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JOYSTiCK Reviews Ep. 20A: ‘Pokémon Legends: Z-A’ – Nuclear Winter and You

By: Daniel Kendle

(Wind blows).

Oh, hello there. It’s me: Mr. Whatshisname. Come sit; my fire’s got enough kindling for another few hours.

You may be wondering why I’m currently sitting in an abandoned Tim Horton’s, holding my hands out to a campfire as green-tinted snow falls around us. Me too! It’s honestly funny how the government tried to hide incoming nuclear fallout from us until the very moment of its conception. Or at least it would be, except for the fact that my cutting knives are made from melted squirrel teeth.

Still not convinced of the nuclear apocalypse’s existence, huh? You recognize that tall, warped monument off in the distance? Eiffel Tower. Boom. Yeah, things have gotten kind of out of hand since the Super Weapon went off. I mean, how did I even get to France in the first place? I live in Minnesota.

Actually, the Super Weapon itself actually was the Eiffel Tower. The monument was secretly designed akin to a giant energy ray, one that shot up into the sky and then down again. This blast caused all this: the snow, the wreckage, the biped horses, everything.

Y’know, this whole thing’s a bit of a coincidence. Just over a month ago the newest mainline game in the ‘Pokémon’ franchise was released, also taking place in a region inspired by France. It’s all I’ve been playing since the apocalypse began. Oh, you’re wondering Why I’ve been playing on my Switch 2 in the midst of a fallout zone? Well now, (chuckles) it’s not like I can lug my Xbox around with me, now can’t I?

But that’s enough preamble. As the embers in front of us slowly wither and die, I thought it’d be fitting to log one last game for this serial before, uh, dying. So without further ado, it’s time to answer this: is ‘Pokémon Legends: Z-A’ a maverick title in the franchise, or does it succumb to the plights of gameplay reinvention and flop as a result? As always, let’s find out.

. . .

4 logs remain.

Let’s begin with an overview of the game as a whole. ‘Z-A’ is a real-time action RPG taking place entirely within a single city in the ‘Pokémon’ world, known as Lumiose City. You play as a tourist who recently moved there, taking up residence in a hotel as you compete in the nocturnal Z-A Royale to prove your strength. Alongside this venture is a quest to solve a mystery plaguing the town involving the ephemeral Mega Energy.

For this review we’ll have multiple chapters: Gameplay, New Pokémon Designs, Graphics, and Music. Hopefully this’ll help keep things on task; the cold’s been numbing my brain, weakening it as a result.

PART 1: GAMEPLAY

This is easily the most extensive section to discuss. The main differentiator between ‘Z-A’ and past ‘Pokémon’ games comes down to its new real-time battling system. The first for the mainline series, this change comes with a bevy of new adjustments to past features from the turn-based system of old.

Battles, whether with wild Pokémon, NPC trainers or other players, function the same: you start by throwing out your selected Pokémon, then use a mix of 4 moves assigned to the A, B, X and Y buttons. Every move in the game has a cooldown period dictating when you can use it. Already here we have a big difference from past combat: PP (Power Points) used to show how many times you could use a move. Now you can use a move indefinitely, with the cooldown balancing PP’s removal.

Your companions aren’t the only ones fighting, though: YOU do too! At all times you and your current Pokémon can run around the battlefield, allowing you to dodge attacks. This is another example of the real-time effect in action: now, dodging attacks doesn’t rely on moves’ accuracy percentages, but your physical maneuvering.

In fact, most past battling components have had their functionality factored. Status ailments don’t whittle down your team members per term, instead over a period of time. For example, poison doesn’t deplete health at the end of each turn, but instead every few seconds your Pokémon’s on the field. “Trap” moves, like Fire Spin and Whirlpool are similar, where instead of dealing damage each turn, they now occupy a space on the floor temporarily, lowering health of any who step inside them. The list goes on, but one thing remains certain: this new battling system is foreign to past entries of the series, and it’s highly-commendable in that regard.

While you could easily zone out in prior titles, ‘Z-A’ instead keeps your focus constantly, a mark of praise that shouldn’t go without overlooking. This reimagined system is among this game’s biggest strengths, and a reason why this game is so replayable. We’ll discuss that latter point a bit later, though.

But what can you do with this new system? Well, aside from ranked online matches, an in-game use for battling is the Z-A Royale, another staple of playthroughs. In universe, these are nighttime tournaments held in Battle Zones where trainers defeat other trainers, gaining points for promotion matches to raise their rank. The overall objective is to climb from rank Z to rank A, becoming the best of the best.

