Why my cat is better than yours

By: Vivian S.

Listen, many people have cats, as they are one of the most common pets; however, in this article, I will prove to you that my cat is better than yours.

First of all, I have three cats, so I will be combining them all into one, to talk about all their best qualities. And yes, I know that seems slightly unfair, but when you have multiple cats, they all feel just like one embodiment of the meaning of cat. And if you do not have more than one cat to spend all your time on, what are you doing with your life?

Smokey

To begin, my cat has the softest, best fur to pet. It’s short and slightly fluffy, and so, so soft. You could stand around petting any one of my cats for an hour and not even notice the time passing.

My cat also has the best purr, and we all know that cat purrs are essential to life. As you pet her, you can feel the vibration of the purr. In that moment, you truly understand peace, serenity, and paradise.

My cat has the fluffiest tail. I don’t know why I’m including the tail as a positive trait, considering the cat constantly knocks things over with her tail and seems to have no control over it, but it is also very fluffy. You wish your cat had as fluffy a tail as my cat.

Smokey

My cat also curls up on my bed under my blankets. She will curl up into a ball, sometimes with a paw covering her head, and sleep. You have never known true fear until you have begun getting into bed and realize that you almost sat on the cat hidden beneath the blankets. And you have never known the heights of adorableness until you realize how cute they look peeking out from the covers.

My cat also sits on my lap when I watch television, which is the best time to have a cat with you. We will stare at the TV together in silence and dream together of taking over the world.

There is also one big advantage to having multiple cats, and that is seeing them curled up together. While it is rare to see the cats near one another, occasionally you will find two of them curled up side by side on a bed, and it is a sight that can’t be explained in words.

Mio

In conclusion, my cat is the best cat, and you wish that you had her. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go clean up cat poop.

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