-master punishing every enemy’s attack. It’s a mixed bag of a system for sure, but a fun one still.

Guns are still great to shoot; their damage combined with the game’s sound design makes them all feel wonderful to wield. My favorite is the Ravager, personally: you grind up human skulls to fire out in a concentrated spread, with its speed increasing the longer you hold down the trigger. In addition, weapons can also be given unique effects that alter gameplay, though from my experience, not that much. Usually they require gold to unlock, but some “stronger” effects cost unique currency like Rubies and Wraithstones. That being said, these stronger modifiers still never broke past being cute novelties for me, so the grind to pay for them never felt super rewarding.

Aside from straight-up first-person shooting, there are 2 other central modes of combat: Atlan and Dragon segments. These are easily the most controversial of this game’s new additions, with some liking them and some not. Then, of course, there’s those who land somewhere in the middle – like me.

The dragon segments are the better of the pair. They usually take up an entire level’s space, unlike the Atlan segments who take up to only around half. You’re basically just given control of a draconian steed: you can fly, ascend up and down, and even shoot projectiles. They also come with their own parrying system, where you dodge green attacks by flicking the stick a certain direction, which increases your projectile damage for a short time.

These sections are pretty fun, in my opinion. What makes these segments more fun than Atlan ones are how the game’s enemies and objectives alter around it. To account for your new freedom in the air, enemy ships will appear that you have to chase down and shoot. The aforementioned dodging mechanic is another change. Finally, missions (level-exclusive objectives to be completed for rewards) vary when you’re flying. All these and more make the Dragon levels more distinct from regular shooting, and therefore more worthwhile.

Atlan segments I have less to say about, since there’s less to really examine. You take control of a giant mech, and fill up a meter by using different attacks. Then, you can unleash these more powerful moves for…more damage. I’m not really sure what the idea here was; it comes across as half-baked as a result of its simplicity. They’re fine, but take up space that I think could’ve been used for a more complex new system, or even just more FPS levels.

Overall, the gameplay in ‘Dark Ages’ is worthwhile in experimentation with the genre. That’s not to say every new idea works (it’s fallacious, honestly), but what does soars. While faulty in areas, it’s definitely a game whose systems you ought to try out for yourself.

Gameplay is easily the most extensive area to cover, so let’s rapid-fire through these next departments!

The graphics have taken a solid jump in polish since ‘Eternal’ in 2020. The move to the next generation of consoles likely aided in this, and I’ve seen a fair amount of character design comparisons between games subsequently. That’s not to say that newer hardware automatically improves art direction, but hey – it’s always a factor. The only true problem I have with the graphics is the lack of variety in environments: the game seems to have the term “Dark Ages” locked-in, as most landscapes primarily-consist of grays and browns. They’re still pretty to look at, but besides some late-game levels they’re all pretty homogenous.

The sound direction is an immediate hit, however. I mentioned it briefly before, but the punch of gunshots, tearing of flesh and impacts of melee attacks all combine to have the game drip with satisfying audio. It may seem simple, but that’s just because ‘Dark Age’s’ sound effects are so smoothly-implemented. This – and the rest of the modern ‘DOOM’ trilogy, really – are masterclasses in sound design and mixing in games.

The music’s more of a mixed bag. The composer for ‘DOOM’ (2016) and ‘Eternal,’ Mick Gordon, left after the last entry due to mistreatment by Bethesda. Their replacement, Finishing Move Inc., did the best they could but simply can’t compare to Gordon’s work on the last games. What we do have is still good, but c’mon: you can’t beat synthesized chainsaws as instruments. You just can’t.

I think that’s enough for today. We’ve covered a decent bit of ground, though this game’s intricate shooting left me wanting to leave some for you to find out about. Oh, what’s that? You thought I forgot about the game’s bosses? My apologies, but you must be mistaken; ‘DOOM: The Dark Ages’ took another creative liberty: replacing all but the final boss with planks of wood.

I do actually like the final boss quite a bit, despite being a bit underwhelming. The other bosses you fight throughout the campaign I found pretty dull, though, nothing worth discussing in depth. It’s here where parrying became its least compelling, truthfully.

Nonetheless, ‘DOOM: The Dark Ages’ is still a great time. Perfect? No, and there’s certainly objective problems to critique, but what I can praise is how the game delineates from what came before. It truly feels separate from the others, carving out its own identity through new gameplay ideas. I’m therefore giving the game an 8/10.

That’s all for today’s review, however. ‘DOOM: The Dark Ages’ is available now for PlayStation 5, Xbox Series X|S, and PC.

The “Seven Minute” heist

By: Charlotte Aver

(Image credit: Unsplash)

On October 19th in Paris, four “construction workers” entered the Louvre through a window and stole eight pieces of royal jewelry from the Apollo gallery. No one was expecting the heist and guests assumed it was normal to have construction workers around so it went by unnoticed, at first.