In action, these are simple, but well-designed events. Upon entering one, you’re forced to skulk around, locating other trainers and – hopefully – surprise-attacking one with your Pokémon. Doing so catches them off guard, giving you an advantage. This rule goes both ways, however – if an NPC catches you unawares first, you’ll be stunned momentarily. After engaging each other, a battle commences, with the winner gaining medals (collectibles that translate to in-game currency at night’s end), and points. Gain enough, and you’ll be given a ticket for your promotion match.

Dotted throughout Battle Zones are also cards with varying objectives to complete, such as catching opponents unawares or using a super effective move. Upon doing so an X amount of times, you’ll be given more points and medals, potentially speeding up your time in zones.

Overall, Battle Zones are wildly-fun to mess around in. Levels of your enemies scale per rank, giving you fair fights no matter your place in the main story. They facilitate the short, snappy battles well, and continue being fun both during the campaign and in post-game. A highlight of the game for sure.

The other type of zone, as well as the last main part of gameplay are Wild Zones. In the story, an influx of wild Pokémon into Lumiose City has caused their creation, allowing trainers to catch them within “natural” habitats (at least, as natural as the Parisian skyline allows). Progressing through the campaign opens more Wild Zones to players, allowing them new Pokémon as a result.

These are a much more controversial aspect of ‘Z-A,’ from what I’ve gathered. While most offer a decent amount of vertical depth, the majority of zones are pretty small and inconsequential compared to the routes of past games. You’ll usually only find a handful of monsters in each zone, making them quick to clear out. Some also have stout layouts, stout enough to where you can explore them pretty fast. There’s 20 overall, so while I can’t expect everyone to hit right, I wish they wouldn’t range in quality so frequently. Also, the fact that they all take place in the city makes them blend together quickly. Sewers, architecture and weather can sometimes help, but there’s not a zone in the game that forgoes containing buildings and streets. A missed opportunity for variance, in my opinion.

I like Wild Zones in concept, but their execution leaves a lot to be desired. They don’t hinder gameplay, but their linearity leaves me longing for the larger landscapes of old. They’re far from bad, but calling them good still leaves a bad taste in my mouth. That, and this squirrel meat.

Forgot about me freezing to death already? Hope not; that kind of leaves the serial’s past 20 episodes a bit of a waste. Anyways, one of my logs is soon to burn out, so let’s wrap this section up soonish with some smaller features.

  • Cafés are common sights around the city, acting as optional locales for taking photos with your party members. While not super impactful in my playthrough, their inclusion is justified and respected. Not everything’s black-and-white, of course.
  • I seldom change my appearance in games when given the option, so buying outfits also wasn’t of much interest. Again: they’re cool. Just not my cup of tea.
  • The same catching mechanic from ‘Pokémon Legends: Arceus’ returns, giving you 360º control of throwing Pokéballs. Since that was a big feature of that game, I’ll ignore diving into it for the sake of time, considering it was translated about the same here. Still super fun, though!
    • Alpha Pokémon and Pokémon attacking you in general were also carried over, but for the same reasons as above I’ll leave it at that.
  • Lastly, there’s another large part of battling that we need to discuss, one which initially made its debut over a decade ago. That’s right, I’m talking about…

PART 2: SKY BATTLES MEGA EVOLUTION

3 logs remain.

As a mechanic, Mega Evolution doesn’t stray far from its namesake: in battle, a select handful of Pokémon can Mega Evolve, changing their physical form, stats, and giving a boost in strength. While there were many before, ‘Z-A’ has introduced a batch of new evolutions – 26, in fact!

Mega Evolution has also changed to abide by real-time battling. Mega Evolving is restricted to a set time limit, only able to be paused by retreating your Pokémon. A buff to the mechanic comes in the form of “C+” moves, though. All Pokémon are able to use their normal moves as C+ moves, giving them more power in exchange for some of your Mega meter. All Megas have their moves changed to C+ moves by default, staying that way until the time limit runs out.

Mega Evolution is a well-balanced mechanic, but who cares?! I’m an art student, so all I care about is whether their designs look like they can kill me or not. If you want to skip ahead of this chapter, go ahead: I’ll be bulletpointing my opinions on a handful of Pokémon designs here. If so, then let’s go.

  • I chose Totodile as my starter Pokémon, giving me later access to Feraligatr and – even later – Mega Ferligatr. This new design is controversial in how it changes the least from its original form, aside from a fin on its back turning into a giant fake jaw. When it chomps down, it gives Feraligatr the appearance of a giant Totodile, which is both really cute and sick. Some may hate it, calling it akin to Skibidi Toilet, but I honestly think it’s rad.
  • Mega Starmie is another debated-upon design, which I think is much more understandable. It’s the quintessential joke form, with the sole change being making the starfish’s legs longer. I’m usually not a fan of dumb designs made just for the sake of being dumb, but I won’t lie and say I don’t get a kick out of it. A textbook guilty pleasure design, in my book.
  • Mega Dragalge’s Pokédex entry (the franchise-wide catalog of every Pokémon species) states the following:

“It spits a liquid that causes the regenerative power of cells to run wild. The liquid is deadly poison to everything other than itself.”

