By: Daniel Kendle

(This article was written a week prior to the events transpiring in the ‘Super Smash Bros. Ultimate’ article. Spoilers are also included).

Hey guys, welcome back to JOYSTiCK Reviews, and by golly-gosh, I sure do love being currently alive and free! It’s such a benign feeling; it’s as if I have… rights. Hope nothing changes within the next few days to possibly reverse my current elation.

Of course, the subsequent step to continue this high is to find a way to break apart reality so that way I don’t have to let my mortal form hold my soul hostage from true joy. Now, normally someone like me, Mr. Whatshisname, should go about this through, say (chuckles), the irreparable-breakdown of known physics or whatever, but unfortunately for still-human me, that’s not possible. So, I suppose I’ll have to compromise through virtual simulation. What am I talking about? Why, it’s the video game ‘Portal.’

‘Portal’ is a game released by Valve in 2007, commonly-cited as among the greatest video games made during the 2000’s. The premise consists of the player character being a testing subject for a fictional Portal Gun, allowing the use of teleportation through orange and blue portals (doy). Through this new tool, the object of the game is to complete 19 levels, each with their own puzzles and hazards to overcome.

In the game, portals work as follows: the player gets up to 2 at a time, an orange and a blue portal. They connect to each other, being shot out of the gun to a nearby wall. Then, the player can walk, jump, or fall through. Momentum is carried through if entered through vertical ascension or descension, allowing for further mobility.

In addition to the Portal Gun, you can also pick up and place certain objects, jump, and press buttons. These combined features open up a plethora of concepts that’ll often make you scratch your head at first, then eventually learn and adapt to. ‘Portal’ is one of those rare games who’s mechanics differ from what the human mind is adjusted to in real life; we don’t have teleportation, and the technology present in the game is entirely fictional as of now. This means that any new player will have to take time figuring out the game’s mechanics, which is quite beautiful.

‘Portal’s’ puzzles are great, and it’s clear the developers at Valve had plenty of ideas while making the game. 19 levels doesn’t sound like a lot (and it isn’t, more on this later), but each has intricacies that require full concentration and dedication to figure out the Portal system as a whole. Heck, mastering moving and portal momentum allows skipping some parts of levels entirely, a great way to reward those who put in the work.

I do think that the penultimate level, among another few, are pretty tedious to complete, but it’s always satisfying to reach the elevator at the end of each. The final level, however, is easily ‘Portal’s’ best. To explain, let’s dive into ‘Portal’s’ story; spoilers ahoy!

The game’s plot is simple: you’re a test subject named Chell who awakens deep inside Aperture Science Laboratory. You’ve been tasked to complete 19 puzzles in order to test out their new Portal Gun, with the promise of cake at the end.

As you complete levels, the omnipotent voice over the loudspeaker becomes more and more deranged, if still playful. You also experience various strange moments throughout your misadventures – a couple of stages feature broken, disheveled holes in the walls leading to behind-the-scenes lab equipment. Bloody writing from past test subjects also appears, stating, “THE CAKE IS A LIE.”

Finally, after finishing level 19 the voice attempts to kill off the player in a room of lava, but you escape and explore the rest of the lab’s interiors. Abandoned, you’re taunted by the voice until escaping, reaching a large room where GLaDOS lives: a self-aware AI who’s been the one over the loudspeaker since the beginning. Angered by your escape, you fight, dismantling her “personality spheres” by throwing them in a fiery vat and killing her.

The game ends with the player outside after an explosion, being dragged away by an unknown robot. Credits roll after the reveal that yes, there was cake indeed, and an ending song sung by GLaDOS plays: “Still Alive”.

‘Portal’s’ story is great, if a tad simple. Simple’s not a bad thing, however – plot beats are memorable and interesting, and the game has a sharp sense of humor; very dry and occasionally dark. GLaDOS has quickly become among my favorite fictional characters, let alone video game antagonists. I highly recommend listening to “Still Alive” on Spotify or whatever, because it’s a very experimental and interesting theme for the story’s villain. There aren’t many spoilers in it, except for the fact that the game’s antagonist survives (shocker, I know).

‘Portal’s’ story and gamplay are awesome, but if there’s 1 big drawback, it’s its length. At around 3 hours, the experience is very short, even with additional external content after the credits end. I’m glad there’s a sequel, but the first game’s short time leaves it difficult to enjoy replaying; with its few levels, knowing what to do for each is easy to remember.

Despite this, ‘Portal’ is a fantastic experience, and I completely get the hype for it. For being 18 years old, the package runs well and holds up, even graphically. Hiccups in some puzzles and its runtime lead me to a fitting score of 8/10, which I think is fair.

But that’s that: I’ve been rambling for a while, so I think a nice walk is in order for me! Recently I saw a gingerbread house out in the woods; a visit may be in order for me soon. Until next time my friends, thank you for reading.