JOYSTiCK Non-Review: Top 5 most-wanted characters for ‘Super Smash Bros.’ 6

By: Daniel Kendle

Hey guys, it’s me, Daniel Scientist, here with the boys in the lab for another bumpin’ day at work. Since both business and my monkey breeding study’s been slow for the past few weeks, I’ve been hard at work whipping up hypotheticals for the next ‘Super Smash Bros.’ game.

With the Switch 2 direct and eventual release on the horizon, a new release for the series is near-inevitable. With the last entry, ‘Ultimate,’ becoming the best-selling fighting game ever, a follow-up is poised to release relatively-soon, as the conspiracy theorists want you to believe. It just so happens, however, that I’m extremely gullible!

‘Ultimate’ brought back every past fighter along with 24 newcomers, leading to a grand total of 89 playable characters. This total is gargantuan, and has led speculation for the next title to various areas of varying quality. Reboots, upgraded ports, and regular-old successors have all been thrown out, and each is an interesting concept.

For today’s report, I’ll be examining the latter-most option, as to simplify and streamline my ideas. Specifically, I’ll be sharing my top 5 most-wanted new fighters. Treat this article like a bingo board: if I get any right, I’m gospel; any wrong, I’m just stupid.

Without further ado, I hope you enjoy this research essay (please; I don’t want to go back to the monkey ranch), and let’s dive in.

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#5: Chell (‘Portal’ series)

I reviewed ‘Portal’ earlier this year, and have since fallen in love with the series. I think everything from the humor, writing, gameplay, and all that stuff in-between is rich with polish, and I’m surprised at the little fanfare for representation in ‘Smash.’

Despite having only a Portal Gun to her name, I think the protagonist, Chell, has some cool moveset ideas. Obviously, portals would be the focal point: her up and down Specials could be tied to spawning the blue and orange portals respectively, with her being able to fast-travel around the stage when necessary. Her side special could be something like spawning a box, being able to pass through the portals and potentially setting up combos. A fighter mostly focused on physic systems sounds REALLY cool, but balancing would be necessary.

#4: The Knight (‘Hollow Knight’)

While I’ve never fully finished ‘Hollow Knight,’ I’ve liked what I’ve seen of it so far, even if I’m not as into it as others. Still, the titular Knight would be a great addition to the next ‘Smash’ game.

Being a “Metroidvania,” ‘Hollow Knight’ has a wide array of abilities for the Knight to obtain and use. Vengeful Spirit, Desolate Dive, and Howling Wraiths are slick Special moves that come to mind. Also, these attacks are accessible by harnessing Soul, a meter that’s raised from hitting and killing enemies. So, bringing that mechanic into ‘Smash’ would fit perfectly, in my opinion! It also helps that ‘Hollow Knight’s’ a 2D game, features a double-jump power up (which could be a cool animation to transfer over), and has many stage possibilities with its vast underground world. In particular, the Radiance’s boss arena would be rad.

#3: Paper Mario (‘Paper Mario’ series)

Public outcry has deemed Waluigi the most-wanted ‘Mario’ character, and while he’s definitely in my top 20, I’ve always preferred this spin-off series’ lead role. It’s weird; I’ve never liked characters like Dr. Mario, Toon Link, and Young Link due to being strange, unnecessary inclusions, yet love this idea.

I’m not super keen on the ‘Paper Mario’ series, but after doing some research I think there’s a strong variety of avenues to take this fighter down. Hammers, confetti, and assisting support characters could all be featured, referencing both the 2D and ring combat in different games. Not a character I can give many moveset ideas for, but a strong concept still.

#2: Raven Beak (‘Metroid Dread’)

‘Metroid’ is my favorite Nintendo franchise, and ‘Dread’ is my favorite first-party Switch game. Therefore, it’s natural for among my most-wanted newcomers to be the game’s final boss, Raven Beak. A galactic warlord, this dude not only has one of the coolest designs in the franchise’s history, but also one of the best movesets.

To port some attacks over to ‘Smash,’ his neutral jab could be the 3-hit combo he performs during his fight’s first stage. His neutral Special could be his black hole projectile, which could be charged to increase size (this is similar to Samus’s neutral Special, which could be a thematic similarity). Up special? Simple: he quickly unsheathes his wings and launches into the air, like Joker’s up Special with Arsene active. Down Special? Raven Beak plants a bomb, which, while not arena-covering like in ‘Dread,’ would do a fair amount of damage at a distance, and a critical-hit if the opponent is right next to it when it detonates. Smash attacks? Reference his animations used in parrying cutscenes.

Raven Beak and the next character are vying for my personal most-wanted addition, but I eventually went with the character below for #1 for the 3rd-party “cool factor.” Still, with Ridley being among my mains in ‘Ultimate,’ Raven Beak would be an awesome addition if anything close to my envisioned concept.

#1: The Doom Slayer (‘DOOM’ series)

I mean…where do I even start? ‘DOOM’ is one of my favorite franchises in all of media, so you can probably guess I was disappointed with its main character being relegated to a Mii Costume in ‘Smash’s’ most recent entry.

Part of why the series’s combat rules is because of its mix of melee and ranged fighting. The reason I don’t care much for fighters like Master Chief from ‘Halo’ or Heavy from ‘Team Fortress 2’ being added is because their solo-projectile movesets leave them stranded in the “Zoner” archetype, a pretty lame playstyle. But with the Doom Slayer, the franchise’s ~30 year history offers bloody, gruesome weapons from every path of life. In the upcoming game ‘DOOM: The Dark Ages,’ you get a gun that grinds down and shoots out the remains of human skulls, which is cool as hell. So, for being a fighter with a storied history, wide range of moveset possibilities, and being among my favorite game series, the Doom Slayer is officially my most-wanted fighter for ‘Super Smash Bros.’ 6.

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