See that first sentence? Well, for the uninitiated, you know what else causes the same?

Yup.

  • My favorite new Mega Evolution is easily Mega Malamar. The concept remains similar – a psychedelic, malevolent, upside-down squid – but turns them into a colossal squid mixed with a mad scientist/disco hybrid. It’s as raw as ever and among the best designs introduced; my favorite, definitely. Glad they revealed this guy pre-launch for marketing.

That’s about all the designs I specifically wanted to highlight, but obviously not the extent of my thoughts on this new batch. I’d say I generally enjoy the majority of new designs in this game, more so than most. That’s not to say there aren’t any stinkers, but still: a fine batch of new creatures.

. . .

Wow. What a thrilling couple of sections. You can tell I’m excited because of the monotone nature of my voice. It’s also how you can tell I’m slowly freezing to death, funnily-enough.

I think I need to rest. While only a couple sections in, I feel the need to rest my voice. I’ve been talking for so long, long enough to where I’m beginning to attract…predators.

(Wolves howl in the distance).

That’ll be all for today’s episode of JOYSTiCK Reviews. For now I need to figure out how to end these articles better…and how to survive this night.

“Will Mr. Whatshisname survive the frigid Paris night? Will he manage to enkindle a fire long enough to finish this review? And will scientists ever figure out how a Minnesotan high-school student managed to magically end up in France? Find out all of this and MORE in the next episode of “JOYSTiCK Ball Z.”

JOYSTiCK Ep. 16: ‘A Minecraft Movie’ – Jock’ the Block

By: Daniel Kendle

The ‘Minecraft’ movie, formally known as ‘A Minecraft Movie’, is a 2025 film released by Warner Bros. Pictures, Legendary Pictures, and Mojang Studios. Directed by Jared Hess (‘Napoleon Dynamite,’ ‘Ninety-Five Senses’), the movie is based off of the popular video game ‘Minecraft.’ 

‘Minecraft’ is my personal favorite video game ever, so I’ve been…curious about its silver-screen adaptation ever since it was announced, boosted by its initial trailer’s release last year. I’m also (straightens tie) a bit of a film buff myself, so that helps a lot. So, on opening night of this year, I showed up to an AMC screening of the movie, clad in a suit and my dad’s sunglasses, ready to enter the pits and emerge back alive.

The film’s plot is pretty basic, all things considered; if you’ve seen the modern ‘Jumanji’ films, then you get the idea: people are sucked into a video game, and have to find their way back home to the “real” world. This comparison isn’t necessarily a bad one per say, but I think it’s the beginning of an all-encompassing problem this film has: identity.

When adapting a piece of media into a feature film, one must decide how faithful the adaptation must be. This is a sliding scale, with past video game movies falling all over the spectrum. For me, the sweet spot is around the middle: the film encapsulates and faithfully translates the source material thoroughly, but brings forth its own ideas as to not feel like just a 1-to-1 replica of its predecessor.

This is where ‘A Minecraft Movie’ confuses me. The film seems to strive to land on both opposite ends of the line: it wants to be incredibly-faithful, yet also be a standalone product. The movie features countless references and Easter eggs to ‘Minecraft’ and its spin-off franchises – hell, the main villain is a character from one of those spin-offs. And yet, seemingly to spite this, the plot chosen for the film seems barely interested in telling a story reminiscent of ‘Minecraft’s’ emotions, atmosphere, and world building, instead using locations and creatures from the game on a surface level.

Throughout the movie, I was having a good time – a GREAT time, even -, but never really processed the experience as an adaptation of the game I love. I’ve heard how people couldn’t believe that they were finally watching the ‘Minecraft’ movie upon initial viewing. While this likely isn’t their opinion on that matter, I felt the same, though in a negative way. This movie doesn’t feel reminiscent of its source material in any way other than literally. Throwing all of these references and characters is one thing, but capturing the spirit and vibe of the game you’re adapting is another.

For me, ‘Minecraft’ is a game that relies heavily on its unique atmosphere for its magic. In a vacuum, I’ve always described it as tender, yet haunting – the world, despite its scenic vistas and cute mobs, has always had a looming sense of isolation that prevents it from joining ‘Stardew Valley’ and ‘Animal Crossing’ in the cozy game genre. But then again, its loose structure separates it from a game like ‘Terraria,’ another sandbox game that employs a more strict and linear progression system.