One piece of jewelry that was stolen was Napoleon’s wedding gift to his wife, which was a diamond and emerald necklace that consisted of 32 emeralds and 1,138 diamonds. They also stole Empress Eugénie’s tiara which was a diamond and pearl tiara, as well as her bow brooch. Empress Marie-Amélie’s jewelry set was also stolen; it was a sapphire and diamond diadem as well as earrings and a necklace. Another brooch was stolen as well. The crown that belonged to Empress Eugénie was stolen but dropped as the thieves made their escape it was recovered by officials at the Louvre. All of this that was stolen has a value of roughly 102 million dollars.

One of the suspects (male, age 34) was arrested before he was able to get on a flight to Algeria with no return ticket. They arrested him because he fit the description of who broke in based on firsthand accounts and his DNA matched the DNA on the scooter used for the getaway. He has yet to confess whether or not he was a part of the heist.

Another supposed suspect (male, age 39) was arrested at his home. They believe he was a part of the heist because his DNA is on the glass cases from which the jewelry was stolen. He also has a past record of theft and at the time of his arrest was working illegally as a taxi driver. He will continue to be detained, even if he was not a part of the heist due to his past involvement with illegal activities.

The third suspect (male, age 37) was arrested 10 days after the heist because his DNA was in the truck used to make it look like there was construction work and also in the basket lift used to get the thieves in the building. He denies any involvement with the heist.

The final suspect (female, age 38) to be arrested was also allegedly in the truck though her lawyer says she denies any involvement with the heist or the people who allegedly committed the crime.

The possibility of these artifacts ever being recovered is incredibly low due to the possibility that the jewelry has been boiled down to just jewels and alloy.

There is no known footage of the heist, unless a lucky tourist caught it on camera. The absence of video footage is due to the thieves hacking the system, but the Louvre is also partly responsible because the password for all of the security cameras was “Louvre”. So the thieves were clever but also the security system was weak.

This seems to be an incredibly odd freak incident considering that nothing has been stolen from the Louvre before this heist since the nineties. With this in mind there is also the fact that the Louvre is one of the most famous art museums in the world. Hopefully, this never happens again and everything that was stolen is returned in one way or another.

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‘Weapons’ movie review

By: Seng Nhkum

There are many horror movies, and this 2025 horror movie called ‘Weapons’ is very different from the rest.

Summary

‘Weapons’ is about one 3rd grade classroom where almost all the kids mysteriously go missing at 2:17 in the morning except for one child named Alex. This mysterious situation puts the small town into chaos.

The movie ‘Weapons’ shows many different perspectives of the characters in the situation, either how they were influenced, experienced, or how they were affected by the disappearance of the kids. The perspectives are a homeless person, the principal, the child Alex, the teacher of the class, a father, and a police officer. The ones who try to unravel the mystery of the disappearance are the teacher, a father, and a police officer.

Review

Overall, I rate’ Weapons’ an 8/10. I really liked how this movie showed multiple perspectives of the characters because this was the first horror movie that showed this, and it really shows details of the characters. Alex’s perspective really stood out to me because it showed his influence in the movie. For example we learn about how he ended up being the only kid that doesn’t disappear. How this happened was a twist that surprised me.

Also, I liked the suspenseful build up which made me scream because I didn’t expect things that were going to happen. I didn’t expect the jump scares.

You should definitely watch ‘Weapons’. The plot is very intriguing, and I also think you’ll like this horror movie too!

You can watch it on HBO Max and it is rated R.

Halloween costumes

By: Siri David

This Halloween there were a lot of really good Halloween costumes that I saw. Some of my favorites included Rio birds, Justin Bieber, and Serena and Blair from ‘Gossip Girl’. Now these were my favorite costumes that I saw but Halloween costumes and what’s popular change every year, so for this article I am going to be talking about what the most popular costumes were this season.

This season the top five costumes were all from the same TV show. The TV show is ‘K-Pop Demon Hunters’. This show is really popular among kids, and is the most watched TV show for kids as of right now. Rumi, Zoey, Mira, Jinu, and Baby Saja are in the order of popularity from one to five.

After all of these characters, Chicken Jockey from ‘Minecraft’ is the next popular costume.

After that it is Labubus. Labubus have become very popular among the Gen-Z generation, and can be found at lots of different stores.

Another really popular costume idea is Elphaba and Glinda from ‘Wicked’. This was seen with people of all ages, and with the new ‘Wicked’ movie coming out that makes this a lot more popular and exciting.

Overall, this Halloween we saw a lot of different Halloween costumes, some that were new ideas and some that were old ideas. Either way Halloween is a great holiday that allows people to be creative and express themselves and who they are in many different ways. A lot of the time people make Halloween out to be a holiday just for kids, but it is not. Halloween is for everyone. People just celebrate in many different ways whether it is trick-or-treating, going to parties, or being the one to hand out candy. Halloween is a holiday for everyone, and a great time of year.

Review on ‘10 Things I Hate About You’

By: Marina Yang

This is my review on ‘10 Things I Hate About You’. ‘10 Things I Hate About You’, is directed by Gil Junger, produced by Andrew Lazar, and written by Karen McCullah and Kirsten Smith. Our main characters consist of Bianca and Kat Stratford (sisters), Patrick Verona (acquainted with Kat), Cameron James (acquainted with Bianca) and the antagonist Joey Donner.

