By: Daniel Kendle

Hello, hello all, welcome to the 1st-ever showing of “Are You Smarter Than a 9th Grader?”, where we look at your mental prowess measured in comparison to that lovely animal we can’t help but cringe at, children. Specifically, high school freshmen.

In this game we’ll ask you, the audience member, to grab a piece of paper and write down the numbers 1-20. This is because we are going to ask you 20 questions in total, each with 4 possible answers. There is only 1 correct answer to each, and all are true statements.

At the end, we’ll have you tally up your answers. If you get one right, you get 2 points, meaning you can theoretically get a maximum of 40. Then, you multiply your answer by 2 and see how well you did. I’ve included some labels showing your strength depending on how well you did.

And, just a quick side-note: this game is best played with friends! Grab that one pal of yours who just won’t leave you alone about your D+ in Pre-Calculus and show them that yes, you are the superior hominid.

With all that being said, let’s begin.

“ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A 9TH GRADER?”

….

QUESTION ONE: “Which of the following is NOT one of the 7 man-made wonders of the world, as of 2023?”

• A. The Taj Mahal
• B. Machu Picchu
• C. The Sydney Opera House
• D. Christ the Redeemer

QUESTION TWO: “How many counties are there in Tennessee?”

• A. 95
• B. 87
• C. 21
• D. 25

QUESTION THREE: “Who won the award ‘Best Cinematography’ during the 2023 Oscars award ceremony?”

• A. ‘Black Panther: Wakanda Forever’
• B. ‘The Whale’
• C. ‘Everything Everywhere All At Once’
• D. ‘All Quiet On The Western Front’

QUESTION FOUR: “What are the names of the 2 main characters in John Steinbeck’s ‘Of Mice And Men?’”

• A. Joe and Farlock
• B. Benn and Richter
• C. George and Lennie
• D. Gobo and Lockland

QUESTION FIVE: “Who wrote the book, ‘The Lost World?’”

• A. Charles Dickens
• B. Michael Crichton
• C. Mark Twain
• D. Maya Angelou

QUESTION SIX: “A juvenile bison is known as what?”

• A. A kid
• B. An infant
• C. A sprout
• D. A calf

QUESTION SEVEN: “In the game ‘Wingspan,’ you are tasked with collecting and playing birds on a preserve, as it’s a card game. What is a species of bird that does NOT appear in the game?”

• A. Heath Hen
• B. Horned Lark
• C. Willet
• D. Canada Goose

QUESTION EIGHT: “How long did World War 1 last?”

• A. A year
• B. 4 years
• C. 8 years
• D. 2 years

QUESTION NINE: “What day is St. Patrick’s Day celebrated?”

• A. March 16
• B. March 8
• C. March 23
• D. March 17

QUESTION TEN: “Which primary color combination is necessary for getting the secondary color orange?”

• A. Red & Blue
• B. Blue & Green
• C. Yellow & Red
• D. Green & Yellow

QUESTION ELEVEN: “What were the spikes on a Stegosaurus’ tail called?”

• A. Thagomizers
• B. Spikes
• C. Ribblebacks
• D. Spinal Needles

QUESTION TWELVE: “What is the only US state that can be spelled only using the middle letters on a standard keyboard (A, S, D, F, G, H, J, K, L)?

• A. Hawaii
• B. Alaska
• C. Alabama
• D. Kansas

QUESTION THIRTEEN: “What symbol on a QWERTY keyboard is known as ‘Caret?’”

• A. *
• B. %
• C. ^
• D. ~

QUESTION FOURTEEN: “What is the Minnesota State Muffin?”

• A. Pumpkin Muffin
• B. Banana Muffin
• C. Strawberry Muffin
• D. Blueberry Muffin

QUESTION FIFTEEN: “How many bones are in the human body?”

• A. 318
• B. 206
• C. 79
• D. 184

QUESTION SIXTEEN: “How many sides does a nonagon have?”

• A. 9
• B. 12
• C. 13
• D. 8

QUESTION SEVENTEEN: “Which video game won ‘Game of the Year’ at the Game Awards 2022?”

• A. ‘God o fWar: Ragnarok’
• B. ‘Stray’
• C. ‘Elden Ring’
• D. ‘Neon White’

QUESTION EIGHTEEN: “What is currently the largest living land mammal on Earth?

• A. American Bison
• B. African Elephant
• C. Hippopotamus
• D. Javan Rhinoceros

QUESTION NINETEEN: “Which of the following devices is used to spin thread and weave fabric?”

• A. Steam Engine
• B. Loom
• C. Anvil
• D. Printing Press

QUESTION TWENTY: “What are the 3 dimensions in ‘Minecraft’ called?

1. The Overworld, the Underworld, and the Midworld
2. The Beginning, the Between, and the End
3. The Real World, the Slip, and the Waste
4. The Overworld, the Nether, and the End

…..

Alrighty, that’s all of them! Now that you’ve either written down or remembered your results, let’s go over the correct answers.

• Q1. C
• Q2. A
• Q3. D
• Q4. C
• Q5. B
• Q6. D
• Q7. A
• Q8. B
• Q9. D
• Q10. C
• Q11. A
• Q12. B
• Q13. C
• Q14. D
• Q15. B
• Q16. A
• Q17. C
• Q18. B
• Q19. B
• Q20. D

So, like I said, once you tally up your answers – remember, you get 2 points for each correct answer – multiply your amount by 2 and look below to see what your mental prowess equates to.

0 – 20 Points: You’re probably some kind of non-human mammal. In that case, how are you reading this?

21 – 30 Points: You probably don’t concern yourself with random trivia. I suppose it’s admirable how you devote yourself to learning logical facts, but then again, where’s the flare in that?

31 – 40 Points: While you do tend to enjoy trivia, you don’t spend every waking moment of your day studying random facts. Pathetic.

41 – 50 Points: This is generally the standard base for most to be at. Congrats; you satisfy my standards for trivia.

51 – 60 Points: You are definitely smarter than a 9th grader. Then again, that’s practically a given for society at this point.

61 – 70 Points: Where’s your college diploma? Yeah, you’ve earned this title, congratulations! Now go use your intellect to solve world hunger, or something.

71 – 80 Points: Okay, you’re starting to scare me a bit.

And with that, the world’s FIRST game of “Are YOU Smarter Than a 9th Grader” has concluded. Thanks for playing, and I’ll see you next time. I’ve been your host, Mr. Whatsername, and I’ll actually be doing my Geometry homework now.