It’s so unique, and is among the game’s most beguiling offerings.

This movie reminds me of a quote by Max Brooks, author of the book ‘World War Z’ (and, like, 3 ‘Minecraft’ novels; go figure). When asked about his thoughts on the book’s screen translation, he said:

“I was expecting to hate, it and I wanted to hate it because it was so different from my book, and yet the fact that it was so different from my book made it easier to watch because I didn’t watch my characters and my story get mangled…So I was just watching somebody else’s zombie movie, which was fun and intense.” – Max Brooks, USA Today

This quote is about how I feel about ‘A Minecraft Movie:’ it’s a fun ride and I’m able to put aside the original title and enjoy it separately, yet when compared to its adapted game in retrospect, it pales in comparison. I was able to enjoy my time in the theatre, but I’ve largely filtered out my memories with it. It’s over, and I’ve gained little in the process.

If you haven’t seen the clips online by now (a near-impossible task, I know), this film has some memes going around about it. Since the initial teaser, lines like “I…am Steve,” “Flint and steel!,” and most-popular of all, “Chicken Jockey!,” have gained immense notoriety since their inception. These are only a few of the movie’s impressive array of joke-quotes. The film rattles them out at nauseum, as if it’s a 9-5 for it. I can certainly see their appeal, and do find them funny – to an extent. Their inclusions have left me in the opinion that they make the film feel…hollow.

This movie, in my opinion, is set to become dated with time. Not because it has any specific pop culture references or whatever, but because of what it stands for. This is the ‘Minecraft’ movie. Forever. There’s no going back. And when you have a film whose main appeal is ironic, topical humor, there’s little chance that we’ll be as kind to it then as some of us are now.

There’s nothing wrong with liking ‘A Minecraft Movie,’ of course. Everyone has their own opinions, and as long as you aren’t hurting anyone else with your’s it’s perfectly-valid. But nonetheless, I’d like to see a strong argument for the film’s portrayal of this universe as one reminiscent of the power the original one holds.

Actually, there is 1 I should mention. Hess has stated in multiple interviews how the film’s title using “A” at the beginning is intentional, highlighting how this adaptation is only 1 of many, the others being fan creations and the like. Using “A” defines it as not the definitive ‘Minecraft’ translation, but only a single story in an amorphous narrative, one able to be shaped by anyone. I greatly-respect this decision, and believe it to be a strong counter to my thoughts on the movie’s tonal dissonance.

Still, I can’t call this a perfect bandage. Even if Mojang claims to view ‘A Minecraft Movie’ as only a fragment in a sea of ‘Minecraft’-related stories, its nature eludes this idea. Having the creators of the game supporting and developing this feature ultimately undermines this mentality. If the people who made the game, a movie’s adaptation, and also helped aid the movie’s development, that action leaves it impossible for the game studio to not be partial to this retelling of their original game. Their commitment to ‘A Minecraft Movie’ doesn’t cement it as the definitive adaptation of the game for all, but rather Mojang’s definitive adaptation of the game.

This partiality strains the director and companies’ efforts in underplaying the product’s pinnicality, causing the final result to attempt to stray from the original material’s theming and world as much as possible without becoming something new. And when that result personally feels like a poor representation of the material…my time with it is ruined.

. . .

This is likely my most controversial review yet, and I’m aware of that. I’ve mainly focused on the movie’s – and my – relationship with the game, which makes this review ripe with some of that yum-yum bias that politicians always drool over.

You’ve also possibly noticed how I’ve never even mentioned the story, characters, or VFX once! It’s a surface-level complaint, see – this whole time, I HAVE been talking about those, just in a manner less-literal than you may have expected. Yeah (grunts while flexing), back in elementary school, they called me Mr. Whatshisname the Foreshadow-er, for what it’s worth.

In conclusion, I’m giving ‘A Minecraft Movie’ a 4/10. As of April 2025, the film is playing in theatres globally.

JOYSTiCK Non-Review: Will the Nintendo Switch 2 result in a 2nd US Civil War?

By: Daniel Kendle

*Note: The following is a satirical take on the release of Switch 2 teaser.

Photo of Elon Musk by Debbie Rowe via Wikimedia Commons

WASHINGTON, D.C. – On Thursday, January 16, Nintendo posted a teaser for a new upcoming console, alongside the company’s international affiliates. Roughly 2 minutes in length, the video showcased the Nintendo Switch 2: a successor to the soon-to-be 8-year-old system of the same name.