The movie is an early 2000s romance movie that revolves around two developing relationships with problems to overcome, inside the relationships and out. It all starts off with Cameron, who is a new student, who sees Bianca and crushes on her hard. There’s another thing though, she’s boy crazy for another dude named Joey. Also, Bianca is under a new rule where she can’t date unless her sister Kat is too. This seemed easy for Cameron to fix until he realized who her sister was, a total ‘loser’ who isn’t interested in boys or relationships. He ends up finding a fitting candidate for the job, of dating Kat, in Patrick.

I found this movie to be an emotional ride, it had its ups and downs, cringey moments and a little tears, but overall I found it pretty sweet. It has the old-school romance a lot of people romanticize and admire, really capturing the lover-boy and hard to get girl relationship dynamic.

Besides just the romance, it briefly covers the changes Kat goes through from middle-school to high-school, expressing the truth behind her “rebellious” act in the movie. Teaching people the importance and impacts of pushing yourself to fit into an/or someone’s image of you, and diving into something you’re not ready for. Which I feel is valuable to a certain crowd who dreams for a relationship, and romanticizes all the cute acts in these kinds of romcoms.

Though, I don’t think they truly know how differently this generation has changed over time, we’ve grown into a generation where it’s normal to ask people out via text or phone number, etc., not any love letters or devoting themselves through a song.

Besides that, I’d give it a 4.5/5. It’s good in my book, but I may just not have enough pages to really consider it a finalized product/book to truly read and believe. What I really like about this movie though is the ending, Kat says something truly heart-warming yet sad in the moment, showing how much she cherished the time they shared together.

You can watch ’10 Things I Hate About you’ on Netflix or Disney+, or rent it on other streaming services.

The Jamaican hurricane

By: Karl Salkowski

(Image created by ChatGPT)

On October 28th, 2025, a category 5 hurricane hit Jamaica. This was Hurricane Melissa, the strongest hurricane in Jamaica’s recorded history. Hurricane Melissa caused an incredible amount of damage, with economic losses totaling over 30% of Jamaica’s GDP.

Hurricane Melissa was identified as a Category 5 hurricane, making it the first of its kind to hit Jamaica. Officials have confirmed over 75 deaths across the Caribbean, with at least 32 in Jamaica. The hurricane caused massive damage to the island, with over 5 million tons of debris blocking roads and isolating communities, making it difficult for rescue teams to make their way through the island.

Although hurricanes hit Jamaica fairly frequently, none of them had this magnitude of destruction. Hurricane Melissa is the worst natural disaster Jamaica has ever faced. It displaced tens of thousands of people and caused major economic loss, projected to be over 4 billion.

Hurricane Melissa had sustained winds of 185 mph and a central pressure of 892 mb, making it one of the most powerful hurricanes to ever land in the Atlantic. Jamaica’s fisheries and agriculture were hit especially hard, with most being completely destroyed in the storm. The storm crippled Jamaica’s infrastructure, food production, roads, and power lines.

Jamaica received humanitarian aid almost immediately; food, water, and medical supplies arrived swiftly to the island from several global organizations. Due to the massive destruction of infrastructure across the island, it is projected to take years for Jamaica to fully recover.

Jamaica however has remained resilient, beginning efforts to clean and rebuild across the island. Tourism is incredibly important to Jamaica, as it is one of the largest parts of their GDP. On November 11th, 2025, Jamaica welcomed its first cruise ship to reach the island after the storm. This milestone is symbolic of Jamaica’s path to recovery as the nation adapts to Hurricane Melissa’s damage.

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Cranberry cheesecake bars recipe review

By: Norah Hoglund

Image generated with AI

The weather is getting colder, and that means it’s time for fall treats! The recipe I reviewed was for cranberry cheesecake bars from Somuchfoodblog.

You can find the recipe here.

Review

To start, the process of making these bars.

There was 3 different components in these bars: the cheesecake filling, the cranberry topping, and the crust. Managing all of these mixtures and ingredients can be a little bit tricky, and you have to clean up as you go to make room for the next mixture. It is time consuming to cook the cranberry topping over the stove.

Another inconvenience is that you need quite a few appliances to make this recipe, like a food processor, hand mixer, and stovetop. There is also a lot of uncommon ingredients that people would not usually have in their house, like ginger snap cookies and orange liqueur/Grand Marnier. These bars are not something you make randomly, it has to be planned and the ingredients and appliances have to be on hand. On the bright side, the ingredient list isn’t too extensive.

Although it is more complex than a lot of recipes, if you like baking, it’s quite enjoyable and it’s fun to assemble all of your components once they are done.

Next, the taste.

These cheesecake bars tasted very good. I really love the tartness of the cranberry and I also like how the recipe used ginger snap cookies for the crust instead of graham crackers, like most bars use. These bars are very meticulously made and they taste very gourmet. I think that the measurements in this recipe were just right, because nothing is overpowering and it all blends well together.

Overall, I give this recipe an 8/10. The ingredients and baking process were a bit of a challenge, but the taste made it worth all the work.