Notable for both its physical and internal upgrades, many astute fans of the original Switch have noted its needed – albeit simple – updates to its older brother. While controversies have risen due to these occasionally-minor changes, many have agreed upon feeling relief and excitement about the console’s acknowledgement. A follow-up direct, focused on software is slated for April 2, 2025.

Around the same time, however, came the inauguration of now-president Donald J. Trump, seceding the former Joe Biden. Also mired in controversy, the election’s collision course has coincided with the console’s public reveal, leaving some to connect the 2 in various ways – most of all, the Presidents.

“I saw [the trailer] the Friday after – yeah, it was cool,” said Trump, immediately following a press conference in Atlanta. “I was like, ‘Vance, did you see this?’ And he was like ‘Yeah,’ and we fist-bumped. I dunno, man […] but I thought the new Joy-Cons were sick. Larger, too. I was talking to Joe ‘bout it a week later; he was tripping too. Did these (gestures) hand…things. Yeah. I was like, ‘Hunter would love this,’ and he laughed, and agreed. Hunter loves Mario; he’s so cool.”

Now-former President Biden was also open to an interview.

“Donnie and I had gotten off a meeting when the trailer dropped; some real good [explicative]. I was less enthused at first, really: I saw Donkey Kong’s new redesign during the ‘Mario Kart’ segment and was like ‘Damn, this too?’ Then Trump came over to my place and we played ‘8 Deluxe’ for a while…felt good. Felt better. Kamala was excited, too – did a backflip over her desk. Favorite reveals? Shoot, uh […] like, maybe the, tch, backwards compatibility? Y’know, being able to play my Switch library at launch is a treat. Gotta do a run of my favorite, uh, Switch game: ‘Balan Wonderworld’.” (Note: immediately following the latter-most statement, former President Biden was lobbed in the head with a snowball).”

While these 2 men proved satisfied with the new system’s reveal, other political figures – including some close with the country leaders – were less than optimistic about the trailer.

“It’s [explicative], pardner,” said Elon Musk, in the process of bathing himself with the blood of a sheep when we interviewed him. “Jus’ trash all-‘round. I’m happy for…you know, I’m happy fer those excited, but like, really? After 8 years o’ buildup, we git some gall-darn magnets for them controllers?! Y’all need some bett’r standerds. Rattlesnake tumbleweed cactus.”

With the division with Trump’s republican cabinet apparent, some citizens question whether or not a feud will brew from inside – and possibly spill out into the rest of the US. It’s been close to 200 years since our country’s first Civil War, and in our current day and age, political events and conspiracies have led to heated debate between sectors of the 50 states.

Whether or not the Nintendo Switch 2’s existence will culminate in a new Civil War is yet to be said, but until then we can only speculate, both on the system and our country’s political affairs. Only 1 thing’s certain, however: if this new console has any form of Joy-Con drift again, I think the nukes are gonna drop.

The upcoming ‘Re:animal’ game

By: Julia Yang

Warning: This game will contain extreme gore, discomfort, breaking bones, bodies moving in unnatural ways, disturbing noises, and a variety of horror elements. This is a horror game being created for mature audiences.

Some may know about the ‘Little Nightmares’ franchise, but what if I told you that the same company was planning to make an even more terrifying, gory, unsettling, horrifying game?

This game I’m talking about is called ‘Re:animal’. Not much is known about this game as it just began its pre-alpha phase in August, but everyone who knows about it is absolutely psyched. ‘Re:animal’ takes the scary factors of ‘Little Nightmares’ and enhances them ten fold. ‘Little Nightmares’ was targeted to teens, so gore and terrifying stuff like that wasn’t really allowed, but ‘Re:animal’ is targeted to more mature audiences who are able to take that kind of horror.

In ‘Re:animal’ you play as a little girl— or a little boy! This game is co-op! You can be scared out of your mind with a friend, how thoughtful of them.

The story we know so far about the game is that you reside in an orphanage with all of your friends, but the orphanage— and overall world it seems like, is populated by monstrous animals. Animals like pigs with their guts hanging out, sheep with unnaturally long necks and legs like a spider, even possibly humanoids with animals for heads! Your goal seems to be to escape this dreadful area with all of your friends and make it out alive.

As I said before, this game isn’t holding back, unlike ‘Little Nightmares’. If you’re looking for a gory and disturbing game to look forward to, then ‘Re:animal’ is the game you’re looking for!

This game has not gotten any more news besides what I have said in this article, including the release date. Like I said, this game is still in its pre-alpha phase, so it will be a long while before it’s released to the public officially!

Soon, you’ll find it on the PlayStation 5, Microsoft Windows, Xbox Series X and Series S.

Announcement Trailer:

https://youtu.be/mUymvhAXOnM?si=BmJI_LInL4rkwOPn

10 minutes of Pre-alpha gameplay:

https://youtu.be/ou9THu2g3I4?si=jYJFABAppG2cJjKp

JOYSTiCK Reviews Ep. 12: ‘Tetris’ – Block Tuah

By: Daniel Kendle

Hey guys, welcome back to JOYSTiCK Reviews, and you know what I really hate? Climate change. But I’ve also taken a rather strong dislike towards popular games nowadays. So many terrible, terrible video games are coming out as of late, and unlike other poor saps who call themselves “gamers,” I’ve chosen not to lay down and take this blatant mediocrity.

‘Metroid Dread?’ Too scary. ‘Elden Ring?’ Too easy. ‘Dragon Quest XI S: Echoes of an Elusive Age – Definitive Edition?’ My mouth hurts. The only good video games as of recent are ‘PUBG’ and ‘Concord.’ Speaking of the latter, I was really sad the day it was announced it was being shut down after less than 2 weeks; I held a service for it and everything. Yeah, I missed my dog’s funeral, but it was a sacrifice I was willing to make (Much like my dog’s!).

That’s why I’ve been replaying old games lately, like today’s topic: ‘Tetris.’ Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve probably heard of the title. It’s one of the most popular video games ever, selling hundreds of millions of copies across dozens of platforms, and is still kicking around to this day.

But why is that? Has the game been updated throughout all these years due to it being a masterpiece? Or was this comically-large tracking device fastened around my leg because my opinions are, shockingly-enough, controversial? Let’s find out.

If there’s 1 word to define the game ‘Tetris,’ it’s this: “simple, yet complex” (math was never my strong suit). In my opinion, the game’s been in the public eye for the last few decades due to the notion of it being easy to learn, yet hard to master.

The gameplay’s simple in theory: players are given a tall grid, and 1 after the other, differently-shaped blocks fall from the sky, all being made up of 4 different cubes contorted into different shapes. Players can rotate, move, or speed up the block and its descent, eventually letting it settle along the bottom of the grid.

As the game progresses, a pile of blocks will form. Every time the player manages to get a vertical row of the grid entirely filled with blocks, it’s removed, and the pile shrinks in height. The point of the game is to try to last as long as possible without the pile overflowing, and to see how high of a score you can garner.

To bite the bullet, the game’s so great because of the diversity of each game. While I might be wrong about this, each game’s blocks are randomly-generated (except for select older editions of ‘Tetris,’ I believe). This means that there’s a virtually-infinite amount of ways a game can be played, as the 7 usable blocks’ different forms make strategic placement not just a necessity, but crucial in understanding the intricacies of the game.

The gameplay loop is short, but sweet, and this is why I think the game has that universal appeal. There’s no characters, no story, no wild controls, not even any slightly-abstract theming. It’s literally just blocks falling down. The closest the game has to surrealism is the fact that the blocks magically disappear when a row is formed, but that’s able to be construed by most as a game mechanic rather than a choice of world building.

Anyone, whether they’re 1 or 101 years old, can enjoy ‘Tetris.’ Its gameplay is perfect for what it is.

As it happens, the rest of the game’s experience is pretty good too!

The main musical theme of ‘Tetris’ might be one of the most iconic in gaming, and is definitely in my top 10 favorite songs of all time. Perfectly-melodic, beautiful, and wonderful, yet it has that bit of edge that makes each game feel tense. In fact, one of the best ways to describe ‘Tetris’ is through the word ‘dread.’ The combination of the slowly-falling blocks, foreboding, quick music, and knowledge of the consequences of misplacing your next move makes the game all the more engaging.

The graphics, while definitely not the game’s main point of praise, are still pretty good across the board. Since there are so many versions of ‘Tetris,’ it’s hard to properly articulate my feelings on its art style with specific notes, but I’ll try.

I think the game’s graphics have aged well, especially since the different developers for the games generally keep the blocky aesthetic intact for each version. Not that each version of ‘Tetris’ uses pixel art, mind you, but what I mean is that each edition still feels like the classic game from the 80’s: polygonal shapes with bright colors. There’s not a version of ‘Tetris’ with “hyper-realistic graphics” or anything of that sort (not that I’m opposed to it…I’ve been known to be fairly aroused by cubes in the past).

The visuals, in combination with the music, have both stood the test of time and are continually iterated-upon with each remake of the game. And overall, that’s how I’d describe ‘Tetris’ in a nutshell: a game that’s both able to retain its immortal charm, and yet still manage to iterate on its core concept. For example, ‘Tetris 99’ is a battle royale-style title exclusive to the Nintendo Switch that has 99 players pitted against one another. ‘Hatris’ is a much older example; a sequel of sorts to ‘Tetris’ that lets players stack…hats. And ‘Facetris’ is one of those games that, if you search it up, you understand why I’m omitting any details about it here (2 words: facial body horror).

…and I think that’ll do it for this review! ‘Tetris’ is a masterpiece, no getting around that. Its universal appeal is deserved, and expected based off of its simple, yet astronomically-fun gameplay. Combine that with stellar songs (or “song,” singular) and ever-changing graphical prestige, I’m very happy to award ‘Tetris’ with the coveted 10/10 rating, a rating I’ve only given out in this serial to 1 other game, that being ‘Metroid Dread.’ And just like ‘Dread,’ ‘Tetris’ is easily in my top 5 games of all time.

But now that that’s done and dusted, it’s time to wrap up for today. This little red dot on my ankle’s tracking device began beeping a bit into the review, and it looks like the police just outside my door – with an armed escort (Chuckles)! Oh well, glad to see someone remembered my birthday, even though it isn’t for…6 months.

But alas, that’s all the time we have for today. Thank you for reading this issue of JOYSTiCK, have a lovely October, and I’ve got a body to hide.

‘A Hat in Time’ review

By: Persephone Pond

‘A Hat in Time’ is a 3D platformer game released in 2017 and developed by an indie studio called Gears for Breakfast, and published by Humble Bumble. In this game, the player plays as a young girl called Hat Kid, who loses her fuel for her spaceship and needs to collect all the pieces to get home.

There are 4 different areas of the planet that these fuel pieces land on. Each area consists of 4-7 different levels plus a boss fight; each level gaining a lost piece of fuel until the player eventually collects all 40 missing pieces and are able to get back home.

The first area is a large town built around a volcano called Mafia Town. The enemies in this area are caricatures of stereotypical Italian mafia members, and while fighting through each level, the player gains more information about their backstory and how Mafia Town came to be.

The second area is a movie studio, where the player meets 2 rival directors fighting for an annual movie award. The first director, The Conductor, is a Scottish murder mystery director with a tendency to direct all his movies on trains. The second director is a disco themed penguin who strives for fame and only fame. Both characters recruit the player to act in their movies, so the levels in this area are more story driven.

The third area is the Subcon Forest, where the player is introduced to an evil spirit who is known by the name The Snatcher. When he steals the player’s soul, he offers contracts to do his dirty work around the forest for the soul to be returned. The forest is spooky and there are a few horror-esque levels in this area.

The final area is the Alpine Skyline. This is a beautiful landscape inhabited by giant goat creatures, who are cared for by smaller, humanoid goat creatures. The player must retrieve pieces of fuel from different areas that all require different skills, and through these levels the player is introduced to the dark lore of the land.

All of the levels in this game are creative and very well thought out, and the level of detail in each individual character’s story is wonderfully fleshed out. The author of this article fully recommends the game and on a scale of 10 stars, easily rates it a 10.

‘A Hat in Time’ is available on consoles such as Nintendo Switch, Xbox One, Playstation 4, and Microsoft Windows. In addition to the vanilla game, there are 2 DLCs available on all the same platforms. These DLCs add 14 total more fuel pieces to collect, and add a higher difficulty to the game if desired, and add 2 new areas to the planet with wonderful stories and characters.

HOW TO GET ALL ‘ACE COMBAT 7’ “ACE” SKINS

By: Hoaseng Thao

‘Ace Combat 7: Skies Unknown’ is a video game made by Bandai Namco, and if you’ve ever played the campaign, you may have seen certain enemies with names on them.

These named aircrafts are actually ace pilots and as a brief explanation to why they’re called an “ace”, an ace is a pilot who’s shot down five or more aircraft in aerial combat.

Each enemy ace flies their own aircraft so by downing one of these aces, you can unlock their unique skin for that aircraft, however if you want to fly around with the skin, you do need to finish the main campaign first.

There are a total of 24 named aces throughout the campaign, but they don’t appear right away as they require a couple of steps to be spawned in.

In this guide, I’ll show you how to trigger them, and what’s the best way to unlock them.

I’ll start off in chronological order of the campaign, starting from mission 1 to 19. I’ll also show the name of the ace, and their specific aircraft.

Mission 1 “Charged Assault” | PYRO | Mig-21

To unlock this ace, you need an aircraft that can equip a special weapon that can launch multiple missiles, any variant is fine. The trigger for this ace is that you need to kill at least the third wave of bombers in one volley.

Mission 2 “Charge the Enemy” | JESTER | Mig-29

Enemy ace “JESTER” can be triggered when you destroy the control tower right after destroying all radar vehicles, but before the drones spawn in. As long as you destroy the radar vehicles before the drones spawn, you’re good to go.

Mission 3 “Two-pronged Strategy” | BAYONET | F-16C

“BAYONET” can only be triggered when you down four aircraft within two minutes, so the best way to achieve this is to use an aircraft with long range weapons. “BAYONET” will spawn behind the Arsenal Bird.

Mission 4 “Rescue” | RONIN | F-15J

“RONIN” is an F-15J that can be triggered when you fly below 200 meters during the stealth section, after that you can find him in the North.

Mission 5 “444” | FANG | F-15C

For “FANG” to spawn in, your aircraft has to take on at least half of your health for them to spawn.

Mission 6 “Long Day” | KITTEN | F-14D

To unlock “KITTEN”, you’re going to have to just fly through the tunnel at the western base, then they’ll spawn in.

Mission 7 “First Contact” | FAUCON | Typhoon

This ace is pretty easy to trigger, as you’ll need to eliminate all non-target enemies and they’ll spawn in to intercept you.

Mission 8 “Pipeline Destruction” | GAZELLE | F-15E

“GAZELLE” is one of the trickiest ones to trigger, as you need to destroy all oil tanks before the timer runs out. I recommend using aircraft that can launch bombs with a large radius. “GAZELLE” spawns alongside the drones.

Mission 9 “Faceless Soldier” | SPIDER | F-18F

In order to get “SPIDER”, you need to shoot down at least half of the non-targets for them to spawn. The best way to achieve “SPIDER” is to use air to ground missiles, as you can just shoot and forget.

Mission 10 “Transfer Orders” | LOUVETEAU | Gripen E

Just like for “BAYONET”, this one is time based as you need to defeat all SAM sites within five minutes so you’ll need a fast aircraft. “LOUVETEAU” will spawn from the east alongside other Gripens.

Mission 11 “Fleet Destruction” | IBIS & CHASSEUR | SU-33 & RAFALE M

There are two aces in this mission, “IBIS” and “CHASSEUR”. To get “IBIS”, you must fly through the cores of the sea platforms, and they’ll spawn near the Erusean Fleet. For “CHASSEUR” you’re going to have to destroy all fighter jets on the northern platforms before they go airborne, only then will they spawn.

Mission 12 “Stonehenge Defensive” | WALRUS, FOUDRE, BUFFLE | SU-34, MIR-2000-5, A-10C

There’s a lot of aces in this mission, so to be brief, “WALRUS” can be triggered when Stonehenge has taken no damage, “FOUDRE” will spawn once you fly underneath any of the Stonehenge turrets, and “BUFFLE” will spawn when you destroy the three A-10Cs from the east.

Mission 13 “Bunker Buster” | COMET | MIG-31

“COMET” is pretty easy to do, just get a fast aircraft and just target the bunkers, but the only problem is that “COMET” does spawn behind you when the ICBMs launch.

Mission 14 “Cape Rainy Assault” | GLADFLY | SU-47

Just like in ‘Star Wars’, the trigger in this mission is to complete the trench run within 2 minutes, so equip a fast and agile aircraft for this one in order for “GLADFLY” to spawn.

Mission 15 “Battle for Farbanti” | BOGEN & SERPENT | F-2A & SU-37

“BOGEN” is pretty easy, so target the Aegis ashore platform and they’ll spawn in, but intercept him quickly or else they’ll flee south. For “SERPENT” to spawn just get around 15,000 points before the timer reaches five minutes, and he’ll spawn in.

Mission 16 “Last Hope” | AXEMAN | SU-45S

Achieve at least 10,000 points in the first section of the mission for “AXEMAN” to spawn, however identify them first before shooting.

Mission 17 “Tyler Island” | MANTIS | F-35C

For “MANTIS” to spawn in, you need to fly above but also very close to the mass driver, only then will they spawn in when the bombers arrive.

Mission 18 “Lost Kingdom” | LYNX | YF-23

“LYNX” can be triggered when you destroy all targets leading to Shilage castle within three minutes, however if you don’t engage them, they will flee southward.

Mission 19 “Lighthouse” | TEMPEST & CALAMITY | F-22A & SU-57

These two are fairly simple, so to trigger both of them, you need at least 20,000 points for them to spawn in. “TEMPEST” will specifically target you while “CALAMITY” will try to flee south.

That is all the named aircrafts in ‘ACE COMBAT 7’, and I hope this guide will help you collect them all!